last week got told dad my have cancer and this as knocked me for six but my husband as totally lashed out at me saying how selfish I am crying over it as I never have the time to visit my parents . I no I should visit more but am always so knackered after work I dont .i work from 7.30 -6 Monday to Friday and have a nine year old to look after and feed after work . He's said some really unforgivable things today and not sure what to do now as my head is full of mixed emotions and now feel guilty for feeling sad about dad .i no my dad nos how much I love him and would never think of me as bad but now it's been said I dont no were to go with it or why my husband would say such cruel things. And my poor baby girl was there to and I haven't had the heart to tell her yet about dad being ill .my problem is I always bottle things up as my husbands not one for talking as he see this as weakness
First of all how would your husband feel if it was his dad he should show you sympathy and caring if not directly to you he has to for his child because it is gonna be tough for her and you if I was you I would take some holidays and go see you're dad take your little girl leave your husband at home and he can relflect on what he has said and for his information week people never talk because they feel vulnerable and scared strong people talk because they dont mind feeling vulnerable and can speak to people they can trust and open up dont worry about your husband take care of your little girl because it can be a long road for your dad and he is the one who is gonna need support from his family
Thanks Jason you maybe right think I do need some time off work I carnt carry on like this much longer . I know I need to be strong for my dad a little one i am just struggling with his words there stuck in my head
Dont worry about what he has said just take care of yourself and your daughter he will know he is in the wrong and it will be up to him to put it right if you allow him to take time for yourself it is going to be a tough time if you just need a chat pm me we all have issues and problems on here but we all help each other please take care
Thank you
we all have to go sometime so I should not feel guilty about your parteners comments. I'm sure you and Dad have a good relationship. Try and spend some quality time together before it is too late. You never know his cancer may be cured with treatment. So all is not lost.
Take care
Richard
Your husband is a control freak and he was looking to make you feel bad because he had the tool and the power to do it!
Don't listen to his little man words you know how much you love your dad and thats all that matters. Your dad understands why you are not around as much the same your dad understood why he was not around as much for his parents. the truth of it is we move along in life and we no longer need to hangon to the child within us and seek out our parents every five minutes.
All you need to know is your father loves you unconditionally and you love him the same and no amount of seeing him changes that.
You will probably need to be around him more so in later days as he will need his family more at this time. dont rush in to telling your daughter wait for her to ask questions first then it will make more sense telling her at the right time, why worry her little mind with things she wont understand yet.
As for your husband, tell him what he said was dispicable and dont be afraid to stand up to him. you are the mother of his child and the women he said he loved when he committed to you make him respect you because if its left unsaid he wont! Don't worry kerry you will get through this and you have nothing to feel guilty about. Your a hrad working mum and by the sounds of it a very good mum to even consider your daughters feelings when there are so many worries of your own so chin up honey you always have friends here to listen if you need.
As much as I do not condone yours husbands verbal abuse, especially in front of your daughter, but how is he coping with the news? I know that sounds strange & some would say 'its not his dad!' but that kind of news can affect individuals in different ways. Communication is a civil & positive tone can go a long way; if he is looking for an arguement just simply say, 'i'm not here to argue, I'm here to talk'.
its a good point, sometimes we can let our emotions get the better of us i was really angry at him for what he said to her but truth be told its a typical selfish behavior of a persons ego trip to make one feel small at such a time.