Hi I feel like I'm going mad in the last 5 years my marriage has ended after 21 years lost my house my mum died and also my dad and my brother has had 2 heart attacks ...I always feel like it's going to be me next I panic when I'm out incase I die my anxiety goes through the roof when I start to feel different I always think the worse hardly ever positive so so negative I've had so much counselling but it helps for a short while and then anxiety comes back . I just want to feel normal because when I do have a good day I feel amazing but when I'm not I'm crying get angry want to run away all crazy thoughts just so fed up feeling this way , it's no way to live but because it's gone on I don't know what's real or what's anxiety ... I work full time have 3 grown up children but just not coping some days when I'm off I don't want to go out of the house ..just need some help over coming this ... is it just the grieving process for mum and dad
Wow, you have been through so much. How are you dealing with it all? I think counselling is working for you, just keep going. It is a good place to vent and get support. Have you tried any anxiety support groups in your area? You could try the Anxiety and Phobia workbook. It helped a lot for me. But I think you are grieving and so counselling is a good place for you. Try yoga and long walks and positive affirmations. Be kind to yourself. You have been through so much and you are still fighting. Also, you could try the Headspace App for meditation. The founder of the app had been through some tragedies and realized meditation was the answer. It's hard when you're emotional, but if you can learn to just observe your feelings instead of always participating in them, this is very important for your recovery. "Oh, I'm feeling anxious" , take a deep breath and move on. You can youtube Mingyur Rinpoche. He is a monk that used to suffer from panic attacks. You will get through this. Believe it. Have compassion for yourself. 💓💓💓
Thankyou so much I will definatly look into the apps mentioned, I've finished counselling ... they seem to think after the 6 weeks your be ok , my mum passed away 5weeks after being diagnosed with breast and lung cancer and she hadn't been ill at all ...then my dad passed away 6 months ago my life seems so empty but thankyou again for giving me a thought I will try anything to feel normal ... take care 💕
Jan, you're grieving for loads of things at the moment. It's very hard to cope with all these things simultaneously and I'm not surprised you're temporarily falling apart.
Are you on any meds? Reading through what you've written suggests to me that your brain is racing away and needs some calming.
Usually counselling helps but I believe you have a good deal of insight and at the moment your problems are fully due to life events. It reminds me of Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events.
Do remember that people on this forum will be rooting for you.
Thankyou mac your right my councilor said I remind her of a swan swimming calmly on the surface but underneath the water my legs are racing at a hundred miles an hour ...no not on any meds wanted to try and fight this awlful anxiety without them , I have a professional job and don't want to not be feeling great from the pills too ... it's such a good feeling to know people care ,,
Hi Jan. I can empathise. My mum and dad and wife all died in a very short space of time and I have struggled with anxiety ever since. I do take meds with mixed results. As my son was very young when his mother died I focused totally on him and I think I repressed my grief. Now my anxiety will build up and then I cry and feel a bit better again so I think this is all overwhelming grief which I am scared to feel. You may be the same. I have tried counselling and been to CRUSE bereavement which helped a bit but no solution. I have become very afraid to be on my own. I don't have any answers but I have found that meditation and buddhist understandings do help. It is worth looking on youtube for videos by buddhist teachers on fear. They have helped me. I wish you all the very best and hope that we will get better in time. ps I have found that it is best not to fight anxiety, accept it as much as you can. This seems counter-intuitive but does help. You are definately not going mad. It is grief and anxiety. Getting some help from a trauma therapist might help. God bless xx
So sorry to hear what you have been through. I agree with you, meditation is the answer. You have to "make friends" with your anxiety instead of hating it and fearing it. I listen to a lot of guided meditation for anxiety and it makes me feel better.
Thankyou and I wish you all the very best too . I am definatly going to listen to some meditation apps ... thankyou
I'm very sorry about everything that is going on. take deep breaths when you feel like you are going to lose it.
I feel like I'm losing it nearly everyday ... I don't know my body anymore or my mind it's completely muddled ..
Hold on, Jan. Things will get better in time. We are here for you.
Thankyou mac I hope things do get better it's been such a long struggle and doesn't seem to be getting any easier at all ...
You know what, Jan?
You write such thoughtful and supportive replies to everyone on this site and you need some support yourself.
That's your right! We are glad to be here for you.
Hey Mac it's such a warm feeling to know that there's others that are there for you as I always felt so alone going through it , and I'm thankful to all you loverly people that are in the same position as me ... always thought it was just me ...