Here I am again! Struggling.

Is anyone struggling mentally? Is life going to be good again? Not that it's bad. I think hopeless is a better word. I feel like such a hypocrite as I am a woman of faith(meaning I believe in God and I pray). I have NEVER been like this before. I realize this is a another menopausal bump and I'll get over it, but man this is crazy!

Oh friend, hang in there. I just went thru a very hard time too with my mental symptoms. Felt so horrible and hopeless. Dreadfully weepy and scared that i would never come out of it. BUT, you've been here before. And think of the times you were low and came out of it. You will have good days again. Wait patiently and bravely...it will lift.

I too have struggled with my thoughts toward God. Not understanding where He was in my life in the midst of this torture. I highly recommend the book Streams in the Desert. It's a devotional about suffering. I think u will be blessed.

Praying for you today. Reach out when u need to. Big Hugs!

Juanita, if I remember this correctly, you did try HRT but you had some strange negative reactions and quit.  I'm sorry you are feeling so low.  

Just curious, but would you consider rethinking exploring HRT again?  Possibly a different method of delivery?  

Thank you Lisa. It just seems I can't find joy in the simple things like reading a book or watching a funny tv show. I have been low but not this low(I hope this is the lowest I will get).I'm at a turning point in my life where there are lots of good changes coming up and I should be a big ball of positive. Why is this happening to me now, of all times?  You have given me hope that it will lift and I know that.  It's just that when you're in the midst of it, you have to fight so hard to get out of the darkness. I don't laugh much anymore. One of the ladies I work with said I seemed "off" this week, not my usual cheery self.

I will get the book you recommended. Thank you for praying for me and God bless you!

Hello Gailannie. I can't really take HRT anymore because of my fibroids, it bothers them(that's another reason I got off it). HRT, never really helped my moods anyway. My sister had a hysterectomy and was on  Estrace for five years and she felt wonderful. But she was only estrogen because she no longer had her uterus. I have to be on both which makes my fibroids cramp.  She cried when she had to get off her HRT, because she said "how can something that makes you feel so good be bad for you"?

I think I'm just gonna have to ride this out with God and Valium.  I do have some of my Trazodone left, so I may have to resort to cutting it half, and just getting a little in my system(My doctor took me off Trazodone because I felt is wasn't working and put me on Prozac). Two days on Prozac and I was out of my mind, with suicidal thoughts, loose stools, headache, and nausea. I called the doctor, she says keep taking it, the symptoms will go away. I haven't taken the Prozac in seven days, and the Trazodone for nine days.(which apparently was working, especially seeing how I feel now). I think I was having rebound depression from my Trazodone and my dosage just needs to be lowered, I don't know.

Sorry, I know you didn't ask to hear all my crap.  Than you for responding, it always helps me. ((((hugs))).

Juanita, i wish i could take this from you. It's just aweful and so hard to get thru. Can you imagine if all of us ladies got together. It would be quite the pow wow. One thing i find to be true..."a friend loves at a times but a brother is born out of adversity". It's during these hard times that God provides us comfort thru one another. Imagine our struggles without this forum. Without the presence of these wonderful ladies to remind us that we struggle together and are not alone. And God can use even these wretched times. Imagine when we get thru this...we will come out better able to give comfort to others that suffer.

And you are so right, as many times as i have been low I would think that i could remember that it's only temporary when I get low again. But it doesn't happen that way. The tricks it plays on the mind. I need someone to remind me at my low points that i will come out of it. I know it mentally..but not practically. I certainly don't "feel it". I started journaling thru my low points. And then I journal when I come out of it. This has been a source of reminder and encouragement when I hit really hard bumps. I always second guess myself at low points saying "this is the worst, have I never been this low, will I come out of it" journaling helps put those fears to ease a little.

Hang in there...this too will pass. For me fighting it makes it harder. Accepting, resting and waiting eases the panic a little. Big hugs ♥️

Yes unfortunately I have been there and I think the Mental symptoms are worse than the physical… But of course both together are pretty horrible. The only thing that gets me through sometimes besides checking these boards and the support from you wonderful ladies, is knowing that it will pass for sure. I just keep saying that it’s only hormonal and we are fine… Just keep repeating that over and over LOL. In my case no one really knows what I’m going through which is fine, I don’t necessarily want them to so I look do you offer support and understanding. Hugs being sent to you, I promise you will get through this. 

Hi Lisa, me too awful awful no interest all of a sudden..I wishing hoping and praying it all soon lift for me too.

I am postmenopausal and I am not ok. I thought once you reached menopause you would be good to go. Honestly I never even thought about menopause until very recently when I decided to have my hormones checked. I am out of whack . I've been housebound for a couple of years now and mainly living on the couch. I got off antidepressants 2 years ago and have been in a horrible state ever since. Apparently the antidepressants mask hormonal imbalances so now I am completely in the raw and it's incredibly awful. My life has never been smooth as far as circumstances are concerned, but I could sort of navigate through ok. Now my life circumstances are even keeled but it's ME that is out of order. So frustrating. So many things I want to do. I miss participating in life. I totally took it for granted. All my nice clothing just hangs in the closet. I live in my robe. Too uncomfortable else. I am very close to getting onto BHRT. Had to jump through too many hoops which is cruel when you're chronically ill. I'm just a big ball of complaints today. 3 broken hours of sleep just adds to it all. I'm worried today that I have bowel cancer. It could be a bowel hernia. I dunno but I have had it too long for it to be just nothing. Never thought about death in years passed. Now it haunts my mind. Keep trying to tell myself, "You're a spirit having a human experience". . . Doesn't seem to quell my fear of death. Ok, now that my comment has reduced to talking about death, it's time for me to go.

Hugs to all of you brave ladies!!

Hi juanita. I am struggling right along with you today. Even when i get good news or I just simply don't have any reason to be down....I still can't seem to shake the doom and gloom. I know this is a symptom of peri. I just wish it would end. I get exhausted trying to fight it. Maybe accepting it would be better. How old are you? I recite any verses I can remember daily to get through.

Leslie, you are not dying. Almost every woman on this forum has thought they were dying of some disease at one time or another. Yet here we are still alive and kicking.It's your hormonal mind that makes you feel that way. If you have to get back on antidepressants then so be it. Find a good doctor and a good therapist.

We are here, you are not alone.🤗🤗🤗

I am 58. But don't be alarmed. I came to menopause late. I was 51 when my periods stopped. But I had a high level of estrogen that kept my symptoms at bay until 2014. Then the bottom dropped out and I've been going around on this menopausal merry go round ever since.

My favorite quote is "be still and know that I am God". I also read the 23rd Psalm every day. God and you ladies have been my saving grace. Lisa68384 said don't fight it. That makes sense. It reminds me of " this is not your battle, it's the Lords" and "when you are weak I am strong".

Lisa what a wonderful reply. I feel better just reading your post. Yes I fight it, thinking I have to be some type of warrior or how will it ever lift?

I don't have to be the warrior. I can let God do that!

Thank you Amy.🤗🤗🤗 It's just very comforting to know you ladies are here. ❤❤❤❤❤

Juanita, crazy is exactly what it is. You never know what is going to hit you next with this horrid change. But you are right. Lean on your faith to help get you through, I do. Lots of hugs.

Oh my dear leslie, I think you may need to reconsider going back on your anti-depressants. I have also gone through the 'death' syndrome constantly thinking each day is my last. I take HRT and symptoms are improving slowly but surely. I cant take anti-depressants as I had 10 years on paroxitine after the suicide of my 2nd husband. They surpressed so much and when I began to get long term use side effects I got off them and so many feelings that had been bottled up inside came flooding out. I am recovering from that thanks to my new man and my youngest son aswell as some good friends on this forum. REMEMBER WE ARE ALL HERE FOR YOU ANYTIME, ANY PLACE, ANY WHERE . you will always be able to find one of us. Big cuddles to you hun and dont give up, this wont last forever!

Here's a snipit from the book "streams in the desert". I wish i could buy you ladies each a copy...it's that good! There is a free app..just look up streams in the desert in app store. It's also on audible and on Amazon. It's full of hope and courage for those of us who are at our ends wondering where God is in the midst of all this. I was so upset with God when all this began. I didn't understand where He was in the midst of my pain. I prayed and it was as if my prayers were ignored my heaven. The more I begged and pleaded the more deafening the silence from God. This book gave me a different perspective. God can use our pain in ways we never dreamed IF we surrender it to Him and stop fighting. I wanted my pain GONE....NOW!! I wasn't willing to endure WITH Him. Hard stuff I know. I am still learning 😊 when the rough days and weeks of mental symptoms hit...i struggle. He can give us a purpose in the midst of it, which can keep up looking ahead and up.

"The right thing is simply to trust God, for while we trust, He can work. Worrying however, prevents Him from doing anything for us. If the darkness covering us strikes terror in our hearts and we run back and forth, seeking in vain to find a way of escape from the dark trials...then the Lord cannot work on our behalf.

There are many blessings we will never obtain if we are unwilling to accept and endure suffering. There are certain joys thst can come to us only thru sorrow. There are revelations of God's divine truth and love that we will only receive when the lights of earth have been extinguished. And there are harvests that will grow only once the plow has done it's work.

We must place our hand in His as a little child and allow Him to lead us into the bright sunshine of His love. He only knows the way out of the dense, dark forest, so may we climb into His arms, trusting Him to rescue us by showing us the shortest and most reliable road..."

Yes juanita you are not alone. I am struggling mentally too. I have not been on this forum for awhile because i was doing so much better, and BOOM! symptoms hit again full blast and my mentality it has gotten to me. I have prayed and cried out to God so much its like i have no tears left. I know God hear our cries , prayers and feel our pain. Because everyday I ask him to give me strength, and he does, because my strenght alone can not get me through this. The verse i love to meditate on is "The joy of the Lord is my strenght". I think God gives the most heavy crosses to the strongest people to carry, but as long as we're together in this then we can help.each other carry those crosses. Be encourage my sister in Christ you are not alone , you dont have to carry it by yourself. I thank God for you ladies and this forum.❤

Hi ladies

Lisa I have the book streams in the desert and I am also a Christian 

I’ve been in Peri ten years long story but I am on other threads about my hemithyroidectomy surgery in August which brought on a period after 13 months

Recently I’ve been diagnosed with arthritis in my spine

Constant pain and stiffness 

To cut a long story short I had to resign from my job as a community carer last week 

I don’t know if I’m losing the plot or if something actually is wrong but I keep feeling like my tongue is swelling and my throat is closing up

My tongue isn’t any bigger than usual 

I wake up in the night choking and I have had this before 

Now I’m constantly focused on my tongue and throat and feel like I’m obsessing 

Yes I know this sounds crazy

I’m scared to go to sleep 

What is this?

Has anyone else suffered this strange symptom 

Hugs to all x

Hi leslie95604,

Interesting how your posting starts out by saying you thought once you were in menopause you would be okay. You see this on the boards a lot. "Oh, I can't wait until this peri is over and I hit menopause". I think for most women that is when things get really ugly. I too thought this is going to be a breeze after 10 years of peri symptoms. Couldn't wait for periods to finally end. When they did end, it took less than three months to see the signs of aging and other issues, mentally and physically really kick in. Some women report still having hot flushes and other problems into their 70's. This is not what I wanted for the remainder of my life. I see you are thinking of BHRT. I've been on bio's for over two years. Took care of any issues I was having from not sleeping to hot and freezing cold issues, to lubrication issues and my overall well being. I don't feel like I'm in menopause at all. Getting a good dr is key that know what their doing. Checks labs regular and adjusts prescriptions based on symptoms and labs. You can feel better if it is done properly, Your right about the anti depressants masking the symptoms. Its tricking your brain that you feel better when the problem is still there, lack of hormones. BTW, I am on estrodial, estriol, testosterone and progesterone transdermal creams. I will be on them for the rest of my life.  Good luck.