I have been diagnosed with OCD intrusive thoughts for some years now, it started off when I was 17 I would get thoughts that I was a lesbian it just never felt right, then there were lots of violent thoughts and I thought I was a murderer.
One day they turnt sexual, pretty disturbing but yeah, I wondered if I was attracted to family members and then I was scared that I was a pedophile. Of course I hate these thoughts I don’t want them and I don’t enjoy them.
They have gotten much much better over the years I must say, but what is so annoying is that if I have a sexual thought about a child or a family member within that vivid image they are enjoying what is going on! Which brings me a lot of stress and anxiety! I don’t know why my thoughts are lkke this???????? It’s really weird and scary and disgusting and horrible and I do hate myself for it.
I guess I am just wondering why they portray like this? Like why are my thoughts about children and family members and why are in the vivid images are they enjoying it, when obviously it’s disgusting!
I’m sorry for giving so much information but it’s driving me crazy and I’m just depressed again about it, I don’t want to live life like this I hate it, please can someone explain or help? I’m really panicky at the moment and I’m just scared.
Can I just say that I never ever want to do this! I don’t enjoy the thoughts at all!
I can empathise with the intrusive thoughts. Not t necessarily the same as you but once my mind is set on something it sticks and I then think even more strange and sinister things which stresses me away it a lot.
Not sure if you have been to a doctor or psychologist yet but I honestly would recommend it just so your u can work through those thoughts otherwise you will worry yourself sick.
Yeah I’ve been through all the therapies and seeing psychiatrists and psychologists and I’m on medication which I can really say those combined have really really helped me. But I do get my bad days and I suppose this is one of them
Hiya, u mentioned uve been through therapies and psychologists, wat do they actually do, I.e. the process and techniques they go through with these thoughts, cuz im very anxious about it as im still waiting for my cbt sessions (theres a long waiting list). And im also suffering from intrusive thoughts and ocd and I need help ASAP. Is it helpful and effective?
Sorry you are going through this. I know exactly how torturous it is.
Here’s what I learned during my experience with this, your OCD is based entirely in fear and control. So it will focus on something you fear the absolute most and you will “test” your control within that. Have you ever noticed that you don’t generally have these thoughts about things/people you don’t care about? It’s always those close to you. The root of your fear is the loss of those relationships. So your mind will throw you a curveball like, what if this isn’t OCD and I am actually into this? That’s why there is the “test” of them enjoying it.. it’s your mind throwing out what ifs. Its your fear of these what ifs that keeps it going. You need learn to accept the thoughts and not fight them.
It sounds completely insane but at some point I just had to tell myself ok, I am a crazy killer and someday I am going to l harm my dog. I let go of the control part as well as my emotional reaction. It took a long time but gradually I lost the fear of it and it went away completely. You will get there. Don’t beat yourself about backslides abd bad days either!!
Hi, what they do is they talk with you about your thoughts and stuff and then they give you techniques to kind of stop them. The thing that they say the most is to accept the thoughts because if you are resisting them the more they are going to come. It was very hard for me at first but it did get better. One of the techniques that worked for me was to not give the thoughts any air time. So for example, if I had a horrible sexual thought about children, I wouldn’t think about it I would just cut it off and move on to something else, I would just say to myself ‘yeah you’re a pedophile’ then move on. With ALOT of practice this did eventually work for me. It is extremely hard at first but with medication and therapy it did help me a lot and I got better. Of course you are going to have the days where it will hit you hard the most but you have to try and focus on the good days and not the bad. It is a lot of practice and I didn’t think I would get there but I did, you just have to be patient and with time it will get better! Let me know how it goes