HELP please I'm so depressed.
As a child i was molested. My bf knew this. Ive been having issues with bf for a long time now (hes done me wrong so many times before) And yesterday he crossed the line. He said he wanted to role play. And abduct me and rape me. I dont see that as a fantasy to me since i was molested. He KNOWS what i went through so why would he do this to me. I dont understand why he likes treating me like im nothing.This was the last straw for me i want nothing to do with him im so broken all over again. We talked on the phone last night and i brought it up. He was drunk and being rude he didnt even see it as a bad thing and told me to shut the F-up. I cant take any of this anymore i dont deserve any of this
OMG. No matter who this person is to you or what they thought they were doing (role playing ), you were raped. Doesn't matter what you did after, whether talked to him on the phone, etc, there is no correct behaviour for a victim. If you feel you can follow through, can you consider going to the police? It would be really difficult, but sounds like kidnapping and sexual assault charges here. Please consider.
I am sorry to hear that. I know how you must feel as I was sexually abused as well. You need to get a new partner, he isn't sensitive to your pain and doesn't seem to care. When you find the right person they will treat you with respect and would never have you engage in some seedy role play. Have you tried to get help for what happened? There are hot lines you can call.
no one knows ur worth more than u. and if he really loves you, he will accept you and your past no matter what. he will treat ypu as a queen. sonif i were ypu leave that a**hole and start living for yourself. the right guy will come soon. one that will treat u as a his queen and will focus on ypur future together
Thank you for your kind words. I have seeked for help in the past but i decided to go again i have an appointment on monday. I just wish this pain would go away. Everything makes me feel worse because i love him i know i sound dumb for even saying that but he is all i know
Thank tou for the words i appreciate them a lot. I know he doesnt care but its hard for me to accept it like i know it but its hard for me to believe it. I feel disgusted with myself but i know this will take time.Yes I decided to get help again i will be going to therapy in the next few days. Thank you you for taking the time to write to me
You must remember this isn't your fault. You must look forward to a better future without abuse. There is someone out there who will love you for who you are and they would never do something that would bring back bad memories.
You would be a shallow person if your emotions could so quickly change from love to hate. It is very normal to have complex, mixed up, and fluctuating feelings for someone who we once trusted and then abused us. How does one quickly process that emotionally? Answer is, not quickly. You just need to know that it was wrong, you are the survivor, and get the help to work through the emotions with a rape crisis counseller.