Good Morning Flower1989,
First things first, I think you have done brilliantly to seek help from your GP, so many sufferers (myself included) find it too difficult to take the first step. You should be pleased that you have taken positive steps in the direction of getting yourself better.
Secondly, you are far from alone...this website is amazing and is great at helping those suffering, like me and you, to get better. I recommend you use this site every day if possible just to see if someone has been through what you are feeling/thinking, or to post your own thoughts and feelings as bottling it up is not a great idea. Vent all your frustrations, share your experiences and discuss any side-effects the tablets may give you (if any).
I can see you have been through some very hard times with your ex-boyfriend but have managed to get rid of that negativity so well done again. The next thing I feel you need to combat, if you can, is to either tell your parents or one/two close friends what is going on with you. Be honest and open - its extremely hard but I found it worth while as the more support you can get, the quicker you can potentially recover.
I am in a similar position as yourself when it comes to my friends as I do not trust their reactions if I tell them Im suffering from Depression. When I told brother, he made me worse by saying, \"What have you got to be depressed about, get over it and get on with your life\"......I could have easily slapped him!
You will find that many people don’t understand that we feel this way against our choice, we don’t want to be sad, emotional and depressed but its not easy to convey that to people. The best way to deal with these people is to send them to the Depression website... http://www.depression.com/index.html and tell them to understand the illness before making judgements.
I get the impression that your depression, like mine, is making you feel extremely agitated and as though people are talking about you behind closed doors (whether they actually are or not). It is a horrible feeling but one that you need to block out as ive found 90% of the time people are not actually talking about you at all.....just the brain tricking us.
If you are looking for some real reassurance then Im afraid I cannot offer you that.....these pills react differently in everyone but as long as you take them routinely, try to keep eating normally, avoid alcohol, exercise regularly and do as best you can not to put any pressure on yourself to do things until you are ready - then you will certainly get better.
With regards to counselling, it definitely helps - speaking to someone impartial and professional about your thoughts, feelings and life is great. I have had suicidal thoughts and just telling this to someone who understands was a great weight off my mind. You can tell them anything you need to say, just a chat about your day or to tell them you hate life - they will listen same as those of us on this website will.
Hope this helps in any way - would be great to hear from you soon