My boyf has been depressed for some time and recieving treatment. He has been doing realy well with few ups and downs. When he is down he is very mean to me (emotional abuse) and start of week he went ballistic over me leaving a box and a cup out. He has ignored me all week and said he hates me. He has now moved into spare room and took all his stuff in there. Calling docs would be a betrayal to him and yet I believe he is being totally irrational. He asked his mum to stay but his step dad said no so he started on her blaming her and swearing at her every hour by text. She said it was just like his alcky dad was and she is devastated. I have tried talking and I can't eat or sleep. He needs help but no idea where to start and now suicidal myself. He has issues with drugs now and then. I am scared. A couple of years ago we were arrested but only he got charged. If I leave I fear he will kill himself sorry its jumbled but I am lost
I will add we have been together a very long time so I am not prepared to throw it away and he knows I am always wanting to help. Should I called his mental health nurse and ask she acts with discretion or get him help with him knowing and deal with the fallout after and he is more important than us
I think you call his nurse in confidence and ask for discretion and see if you can level his mood
I am terrified he is too far gone and will refuse help. I dont even know how to start the coversation that he needs help. His behaviour is irrational and I am a mess right now. I don't want to lose him he won't see it as love. I am considering ending my life to the point I have wrote a suicide note but I want to help him
Sarah, I think you need to consider yourself in this case, you are obviously depressed and need to see your GP if your having suicidal thoughts.
By all means call the nurse as Jimmy-UK suggests.
In order to look after your BF you need to look after yourself, equally your BF is having emotional difficulties and you can blame his unacceptable behaviour on that, yet he needs to know how it is affecting you directly ( his mum can look after herself so you needn't burdon yourself with her feelings).
If hes not talking to you then write him a letter and shove it under his door, pour out your feelings in a truthful way and ask him to examin his behaviour towards you, whatever you want to write.
Give him the opportunity to accept your help but don't make any decisions for him, that's for him to make the choice, all you can do is offer it perhaps once you've spoken with his nurse. If he refuses the help or doesn't acknowledge that his behaviour is distructive then you can't do any more other than to either ride it out or tell him for the sake of your own health that he needs to find his own path and walk it alone.
Brutal as it sounds , you are what is important and your mental wellbeing is paramount.
He cannot control you or your emotions like he is so you need to retake the lost control help yourself and in doing so him.I wish I could talk to your BF myself but obviously that's not possible, but you take care and get yourself well! Neil