Hello everyone,
Thank you for taking the time to read my post, I am quite grief stricken and I am not sure what kind of decision to make regarding my father, whom I love very much.
The hospital wants to know whether or not my father will undergo a tube insertion into his stomach because he was unable to safely pass the swallow test.
The doctor estimated roughly 3 weeks to 1-2 months without the insertion of the tube, and likely the tube would at most extend his life maybe months out. Of course, none of this is certain. My father when he was well, always expressed to me that he wanted to extend his life as long as possible, he had a terrible fear of death.
I asked him this question, and he could not make a decision, although I asked if he understood, and he said he did.
My father was a man who experienced very little happiness in his life, one of his greatest hopes, was to become a grand father. As I told him when he was in the hospital, I was about to get married (I am), it brought about the biggest smile in his face, and gave him so much energy. I want him to live to see his grand child, I want him to hold him or her once before he is gone…
I want to make the decision that will most likely make this happen. I also want him to hopefully recover. My mother will be his 24 hour caretaker, and will do the comfort feeding for him. I will also be staying with my parents to help.
I have hopes that my father’s swallowing can recover, the doctor said it’s possible, but unlikely, and it would be unlikely that he would survive 1-2 years out to see his grandchild. This is likely the case with or without a tube going into his stomach (my father also loves to eat).
The decision reached between myself, my mom, and my aunt, is to not insert the tube. I am having insane doubts and fears of regret. I would happily give years of my life to my father if I could so that he could live a little while longer to see his grandchildren and to experience some happiness in his life.
Thank you for reading this, and thank you for your reply.