bang. suddenly its all gone bad. got that awful dick feeling again like i cant breathe or bare to think... its too unbearable. I'm completely alone..i don't belong anywhere...no one to care about...no one to come home to...and I cant imagine ever having that. in every sense i feel abnormal.
Hi k8861, are you ok now? Really sorry only just spotted your post. Is there anyone you can contact at all. If it gets too much contact the Samaritans and see if you can seek advice. Good luck, contact back if you need us again.
Hi k. I feel for you the same has happend to me I was doing great until suddenly that overwhelming sense of doom came back that darkness is reappearing. Do you not have any family and friends around you can talk to? I know it’s not the same but feel free to inbox me if your needing to chat as I too am feeling like no1 truly understands what I’m going through unless they suffer themselves. Leanne
Your post resonated with me because I’m in another horrible downward spiral too. It feels like hell, like nothing will ever feel ok again, that there really is no hope of ever coming out of it. I get it, truly.
The thing keeping me going at the moment is that I’ve felt this way several times in the last few years. Just as hopeless, just as alone. But each time, things did eventually start to improve. OK, I still wasn’t dancing on the tables with joy, but the depression was manageable, just. So the likelihood is that this spiral will eventually start to turn upwards too. I’ve just got to do whatever I can to ride it out.
I really hope that you can too.
Hi Lucy, how long does it usually take for you to get back on track?
please make sure you just take one day at a time, tomorrow has enough trouble for itself.
Medication certainly works and helps you build resilience. I would say and certainly true for me, is for the many people (and there are a vast number) who are vulnerable to depression, then a harder shell is needed which comes through periods of endurance through suffering - these things are in your character if you let them grow but it means doing stuff you don’t want to do when you are in pain, but at least stretch yourself a little
For me it can be anything from a week to a couple of months. This one has been since new year and is particularly bad. Maybe I’m kidding myself that it will get better but experience has shown me that so far, every time it’s got better again. I’ve even written it on a bit of paper that I can read in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep and just want to disappear.
Bless you… I to am struggling at the moment I’m on my way down. Hoping it’s just a blip and I get over it quickly.
To the 2 people struggling on here, after being burgled over new year, hearing my sister was burgled just before Xmas, hearing only 2 weeks ago that my brother-in-laws parents died within 4 days ago (the same one who was burgled and had presents and his car taken) to now get a letter to say to due to rent arrears i am threatened with court action after spending last year exceptionally poorly. I am still waiting for a coeliac screen too. Some days i could jump i am in z job with children which reminds me that i have none. I still have to have counselling for rape and some days i don’t want to get out of bed. I feel i have failed my life,my marriage, my nuclear family, my wider family and my church. I want to mostly be with my dad nowadays and he is dead. Make of that what you will because now i feel very embarrassed! Sorry but something just set me off.
Have you got some good support around you? Someone you can talk to?
I’m so sorry things are so hard. Sometimes life just throws far too much at us. But you’ve failed nobody. None of this is your fault.
You mention a church? I don’t have a faith but I know many people find comfort and help from their church communities. Have you sought support from your church? And of course from your doctor?
Yes I’m lucky enough to have support although I still feel very alone but I suppose that’s the nature of the beast.
I’m sorry i’m not doing well at the moment. I have failed my church so feel unwanted there now, my doctor knows how i feel of course, i just have so much on and am again trying to please everyone again. Hopefully my counsellor is there this week, he’ll put me back together.
Sorry you’re all feeling so rotten, I’m feeling the same,find if I treat myself to something it helps just a tiny bit - like I’m going forward and not backward May God help us all and give us strength.
So sorry you’re feeling this way. As abnormal as you may feel, you’re definitely not! Millions of people suffer and feel the same as you so you’re not alone in that. I feel exactly the same, been convincing myself I’m strong enough to deal with it as I have done so many times but today I realised pretending it will all be okay has actually made me feel so much worse. I despise my job, so draining having to put up this pretence everyday, I just want to be able to handle things rationally. I completely understand that feeling of darkness. It’s like it consumes your mind and body but it won’t always be there. You’ve gotten through it before and you will again. Just don’t put too much pressure on yourself, sometimes you just have to let it run it’s course and you’ll come out the other side - only concern yourself with the things you have control over and let the rest go. You have our support always x
I can seriously relate. Do you feel isolated, or like your just not yourself at all?
My main trigger is no one caring, until I realise that so many people do. People have a funny way of showing they are there. So many people are uneducated in how to spot the signs that someone is not ok… This is why we need to be vocal about this kind of this- however cringy or upset that makes you. This forum is a good start. Not only do you WANT to feel normal, but writing your feelings down can help to release tension in your mind. Tell someone when you’re at your lowest. Find someone to vent to, even if they don’t offer the best advice.
When I’m at my worst I call as many people as possible, and even if they don’t say what I want them to say, it calms me down eventually.
I know it seems like absolutely no one understands because really, no one completely does. Everyone is different, don’t forget that. You’re not alone.
I am the same. I have had lifelong depression but fortunately it is mainly mild. There are times though that I go downhill very quickly, but have learned that eventually things return to ‘normal’.
I think it’s called dysmy (something) or double depression. x