How can i tell if i’m depressed

Mental health
1

Hi, 

Firstly i find this whole thing hard to explain and be open about but i have been doing a lot of research about how i have been feeling recently and everything seems to point at the possibility that i could be mildly depressed. 

I’m unsure if this is the case and i wanted to explain a bit to a person instead of an online test that could be biased in the way of telling me i need to speak to a professional in favour of safety. 

Basically i’m 34 years old and would say i have done a lot in my life compared to the average person. I come from a very proud and male orientated family so talking about emotions is and always will be a bit of a taboo subject. I had always been a very active person with plenty of hobbies and a good social life. Things started to change around 5 years ago after i lots a father to a long cancer battle. His death pushed me in to the family business which i knew nothing about and this was a largely stressful time which took my mind away from grief. I had a lot of support from a new girlfriend at the time which was a welcome distraction but this only went so far. Since then the family business went through a liquidation leaving the family and me personally in a lot of financial difficulty. The last few years have been nothing but a stressful challenge. It has gone on for so long i now feel lost within myself. I am regularly a ball of stress and anger, I have no interest in being active or even wanting to leave the house unless i am distracting myself. Im a strong minded person and when i put my mind to something i can achieve a lot but lately i lack motivation to even get up because i struggle with sleep. I feel like a constant failure and i let down to everyone around me. Its resulted in me now having nothing or no one and pretty much at rock bottom. I’m having a surge of emotions that i’m not really sure what to do with and have been for some time that i just keep buried. I’m angry at myself for even feeling these emotions as it feels weak. 

I have always viewed stress and depression as not a real problem but i know that my personality has now totally changed to what it used to be. My lust for life and fun has gone. I use constant work and drink to distract myself from everything and at this point when everything else has give i’m worried about whats left to go.

Advice please

2

Hi everybody has emotions and needs to feel them even men otherwise you can't have a rich satisfying life.  It's certainly not a weakness.  I know it's very tempting but the worst thing you can do is push your emotions down.  You need to learn to feel them and how to deal with them so I think counselling would help you a lot. 

Oh and I will leave you with one little fact.  The most common cause of death in western civilisation for men aged between 25-40 is suicide.  All those poor men who think having feelings is weak and refuse to talk about them to others.  Don't let your upbringing and male ego get in the way of a much happier life.  x