Help me, my anxiety is out of control.

Mental health
1

I'm a teacher and feel completely out of my depth. I am responsible for end of year data collection, no one will ask me to prove my judgements and I won't be there in September if it transpires that they are not accurate anyway.

Having said that, I have been laying awake at night for the almost the last month, I've made myself poorly worrying and now ill with one week to go until deadline and six weeks until I finish. I just don't know how to stop my thoughts so I can relax and get better and I don't know how to make myself believe I will be ok and that the data, although it seems huge to me, isn't really that big a deal. Anyone out there with words of reassurance, please help me before I go completely and utterly mad! 😥

2

Hi Rachel, sorry to hear of your plight. Can the data collection be done in manageable   chunks? It's very difficult to believe in your ability when your feeling this way but what I have found is that once you start the process the task doesn't seem as onerous and the anxiety goes, like you say the data collection isn't really that big a deal.

I can tell you you won't go completely mad, once you start you will be ok.

Neil 

3

Rachel What exactly is end of year data collection?

 

4

Rachel

​I am sure that you are perfectly able and capable of tacklingthis task. It sounds as though you are anxious and that is getting in the way. I feel that youneed a bit pf practical help to get you started then you will just slip into it very naturally and get on with th natters in hand. To give you that spurt I have sent you a link on the subjecct.

​I just think you have losta bit of self esteem and confidence for some reason however that can be regained , so please do not  give up. I went through something similar whilsy at Uni and it is astonishing how even a simple task can get out of perspective. You are not going mad. U are  reacting to stress.

5

Thank you so much, I feel like you know me even though we've never met! I started today in small steps and asked for some support from someone I trust who helped me believe in what I was saying. Thanks so much again, I really appreciate your support!

6

It's me saying what level the children are but I'm responsible for it for three age groups and I've only known them for three months, I took the job as a favour and I've found it hard as I've had no suppprt or guidance and just don't my best under these circumstances while also suffering from anxiety. I needed to hear what you said. I have started today in small chunks, I asked someone to help me and 'ok' what I was saying. You're right, my self esteem was knocked although not really for any reason and since then I have constantly doubted myself. I appreciate your reply. Thanks so much!

7

Hi againRachel

You are very welcome.

No problem.

I trained as an OH nurse and have worked in a University in Student Health so have met quite a few academics - Professors, Readers with similar issues! 

I also experienced somethng similar whilst at Uni whilst doing a counsellng skills course - all dueto an  insecure to a bulying tutor.

​The tutor had her favourites and I was not one of them!! Face did not fit scenario!

Most of the class disliked her and reported her to the Dean.

I did not get involved with their complaints BUT.. she  refused to sign or mark my well researched paper saying it was too complex for her.

Yet when I went to UNI to do an extra nursing course my papers were well received and I obtained high marks and praise so I knew my capabilities which this other tutor was trying to  knock out of me!!

I  ripped it in half when she handed it back to me after she announced for everyone to hear thqta shehad noot marked it. I smiled sweetly then just ripped it  in half in front of everyone.

She was very shocked.

She asked to see me privatelyafterwards and refused to go to her.

Instead I went to th Dean and made a complaint. He glanced at my quickly sellotapedwork and said he was not prepared to paytutors to bully students and to refuse to mark papers and guide students.

He suspended her.

​I am not auggsting anyone else should do something as drastic but I am writing about it because in most sutiations there is always a resolution.

These things can happen to anyone no matter how competent or clever or strong.

It is like being bullied . It sounds as though you are suffering from a mild post traumatic staress disorder , this is a natural reaction to a stressor.

I am sure that you will point out that you have only known these children for three months etc.

I would ask other colleagues what they did in a similar situation. I am sure that you will find a solution yetretain your integrity and professionalism .

Keep coming here or anywhere for suport, I went to the Out of Hours GP about the tutor as well.

I would avoid any Organisation sarranged or set up with your employer as you need to be independent of any bias , pressure during this transient period of your life.

As they say don't let the b.......... get you down!

 

8

Sorry about the typos and repetition.

Jane xx

9

Hello Rachel. I know how anxiety works and when it comes to work related there's really not much you can do. I don't want to sound cheesy but whatever will be will be. I actually have health anxiety and it's leading me into depression so my advice is don't let it get you that far down. PS if you are seeing a doctor I would ask if there's anything he would suggest for anxiety.

10

Thank you for that, you are absolutely right, I have the support of my family and only six weeks left until I finish for good. I just need to keep things in perspective for those last six weeks. I'm sorry about your anxiety too though, can you get support from someone? Maybe your GP can help you if they haven't already? I do hope you're ok.

11

I've sent you some stuff in private message, hope it helps! x

12

Hi again

I think you will be okay. As you say youare leaving in six weeks time so....

​I  am struggling to understand how anyone can collect data especially on different age groups in such a short space of time.

I think that that is the puzzling bit that any person would be struggling with. Best to see what your colleagues say ,do your best, be fair,put all this down to  experience and move on.

​Take care  Jane x

13

Thanks Jane, I agree completely. Luckily a lot of the collection has been done up to this point so I only have to give the final decision and have sought the advice of the previous teacher anyway. As you say though, 6 weeks left and I will put it down to experience. If your heart says something isn't right, listen to it and don't fall for emotional blackmail!

14

Thanks, I'll check now xx

15

You mentoned about emotional blackmail what exactly do you mean?

Di someone pressurise you in any way?

Are you saying that you did not want to take this post in the first place?

Sorrty about the questions but you mentioned in your  first posting that you were doing this job as a favour.

​Did you have mixed feelings aboutthis job initially? if you did I would put it down toexperience. The best iof us make mistakes eg  taking an  unsuitable job or working for a not very nice Organisation that  sort of thing. Sometimes choosing the  wrong career etc.

 

16

Thanks again Jane. Yes, I took a post which had challenges that I hadn't previously faced but over time I was able to come to terms with these and as the contract ended I felt quite happy with what I had been able to achieve.

Following this, my boss asked me to stay on and cover a new class. I made it clear that I didn't feel comfortable doing it but he basically begged me to do it until he found someone else. I made it clear that I'd had no experience of working in this age group and would want support but in the meantime, the place has become less happy as staff become more stretched and that support hasn't materialised. I am honestly doing my best but because no one is coming in to see how I'm doing I've lost all my confidence, I feel like I am being expected to take responsibility for things I never wanted to and like they're really important. I know this is all sorts of negative thinking and that I do need to put it down to experience but I care so much that I can't let it go!

17

I undrstand Rachel.I just sense that  despite your fears you are doing alright.

I am sure that you would not have been asked to do this work if you were not capable of doing so.

​Try not to worry I am sure that you wil find that you are doingthings exactly right andthat people will be happy with you and the work you are doing.

18

Thank you Jane, that really helps me. It's what others tell me too, I just find it hard to accept that it's true when no one is 'checking' all the time! Thanks again, I have the rest of the week to recover properly then back for the last six, hopefully in the sunshine with the pleasures of sports day, trips, leavers days and afternoons outside to look forward to. You've really been very kind, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your words. It's what I need to hear on a daily basis really! ;-)

19

You are very welcome. We all need support in varying degrees at some time or another. We are all here for you. xx