Thank you all so very much, for the in-depth replies, we have read your comments and found them all understandable and very constructive. It would be hard for us to reply to each and every question put to us, but will follow some of your ideas which as said very constructive.. 21 yrs of age or not, we have to protect our daughter, her pass port has been removed until we get some anwers that we vcan agree on....
This latest event is one of a few, only last year she made a decision to go and live with some one she had met online, didn't want to know us, My wife, son and I were all the enemy, there was nothing we could do except tell her when she needed us we would be there, in a short time she was back home. We gave her support and thought we were getting along well.. Her back ground and attitude has left her with NO friends, my families have passed away and my wife’s family just do not show any interest, so it’s left to us.
She was severely bullied in School and at College, to the point i had to intervene providing the college with screen shots of verbal abuse, we met with the college whom told us they would address this issue. two days later our daughter was told she needed counseling the other people involved in the bulling were just spoken too, aloud to carry on in there activities, my daughter felt she was getting punished as we did too. She has had a few boyfriends but did not last, one of her most recent ones failed, we had to pick her up from the hospital because (according to our daughter) collapsed, after weeks of thoughts we think she may have been drugged and raped or possible physically abused. She just will not speak about it. We feel that this was a turning point for her as she became quite verbally aggressive and very opinionated towards others, and therefore lost friendships.
Our daughter has had some 11 sessions with a counselor but it seems that that has had no affect on her at all, we suggested anger management but the counselor tells her she doesn’t need it, suggested that she is not bipolar, however we do not agree.
We are now at a stage where she will NOT communicate with us, each and every time we talk and ask her to join in or tells us what she wants , she just stares forward with no verbal exchange, she sheds no tears hardly any emotions with the exception of anger.. She consistently lies to us all, her only safe keep is her mobile phone..
We have two friends in the USA, one in TN the other in NC whom we have spoke to, both agree this is not a healthy relationship for her to go into, especially only knowing this lad for a very few weeks.
Come Monday we will be making contact with our GP, hopefully he will call our daughter in and may be do some tests, she is a danger to her self, not enough to be sanctioned.
We as parents have hoped we have done everything we can now and in the past, but some where our daughter has got lost.
We are not pretending to be the best parents, who is, its all a learning curve for us all. However we do feel we have supported on children all the time with no exceptions, treated them both the same, helped where we can and listened when we had to, but this latest events is just so painful, its day after day and with Christmas on the arising its going to be sad time for all, but our daughter see’s no problem, she does not except that we are all suffering.
My wife will most certainly need help as she has experienced an physical abuse from her father and all this is coming back to her, she cries each and every night. It may sound very biased but she is the most caring lady you would meet, always there for every one and cannot understand why she is treated in such away…
Sorry for the lengthy reply. Thank you once more for the replies which have been noted.
Kindest regards to you all..