New to posting on this site. A little background- I have always had a heightened awareness of my health and had mild anxiety about little things. But never has it gotten this bad.
It all started a few weeks ago when I had some back aches. The first thing I did...go on google. Immediately I diagnosed myself with bone cancer. From there I started feeling all of the symptoms. My anxiety then manifested into thinking I have all different forms of cancer, you name it, I've got it. I have gotten blood tests, they came back fine. Been to the doctor multiple times and she says I'm fine. I get panick attacks at night laying in bed thinking and imagining the absolute worst scenarios. Shaking so bad I can't move. I feel out of body. I feel sick all the time. I can't enjoy anything. Cant eat or sleep. Can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's horrible to say but sometimes I feel like I'd rather be dead than feel these absolutely terrible thoughts and sensations in my body. My own mind is making me crazy!! I am going to sertraline. Hoping I'm not alone.
Jennifer you are not alone there are many people on here with exactly the same anxieties as you. I've also been super sensitive to health related issues all my life but last August it got really bad after a period of unexplained nausea and lack of appetite (which the doc said was stress). Of course I did as you did and googled this and yep basically Dr Google said I had cancer...so I was convinced that's what I had despite 4 docs saying otherwise! The thing is google any symptom and you'll get the answer cancer along with loads of other minor things but you will always ignore the minor things and go for the worst case scenario.
I'm much better now but it's still a daily struggle, for example today I felt off my food at lunch and had a panic about it. Realistically it was prob due to an important meeting I had and I was stressed about it but I still can't 100% believe that's all it is...there are still niggling negative thoughts floating round.
Do you see a counsellor at all?
Trust me you are not alone!
I've also had all your anxiety symptoms especially the shaking and feeling out of body. It does get better but you need to talk about it. You need to set targets, try to do one little thing a day to help you on your journey. My first step was to ban myself googling health stuff, I still have the odd day when I let myself down and Google but I consciously make an effort not to do this. Like an alcoholic does with drink!
I suffer exactly the same as you . If I get a pain I google it and diagnose some incurable illness and I developed all the symptoms of that illness . You are not alone because the things you suffer from I suffer too and it's very unpleasant . X
Hi Jen, I'm sorry to hear you're feeling this way!
I too am living with health anxiety, and everyday is a struggle. Something that really helped me has been CBT therapy. I had it when I first developed symptoms and it really helped rationalise my thoughts. I've been going through a bad spout recently so I've decided to go back that could be an option for you!
I know money wise it may be difficult, I live in England so I get it free on the NHS, but I think group therapies could be free?
Also there are loads of free online resources for mindfulness.
Feel free to message if you want a chat.
All the best, Millie xxx
How's things now Jennifer.
Hope your feeling a bit more yourself xx
Did you try the mindful meditations? These really helped me and i still do them regularly xx
Just reading your post makes my heart hurt because I know so well the pain you feel . This is exactly how I feel I’ve always struggled with health anxiety , but it normally comes in flares . I was health anxiety free for 4 years until my best friend age 22 recently passed away unexpectedly since then my health has flared . On a really bad day just like you I go to bad shaking thinking that I just have a illness spreading inside me . When my friends talk about things I pretend I’m excited but inside I’ve convinced myself that i’ll either be dead by then or seriously ill that I won’t be able to participate . There was a point where eating was too also so hard because I just couldn’t seem to relax . As we speak I’m going through a rough patch but it does get a little bit better then the last episode each time . Stay strong I know one day is suffders will find a way to deal with this and lead LONG , normal health lives x