Hope everyone is doing ok and managing their problem. I have just come on to think out loud really and see if anyone can relate/advise...
I work for a construction company and needless to say there is a drinking culture ingrained into i. Somebody leaves..Drinks. Project comes to completion...Drinks...you get the picture!
This friday is a big one. A popular character is leaving, its the first summer social and theres a few birthdays, mine included but I am keeping it under wraps.
My problem is that I am worried that if I go I will get the most drunk and do something embarrassing or even worse.
The last time we went for drinks something really bad happened, although i had left the party by then and i think (hope) i have managed to get away with it. I cannot risk it again though.
If I stop going to these things though i risk isolating myself. I only have my collegues as friends as my other friends live miles away and I don't want to seem weird. Also though I know if i get to drunk i risk alienating them and I don't want that either. The simple solution is to not get too drunk, but if that was really an option i doubt i would be on this forum.
Drink shandy, half and half on a standard lager. If someone pulls you up on it, tell them you are on medication and shouldn't be drinking. But you wanted to celebrate a bit without upsetting your doctor.
HI Tre. Great that you are being honest and I will repeat RHGB's reply and try to drink weaker beer or shandy or perhaps you are having stomach problems and cannot drink wine or whatever you normally...not easy but try it!! Robin
tre ....I think the only answer right now is NOT TO GO FRIDAY. You have a DRS appointment remember? LOL...one you can't miss.....
Yes, it is a big day...but it is a big RISK for you at this time.
I'm curious as to what your current drinking status is? Have you stopped?
Are you on Naltraxone or anything else?
It really doesn't matter what the status is....but I just want to know.....it doesn't matter because you KNOW this is a bad situation for you at this time and if you go...it is bad for you....
you are not going to be isolating yourself for LIFE...just for that one day.
I think you may be right with regards to friday but will see how the next few days pan out. There's talk of going out for food beforehand so could maybe go for that then leave.
Food is always good and many times would curb the craving for a drink for me...but that doesn't work that way for everyone.
I really think you shouldn't go.....and don't feel bad about it....its better for you not to go....and you are the one that has to walk in your shoes and have the hangover or the ramifications of becoming out of control.
Trust me....all friends scatter when needed the most.....so worry about #1...no one else will.
I can relate to how tre is feeling and I don't know if it is men that are different or if it is just that woman seem to be more open about talking about their problems. There are SOME men that are open and if in this situation their friends would encourage them NOT to drink.
When I quit 8 years ago there were work functions and because I had told everyone that I was struggling with alcohol...I recieved understanding and at one particular function...I received understanding and alot of questions - some which made me feel others wanted to be like me and be able to sustain drinking at functions. I felt proud of myself.
That one party I went to I told them I wanted to try (but I was completely sober and happy about it).....and I told them I would probably leave early and not to take it personally but it was to protect my sobriety.
When I arrived I went to the bar and ordered my own soda with lemon. No one at the table had a drink yet. So when drinks came around...I was not needing one.
TRE,,you could order a non alcoholic drink that looks like your drink too.
After about an hour when I started feeling "sad" that I couldn't drink....I left. Everyone I had told was "glad" I was leaving.
Being me....not necessarily a woman....I had alot of support because everyone was aware of the problem. I think it is all our personality.
not so much that Tre is a man...but he apparaently is not the open type and MOST MEN are not going around spewing their problems to their friends...And his personality is not going to change SO....he has a big decision to make....Go and get thru it or AVOID it.
If I were him I would not go. Only cause he hasn't formed a support with any of the people that will be there.
Well mate seems like they have forgotten you and got wrapped up in their own stuff. Never mind, go down the pub, l guess it's tough but you, can survive. l read something the other day. But before l tell you that what it is, ask yourself, who runs your life them or you?
The British high jump champion was told by her manager it's all Mind Games.
I have deleted the off topic conversation and comments going on in this discussion. If users want to discuss the male drinking culture etc you can start a new discussion.
When posting try to remember users come here for advice and taking discussions into off topic debates or taking over their discussions will only succeed in discouraging users to post. If anyone has any questions send me a PM and do not reply to this otherwise it will go off topic again.
TRE!!!! Today is the day! If you go...remain strong...remember you have bronchitis or something and are taking medicine you can't drink on...or you have to leave early for an appointment....OR AT BEST.
Must admit, I always found it easier not to go sometimes. Couple of shandies and say you're on medication tends to stop people commenting and fobs them off. Easier for women to blame a diet and don't want to exceed slimming world syns!! Yes I have spelt 'syns' correctly!