hi its me again, i am getting fed up again, i have constant worries that are sticking around, which lead to me feeling down and fearful. People on here have been great saying they have had the same thing. I have had cbt and that was only useful in the fact i had someone to talk to. Two people in my family have had this and i have no idea how they survived. Has anyone survived anxiety, what happens to the worries, do you see sense, i am getting so fed up, well actually the last 3 weeks i felt things were improving, but now it seems as though its going the other way. Have i ? What if? this is my life. . Please people who have had worries and depression help. I am so tired.
Hi cit
I would also like to know that answer too. I've been ill 20 months and feel no better than then.
Lizzy
Hi Cit and Lizzy
I'm a fluoxetine taker. Is citalopram the only AD you have both tried?
If it's not working (as it doesn't for everyone), maybe a change to one of the other AD's may be worth a try.
Hope you don't think i'm butting in.
Best wishes to you both.
Hi Maganpooch
Hope you are well? Not heard from you for a while.
Yes I tried fluoxetine last Aug was on it for 9 weeks it was horrendous I never slept and i was like tigger so I changed to cit but only had about one month of just OK so after 6 months came off that and am now waiting for CBT. I'm OK as long as I don't have to cope with too much.
It needs sorting but i think when the my other condition is under control the anxiety and depression may be easier to treat. So D Day is the 27th for condition then back for another type of AD i think maybe if I can face doc.
Take care.
Lizzy
If someone could honestly reasure me that its the illness then that would be great. I am so tired. Have all of you had what i have had. I am living in a world of wake up, worry, laugh, worry. I will say that it has been getting better but this week has been rubbish. Can someone please just help , i am at week 12 of medication, how long can it take, can someone who has survived please write on here. Emilysmum wrote on my last one, but i need constant reasurance. Sorry
Hi there
You poor thing. It's rough isn't it. Are you like me you want people to talk to. Then, as soon as they've gone it's as though they never happened?
I don't know about you but it's the intense loneliness and isolation I find the hardest. People tell me to keep busy so I am. And yes, it is better but only while I'm busy then, it all comes back like a ton of bricks. I just wish I could sleep better. How are you sleeping? Do you feel frustrated like me?
I don't know if this reply helps but from my point of view I'd love to hear from you.
Take Care, we're not alone which actually does help doesn't it.
Love Funnygirl xxx (why the name? it cheers me up)
hi there
I was on citalopram a couple of years ago for a few months. In this time, I started to react to the weather! On a sunny day I was experiencing euphoria and on cloudy days I started slipping into severe depression. I came off the citalopram and eversince haven't taken anything until now.
Although, for so many years I've been in denial of my depression, I now find myself accepting that I am clinically depressed. I've tried so many therapies and herbal remedies to no avail.
My depression stems and is deep rooted due to being physically, sexually and mentally abused by my dad. I've always tried to fight it and have tried to prove to myself that I can win. I started to study for a degree but was unable to complete it cos I think I'm a loser and failure and will always be. I see myself as being ugly and unattractive and keep telling myself its in my head. CBT did not help me. I've had counselling so many times and I just hate talking.
So now I'm back on Citalopram I've still got the same thoughts and I've started gaining weight which is making me feel even worse. I've tried telling myself getting my mind right is most important. My gp is very supportive and thinks I'm great to have made the decision to go back on anti depressants.
I'm going to go back to my gp and ask if I can change over to fluoxetine. I don't know if I'm making the right choice but I don't want to stay on citalopram and go through the madness that I had with them before. I'm tryiing to be very optimistic and hope for things to get better.
My own advice to you would be to stay on them for another couple of months and if you don't feel better than change to another AD. The SSRIs are the same in name but some of them work differently in certain parts of the brain - so I've read. Try to take each day as it comes and keep a diary of your symptoms. Thats what I do, and then I see how many good days I have and how many bad days I have.
Believe in yourself and have faith. I hope you start to feel better soon. Keep us all posted. Remember, everyone has bad days and sometimes we are just experiencing what is normal. It's just that we, who suffer from depression find it diffficult to differentiate between what is normal and what is not because we have an illness. I think we're all great cos we've taken the step to get ourselves treated.
Take care
Hi Lizzy
I seem to have level moods now. The main problem i have is remembering what i'm doing at work. I can complete one task but when i go to complete the next one (which is very similar to the first one) i forget what i'm doing.
It is so frustrating which then turns to anger. Before the illness i was the most laid back, easy going person you could meet.
My counsellor asked me last week 'when was the last time you lost your temper before the depression?'. i couldn't remember, it was so long ago. Yet last week i lost it 6 times. :grrr:
I've had a good weekend though. Spent today at the seaside. Fresh sea air makes the world of difference. It's like therapy and with the sun out too.
Hope everything goes ok on the 27th and speak soon maybe.
PS: My paranoia was telling me that you were going to tell me to mind my own business. That's another side to this illness i don't like. I'm usually wrong - irrational thoughts.
I'll stop rambling now.
Best wishes. xx
Hi Cit and Meg
Hope you are both well this fine morning? My hubby thought it would be nice to wake me up at 5am not on your life been up half the night.
Well today looks like its going to be a bad day already feel awful and only been up an hour. Still got some housework left to do then I think I shall go back to bed.
I don't get angry I just shake and go and curl up in bed.
Handed my notice in at work yesterday so now down to one job. Thought I would feel better but I don't
I hope to go to the coast next sunday.
Take care
Lizzy
I have always been a worrier, but i am just stuck in this wierd false world. My poor girlfriend is so supportive and i love her more than anything. My mum who has had this says it takes time and there is nothing to worry about. You're all so nice on here to me without even knowing me, i know i would not be this way if not for my worries, great almost crying now. This forum needs people who have come out the other side to help us. I am so tired.
Hi Cit
I'm a natural born worrier too and it's really bitten me on the bum now. With the added paranoia i didn't have before, i think the Almighty is having a great laugh at my expense.
It is really a tough call but as a quote in a book i'm reading for the 2nd time says 'It is the strong that get depression'. We can ALL beat this illness but it will take time. Hang in there mate.
The book by the way is by Dr Tim Cantopher and called 'Depressive illness - the curse of the strong'. I strongly recommend you buy yourself a copy.
My reason for joining this site originally was reading posts by a certain person who had had depression and come out the other side. When i remember his name, i'll let you know. He's on this site somewhere.
Best wishes mate.
Hi citalaman
I have followed your postings because we have been on this drug for the same length of time. You always post how you feel at what week........open up and talk to us all how you got where you are now,what do you feel ? Is it working for you, do you feel as if you are solving your problems ???
you come on this site so you know what an awful week I had last week (and the week before)
Express your feelings but also think of others we are ALL the same as you,
Take care XXXX
Andy K
Hi Michele Meg Cit Andrea and anyone else
Hope you all Ok
I'm hanging in there been really busy and plenty of stress.
Hope your Dad & Mum are Ok Michele that the chemo went OK.
lIZZY
Hi lizzy
Everything fine this week, think the sun giving me a boost.
Happy anniversary for yesterday, i've been married 14 years in september. They say time flies when your having fun !!!!!!!!
mum and dad fine, dad only got 9 chemo sessions left, he has a syringe full every week. So not as intensive as before.
Hope you and hubby ok?
You've certainly got a house full at the moment, hope weather nice at weekend for you, sounds like a fun weekend planned.
take care
michele x x
Hi Cit
Sorry but i can't find the name of that person (see previous post). I looked through the first 100 pages of members to no avail.
Hope you are reasonable?
Best wishes.
Hi All.Just read all your posts.Interesting reading.Dont worry about being a worrier-haha.I am the worst worrier in the world :roll: I worry about everthing...what people think,what I look like,my health,family health,getting up in the morning.you name it, I worry about it and I think it is all part of this illness.I feel that the best thing to do is to talk about it.If you (Cit) or anyone else would like to have a good offload about your worries you can PM me if you like.I think actually talking to people that have the same symptoms as you, that can show empathy is a great help!!I will always listen and be grateful of any help and advice also.You all take care and have a good day.Love P xxx 
Hi pinky ( great name )
I too worry about everything, cit does seem to take the edge off.
I just wanted to say your post was very helpful, knowing someone is out there who knows what ya go through day to day is a great comfort.
Thank you
michele x
Hello All
I have read through all your posts on this string and I have have to say how great it is to hear your experiences and fears and words of comfort to each other.
I too worry all the time, have self worth issues and problems with my employer and family not understanding my illness and most fo the time I feel so alone.
I can tell that my friends, family and work collegues are understanding to a point but they don't really get it... I don't know whether it is the illness but I worry that they think i am making a drama out of it but there are times when things do get so unmanagable that i want to scream... or cry (and i usually do). But you guys actually get it...
I loved the post about Strong people being susceptible to depression.
I am a strong passionate person who is generally known for my large personality, enthusiam and well... Joy...
But over the last couple of years i have lost my joy...
I have become cynical, paranoid, prone to moping and even violence... This had lead to a breakdown in friendships and the threat of loosing my job.
I was on citalopram 7 years ago. At the time I had the same lack of joy-ness as I had fallen out with my family and felt so alone.
Then I met my husband and he gave me my joy back... and reunited me with my family.
We got married two years ago and have been trying for a baby ever since. (I'm welling up just writing this...)
He is an amazing, hardworking and loving man. He has his own rage issues but does not understand my illness and is against me taking antidepressants.
My husband and I want children so much and I completely blame myself that it hasn't happend yet and the illness tell me that he blames me too.
I have been on citalopram for 11 weeks and have recently gone from 10mg to 20mg. I am not feeling any benefit yet but its nice to know there is some light at the end of the tunnnel.
I'm so sorry to go on...
I wanted to commend you all for your support of each other but ended up blathering...
Thank you again for reminding me that there are people out there, who even though they are going through their own life struggles can offer support and encouragment to complete strangers...
Thank you again x x x x x
Hi Eviltwin (i'm sure you are not really)
I was told and have since read that it is the strong that get this illness. The weak would just give up.
Other traits (which i originally thought were positives) are that the group of people that get depression are: thoughtful, good listeners, put others before themselves, kind and caring and to our detriment, worriers.
Unfortunately none of us saw the illness coming and we all took on a little too much hence the position we are in now with a blown fuse that the AD's are slowly repairing. We will get better eventually, others have done it before us. It's just a little hard to believe when the fog surrounds us.
Like a lot of things in life, unless one has experienced it, one cannot fully understand what we are going through.
I've found this site to be a god send. It proves to us all that we are not alone and there are many like minded sufferers out there.
I'm a fluoxetine taker at the moment. This is my first AD and most of the time it is working for me. I've been on it for 5 and a half months now.
Outside factors are always going to contribute to our moods. It's just that on AD's problems are magnified - nature of the beast i'm afraid.
Sharing experiences, fears and questions is what this site is all about, so don't worry if you think you are blathering.
I hope this makes some sort of sense and i'll toddle back to the Cit site soon.
Best wishes. x
hi peeps :cheerup:
this depression lark has nothing to do with being, weak/strong, female/male stuff, it's a real PHYSICAL illness, get a grip, were seriously ill :cry:
if you accept that, the sooner we will get well again, ok :huh: :whistle:
lets do it, nobody else can, but the meds definitely help :wink: :mrgreen:
cheers,
Ken ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :cheers: :rose: