Help please- no energy for basic tasks i.e. Housework

Brain and nerves
1

Hi guys I am looking for advice.

I have sufferered from fatigue for many years but my fatigue became acute 5 years ago after heavy blood loss . I am 31 now . 

I was diagnosed at that point with major depression but I knew it was chronic fatigue. Drs still concentrate on trying to cure my depression but I know my lack of energy levels are to blame (and not the other way round) .

All my test results are fine so I am classed a small having fatigue and depression by dr . But they think its my low moods affecting my energy and not the other way round. 

My problem is that my fatigue is so bad It's such a strain to keep on top of daily tasks . And so depressing when this takes up all my energy . I seem to have weak arms in general.

On a bad day- having a shower and having to lift my arms to wash my (thick) hair completely tires me out and I have to rest after .  

I am taking matters in my own hands now and trying to do some gentle arm exercises to regain strength in them.

My problem is housework. I like by myself and I just haven't got the energy for all the housework . I think about doing it and my body is like 'nope'. I think it is due to my arms feeling weak . And general fatigue . 

So I am in a vicious cycle where my flat is a horrible mess and I am too embarrassed to have people round . Cleaning my body and my clothes and my flat seems like such a massive task with fatigue. 

There is no one socially at the moment to help me . Friends and family are all very busy. My mom tried to offer to help but she was extremely moody while cleaning up and threw away  things I didn't want her to as she was cleaning so fast . And made me feel very bad emotionally . And she also has health problems. So I don't let her and she doesent offer anymore . I don't think she wanted to do It anyway.

I know a whole flat to take care of and living alone is not ideal and makes me depressed but I don't know how to get out of this situation . 

I don't want to move out as I have pets that keep me company. 

All advice would be appreciated please. 

There may be some light at the end of the tunnel as I have recently been diagnosed with some intolerances I was not aware of.. so if I detox these out of my body then it may improve my energy levels . 

2

Hi

Sorry that you are suffering so much and I know how frustrating it is to not be able to do simple tasks, when you feel unhealthy it's nice to at least to have your house in order but not always possible.

I was going to post this in a couple of weeks but thought it may be appropriate for you. A lady put a post on a while ago about a supplement she is taking called 8bioenergy from Australia (they are designed with cfs sufferers in mind). Out of curiosity I had a read through their website and what the ingredients contained and was intrigued.

During my 6 yrs with cfs, I have never really taken any supplements other than iron and vit c as I know in some cases without proper advice your body has to work harder to eradicate these unwanted vitamins rather than giving you benefits.

Anyhow, I was having another bad patch and I took the plunge and have been taking them for a few weeks now and I have noticed a big difference in my energy levels.  Important point though, I am on a pretty clean diet and it is a requirement to be eating as clean as poss in conjunction with them. 

On another note, good to hear you have established your intolerances, when I found out about mine and removed them from diet my symptoms pretty much went but away for 10 months, and still remain a lot less. So hope it works for you too.

Thanks

Sophie

 

3

Hi spiritanimal,

I share your inability to do the 'usual' and have what feels like weak arms some of the time. My issue is more my legs and walking problems. I have a cleaner because I can't manage and I live with family!

I would advise getting someone in to clean but, are you in the UK? If so ring gateway to care. Explain your inability to do things and ask for someone to come and see you to see if they can help with anything. I got the number of a cleaner from there and they gave me advice on community transport too and could maybe give you some help and advice.

Also, ask your gp for a physio referral ask to see a senior practitioner who has experience of cfs/me. You 'll need someone to be with you so they can tell them things you forget. Tell them you have constant fatigue and you worry about your inability to do things.

Ask for a referral to your local CFS/ME service. If all your blood tests are fine and you're feeling so exhausted, then a referral could help. Please be aware there's a waiting list and the blood tests need to be in the last 3 months or you'll have to re test first.

Ask also for a referral to your local mental health service, for some one to one sessions. This is making you feel depressed you have stated and some time being heard by someone and helped to look at solutions for that could be beneficial too.

I know all of this takes time and energy but, hopefully will give you some help. If you can't get family/friends to drive you to appointments, don't be put off by not having the energy to get public transport because hospitals can provide patient transport.

Don't give up hope!

Beverley

4

I can relate to how you feel. My house also looks a total mess at the moment as I've got behind with things but using my energy elsewhere. The way I normally cope when it's so bad is to break all the tasks into very small chunks and just try to do one small bit at a time. For example you could spend 5 minutes tidying, have a goal to clear one small surface, hoover one part of a room, clean a sink., etc. It can be really daunting when faced with what seems like a huge task but if you do very small bits at a time you will get there in the end. Another thing I do is have a small basket which I use to carry things round the house which means less trips moving things about.

I also wouldn't be embarrassed about having friends round as if they are true friends they will be happy to see you and not care what your flat looks like - they might even offer to help tidy up if they know you're struggling.

Your health and happiness is more important than a clean house!!!

5

Hi

Sorry to hear you are having a difficult time. I'm very houseproud but I just can't physically clean anymore, it's a full time job!! I find doing a bit at a time helps to a degree. If you try and do it all in one go it will probably make your symptoms worse in the long run. Do you have the option to pay someone to clean your house maybe once or twice a month?

I know exactly what you mean with regards to family members helping, I was in a similar situation where someone close to me came over to help me clean but expected me to keep up with their pace and they just couldn't understand why I was so exhausted even though I've told them so many times over the years how much I suffer (I'm a couple of years younger than you and I do feel like younger people are expected to have loads of energy all the time but for us it just isn't possible!!)

With regards to intolerances they can make big differences to your tiredness levels. When I was in the process of being tested for coeliac disease I had to eat loads of gluten for 2 weeks and god did it make me feel dreadful. I hadn't realised the effect it was having on me until I ate lots of it. Cutting things out or reducing caffeine and alcohol and sugar can also make a big difference to chronic fatigue.

Hope this may help

6

Depression and chronic fatigue often go hand in hand and as each can cause the other its very hard to determine the root cause. 

However, they are both treatable (to an extent) and whilst like yourself I believe that my chronic fatigue causes my depression, I have found it helpful to engage with treatments for depression such as CBT and anti-depressants. I am currently doing CBT with a specialist in chonic illnesses (on the NHS) and he is helping me to come to terms with my situation, and challenging my unhelpful thoughts. If you can improve your depression it really helps to do things you need to do to help with your fatigue. 

I have also engaged with GET (graded exercise therapy) thru my local hospital physio service with some improvements. 

I assuming your are familiar with the concept of pacing, but it is a really effective tool for maximising what you can do. 

hth

 

7

If your friends are too busy and your mum is chucking stuff away when you don't want her to, I'd suggest getting a friend of a friend to do it once and pay them for it. For exmaple, say it'd take four hours to get your place looking how you wanted it to look, you could pay them a fair wage to do this and then do it yourself after that. I'm suggesting this because I find that it's a lot easier to do things little and often rather than in one big lump. Just the thought of having to do it all at once or having all that stuff to do makes me depressed, but I can manage when I just to little bits here and there.

 

8

Hello

I love finding out about new supplements I haven't tried yet .

I googled the supplement and not sure if the exact one you mentioned came up but ones containing ribose did come up. I recently found out about ribose through this forum but have yet to try it. The person who mentioned it said it gives them a lot more energy. I had forgotten what it was called though so thanks for that smile.

Yep I'm hoping the intolerance thing will help.. I seem to be feeling a little better already. I have some shocking ones (I did an online bio intolerance test ). I am intolerant to tea, chocolate, corn and gluten amongst a couple of others. 

That's great you are feeling lot better and thanks very much for your advice smile 

9

Thanks Beverly that's so helpful. I was wondering if there were any services like that in the UK. Very practical steps of what to do next- that's a great help and much appreciated thanks 

Sorry to hear you also suffer from weak arms / legs etc 

10

I like that idea a lot. Sometimes doing things in little steps really does seem less daunting . That's great advice thank you 

11

I know exactly how you feel bout the coeliac Testing . I had similar severe symptoms . At least we know now that we have that intolerance . 

I don't tend to drink alcohol much anymore but I do have quite a lot of sugar so I need to try and cut down more . Only problem is sugar is such a quick easy energy source smile. 

Sorry To hear you are in the same situation regarding cleaning. I haven't got any spare money right now  to pay a cleaner no , but I could look at that in the future - it would be a great help. Is that what you are going to do? 

12

Thanks for the positivity it's well needed. I think something like physio really would help me . I feel so angry that this hasn't been offered to me before but I guess I am just going to have to take a big breathe and try and explain everything over again with doctors. I think the problem is in the end I believed them that all my symptoms were cause by my depression and maybe inactivity due to the depression but I know this is not true and I need to stand up for myself now and find the strength to do that smile 

Your cbt guy sound great.

I have heard of pacing but I have never had medical help with it. As far as I am aware it is not allowing yourself to get over tired ? 

13

That's definitely  good idea . I haven't got the money to do that at the moment but I may look into doing something like that soon . I don't know if friends / family would help more if I asked more buof I know how busy everyone is and I hate to be a burden . 

It wouldn't definitely help to have a massive tidy up done and would make it easier to look after going forward . Thanks for taking the time to reply to my post it is much appreciated smile 

14

Hi

Yes I think you did look at the right page as there are 14 ingredients and one of which is Ribose but just for clarification the link to the ingredients is https://8bioenergy.com/category/ingredient/page/3/

Apparently they are really good for any cfs sufferers that don't sleep well aswel as helping your body supply energy.

Let us know how you get on after cutting out your offending foods, hope it helps you. 

Best wishes

15

I am in the UK and my GP referred me but I think I could of self-referred to physio. My GP only referred me after asking him to. The NHS is great in lots of ways but I have found that I sometimes have to push a bit to get the referrals I need.  

Sounds like you have the gist of pacing but there is a bit more to it than that. The idea of pacing is to work out a baseline level of activity for each day and to slowly increase that baseline. One problem people with CFS have is that they do too much on a good day and get into a boom and bust cycle. 

So in the context of house work you might decide that 15m a day is maintainable. And each day you commit to doing your 15m and then stop after 15m even if you feel like you have more energy. If after a week you feel you could do a bit more, then increase it to 20m a day. If you have other things on that day that are as tiring as housework then you have a day off housework because you are doing something else. But in general you want to get your overall activity levels constant day 2 day and gradually increase them. 

hth

 

16

That's great advice thank you smile 

I guess it also helps you get into a routine which is good in general. 

Yes you are right . I will pluck up the courage to try and get a gp to refer me . I think it's a combintion of miscommunications . I have just been so tired I haven't Had the energy to try and force referrals if they are not offered . 

Thanks for taking the the time to reply I appreciate it smile 

17

Just wanted to say definitely ask for a referral to cfsme service at the same time. They can also help with resting and pacing and things that could help.

Beverley

18

Dear spirit animal. I had weakness in my arms and legs too.i couldn't do housework or go to work. My family didn't believe I was ill or help me. Drs ketogenic telling me I had depression, one Dr even told me there's nothing wrong with you because your bloods are normal. The drs are truly crap in diagnosing CFS. Insist on seeing a specialist for M.E/CFS,they won't like it, but insist. Once you've been diagnosed,you still won't get much help. I take multi vitamins everyday and iron, vitamin C and zinc. I also changed my diet to a ketogenic diet,cutting out sugar and carbs. And I feel stronger everyday,I still take it slowly, but I'm hoping I'm on the mend. Good luck to you too!