Hi
I'm a bit new but been getting hang of this.
Over past few weeks I've been very up & down & my partner really has Bourne the brunt of my tears/ anger/ moodiness/ fear.
I feel like I'm climbing out of this hole but at this point always feel it's a struggle with repairing things & getting back to my happier self to settle & be 'normal' again in relationship. What do others do with partner in the immediate days after a few difficult weeks?
What do you mean? Your partner hopefully is compassionate and helpful and will be patient with you. Sometimes they arent and deny it all as you being over dramatic. Sometimes they find it draining and do not want the reealtiinshio. It all depends on their personalities. Show Them a video on utube of the science of a panic attack. This is a difficult disorder for people to relate too, people just cant really imagine the terror involved.
Hi Julia, Glad your mood is stabilizing. Illness whether physical or mental is not only hard on on the inflicted one but effects partners, families and friends. When out of sorts the focus is on the self. Relationships become unbalanced. It is a credit to you that you have recognized this and want to take effort to make things better. Functional relations are based on mutual
support. You say your partner has bourne the brunt. It would be wonderful of you, if you could validate your parter for this. You might be questioning, well how do I do that? Every one and every relationship has specific issues but in general as a guide: firstly, acknowledge to your partner that you realize as you climb out of your hole how difficult it has been for him/her. Acknowledge that you have been needy and not much fun (however it was for your situation). Secondly, tell your partner how much you appreciate them whether it be tolerating moodiness, anger, sticking with you, providing comforting words etc., what ever it was specific to the special relationship of you and your partner. Thirdly, Let your partner vent a bit if they need to without reacting in kind. Remember that he/she bore your negativity and your goal is to bring back "normal" in the relationship. Fourth, plan with your partner as you become well enoughr to spend quality fun time together doing something you BOTH enjoy. Can be a walk together, movie, bowling, museum, beach,whatever you both enjoy.
Thanks Marina that's great. I guess also - because I am an anxious person! - I worry that there are a few times a year periods like this. I know how hard it is as my Mum was not just an anxious person but also had a lot of anger, manifesting as shouting, verbal & physical abuse. I can recognise and I have made progress but there's no denying my partner finds it very hard. We ve talked about it, I've explained to him, when I'm in those maelstrom of freaking out, what I need. Just a hug really. He is understanding to a point but worries about it.
Hi Lisa that's great thank you. He is v patient but it's not always easy. I find it hard when I can see in a way what's happening/ feeling and most times am ok I have tools to cope with my anxiety but then there are times not x