I recently found i have genital herpes after going to the doctors, at first i presumed my now ex boyfriend had give it me before reading about it. I feel so ashamed and dirty and don't know how to deal with it. My ex accused me of been unfaithful and called me all the names under the sun. Which of course made me feel worse. I know i wasn't but how do i know he wasn't? Id been single for a year and half and not shown any signs before gettimg with him we split for 2weeks and i ended up stupidly sleeping with him again and then found i had this, i just feel like it won't get any easier I've done nothing but cry since i found out after reading what problema it can cause in pregnancy and future relationships the worst part about it is that the sexual health clinic i have to go to is where is mum works and no doubt hes made me out to be the bad person. The doctor said she can't do all the tests there because that not as accurate cause they take longer to be tested??? Confused! Yet more embarrassment to come!
Sounds like to me it's possible he slept with someone on your 2 week split and maybe gave it to you. People who blame you and call you names are usually the guilty ones. And shows how their true character is. Having this does suck but you can't let it ruin your life.. It is what it is and its not going away, so stressing about it is useless. You just have to come to terms with it and move forward. It doesn't define who you are. Super common and it's what happens when your sexually active. Consequences. No need to feel dirty, people are going to responsed back to you the way you talk about it. If you wanna say I know it's disgusting and it's horrible blah blah they are gonna be like scared and feel weird. Just say I have herpes, and you either can deal with it or not. If someone truly cares about you it won't phase them.... It's really not that horrible of a thing... Ways to manage it. So everything you can and move forward
If you are still having your first outbreak, you can do the IgG antibody test now. If this is a new infection, you will test negative until enough antibodies have formed. That's what I did to prove that I never had it before and in order to pinpoint my giver and who I needed to notify.
As for coming to terms with having herpes, that's a very individual thing. Not easy for most people, but you just have to accept that that's what you have, try best to manage it, if necessary, and continue like before as much as possible. If you have Type 1, then it's barely an issue, imo. Your ex should do the IgG test as well.
The thing is hes still showing no symptoms after sleeping with me so surley he would have it now? So isn't he likley to have it before if hes still showing no signs?
He could be an asymptomatic carrier, or has symptoms so mild that he hasn't attributed it to herpes yet.