hi everyone first of all i would like to tell you a bit about me im 52 and have suffered with anxiety from about 20 odd years of age, though i always remember been a worrier even growing up. ive had counselling, hypnotherapy, about 5 different medications, acupuncture, literally everything and nothing has made me well. the drugs did for a while but i think my body has grown immune after been on them for 30 odd years. i overthink everything and fear death of loved ones and myself. im tired of been sad and afraid. i google my symptoms constantly to the point i know just about every symptom of every cancer. over the years ive diagnosed myself with at least 10 different kinds. i think im obsessed with illness but i really dont want to be. if 1 of my friends tells me someone they know has cancer i ask them what their symptoms were, to see if i have them. i know this is not normal but i cant help myself. my biggest fear now though is als, im petrified and its taking over my life, i suffer with all over body twitches and my left calf has just recently started to spasm its terrifying, i also have brisk reflexes which are common with this dreaded disease. my limbs jump and jerk, admittedly this is more when im very anxious. tonight when i was getting ready for bed i was studying my legs to see if they were the same size, and i thought 1 looked smaller than the other, my heart started racing and i honestly thought i was going to be sick i even went downstairs and measured my calves??why am i like this, i would give anything to be normal and theirs no price for peace of mind. on top of all this i lost my mum on mothers day this year, i didnt get to see her because of covid. i dont know how long i can suffer like this. thanks for reading. much love to you all xx
omg i swear we are soulmates!!! lol
you sound so much like me. i am almost 50 suffered with severe anxiety for over 20 years. my main problem is health anxiety. same with me. very rarely does a week go by without an obsessive health concern from MS to cancer. its so bad i wont go to the Dr for my yearly exams guess what my current symptom is?? eye twitching 
i have googled for hours and have convinced myself that i have a neurological disease
so sorry about your mom. i didnt see that initially i also do not mean to make light of what you go through. im not kidding just yesterday i was examining my eyes trying to see if they looked the same since one keeps twitching i thought one looked different/droopier etc i was thinking of strokes etc the minute i looked and thought that my heart was pounding
did you tell your dr about your symptoms? probably anxiety or vitamin deficiency
hi jennifer
not so long ago i was at doctors all the time, getting tests etc, but now im the opposite and im frightened to go in case he says i need to see a neurologist, that will finish me off as im convinced i have a neurological illness. at first it was dementia because im always forgetting things, misplacing items etc, i even have to have sub titles on the tv because i sometimes find it difficult to follow conversations. not sure where youre from but i live in the uk and its 2.30 in the morning and ive been googling muscle atrophy because im convinced 1 leg is smaller than the other. i even weigh myself to see if i have lost weight. i know this isnt normal im obsessed and it scares the hell out of me. a few days ago i convinced myself that i had to much saliva and i was going to choke on it and that i couldnt swallow properly. not a day goes by that i dont think im seriously ill. my partner has a couple of ulcers in his mouth and im worried its cancer. why do we suffer like this xx
For what it is worth - I am identical to you guys! So glad to read this and know that I’m not alone. I am 76 - but have suffered with anxiety for about 30 years - and to a lesser extreme longer than that. Last year I had my ovaries removed in August and colon resection in Dec. b/c of diverticulitis. Those were real situations, but now I’m convinced that there is something else wrong that they missed b/c I don’t have regular bowel movements. I obsess about what I should be eating, drinking, etc. I try everything I read - which is a lot! No wonder I have problems, but my anxiety shows up besides the obsessing by having weak sinking spells. I fell like everything is draining out of me. Especially after I eat. I’m convinced I have covid - high blood pressure - low blood pressure - heart problems, you name it. I’m always much better in the evening, I guess b/c I’m thankful I made it through another day! I have had these before - many years ago, so I know what it is, but that doesn’t help when I’m in the middle of an obsession. Covid is not helping - I rarely leave my house - paranoid about that, too. I’m divorced so live alone, and my two children live far away - one out of the country. Way way too much time to dwell on everything, and I take full advantage of it. Just want you to know it has helped to read these narratives, and know that I’m not alone.
hi lisa . I am also in my 50s and suffer the exact same thing! I hope you don’t mind, I sent you a private message. Let me know what you think!
I think I have health anxiety also. Ever since the birth of my first child I am terrified of dying and leaving my children without a mother. After my first child i developed ventricular ectopics which lasted for years. I was convinced I had post partum cardiomyopathy. Had all the tests and it was all fine. The ectopics settled down after the birth of my son but two weeks ago I developed a tingling, like mild pins and needles, in my left foot. A week later it had spread to both legs, feet, hands and parts of the face. I also felt exhausted and was so worried I could hardly eat or sleep. Im still struggling to eat properly like there is a lump in my throat constantly. All my bloods have been normal. I even went to A&E yesterday where they checked me over and sent me away with propranolol and a referral to neurology just in case. I have been feeling a bit better today but still cant eat so now im worried about that. Honestly there is always something to worry about and Ive had enough of being like this!
I just wanted to say that I understand what you are going through. Health anxiety is awful and robs you of your life. . About 4 years ago, I developed an serious anxiety revolving around my health. I was 36 years old and I was convinced I was dying of breast cancer. I had never had health anxiety before. In fact, I was the complete opposite. I think that’s why I was so sure I had it, because why else would I feel that way. I won’t go into all the details but I promised myself I would come back on here a share what I learned. I tried everything natural that I could find to help because I hate taking medicine. The only time I took medication was when I was on ADHD meds, which I took for 16 years. I stopped around age 32. Anyway, I’m a “researcher” and I looked up everything I could. All of the things I did took the edge off, but I wanted to be my old self again. Never once in my research did I come across a connection between ADHD and health anxiety. It was one person on one of these forums that mentioned something about it. I thought, what do I have to lose. I called my brother and asked him for some of his medication because it was the same one I used for 16 years and I felt comfortable taking it. I’m not exaggerating, within 20 mins, I felt normal. I got a psychiatrist and I’ve been on my meds this whole time. It did come back a few times in the beginning, but only for a short time. I don’t want to jinx it but I haven’t really had any issues. I do think it gave my a little PTSD. There are more details but this is already long enough. I never post on anything but I felt obligated because they never really mention the connection. In fact, they say stay away from stimulants because they make it worse and I’m sure they do for most, but not everyone. I’m not a doctor but I would take an online ADHD test and if you score high for it , I would talk to a doctor about it. I hope this helps someone. I’ll post it in some different places.
Hi Lisa
I watched a youtube video reently, where it said try living your life one day at a time as if you had nothing to worry about, and fill your day up with things you enjoy.
Now i’m counting up my happy days instead of my dark days
arianna
thankyou for your reply, i cant actually believe this, but ive been trying to convince family/doctors that i have ADHD for a couple of years now. im 52 but struggled with lots of things going right back to my school days, too many things to mention. i have read up about ADHD and its like it was actually wrote about me, i was so shocked, ive also done a online test and scored high, and now youve mentioned it im convinced. i was due to see someone before covid 19 but obviously everything was put on hold so still waiting. thankyou once again x