How do I support someone who feels guilty over a close family member's death?
Today my uncle commited suicide, my Mum was trying to help him feel better after a divorce, although he got to this stage. My Mum tried to help and feels she didn't do enough. I want to know how I can make sure this doesn't become a permanent guilt problem, as I know a life long guilt issue can be devestating and could ruin our family.
Not sure if anyone has advice, thanks for replies in advance.
Hello. Im sorry for your loss. The only thing you can do is be there for your mother. Make sure she knows that she did everything she could and it was not her fault. Its hard, but thats the only thing you can do
id say try to collect as much information about the divorce, how bad things were to show her that he did that over the divorce, not her. Maybe he didn't want to face society after the divorce, or fear of not out finding somebody else. I think if you and other family members show her how bad things were before she talked to him, it's going to show her she has nothing to do about that. Or maybe she should see a grieving counseler. I wish you and your family the best.
Yeah, well the close family got together and supposedly she's already feeling better. Hopefully they'll remove the guilt that they "didn't do enough" from each-other. Thank you for your kind words.
So do I. I hope that everything works out for your family and you get over this. I have lost family before so i know that you dont truly get over it. God Bless.
What she is going through is 'natural'... and her feelings of guilt because she 'didn't do enough' will come and go from time to time...they won't completely go away...(been through this myself and know of others that have) ...but it gets to the point where its all handable and manageable... That is a promise... If she should continue to worry, you might suggest that she talk with a therapist, short term...(as opposed to a religious figure because then you might have another whole ball game to contend with)... You are a good person, Oli, to show this loving concern. Truly, all will be well... just reassure her that her feelings her 'natural' and will subside...Bless you all.
Hi Oli - so sorry to read of your uncles suicide. Something that should be made clear is that if someone really wants to take their own life, there is nothing anyone can do to stop them. Your Mum did what she could, and she is not responsible for the decision your uncle made. Counselling would be a good idea if Mum does not ease back into her old self again. Take care of yourselves, suicide is a challenging reality in this life.
Thank you for the kind words, I hope the guilt does fade away, but its only a natural thought and I even struggle to sleep at night even though I didn't know about any of the depression he had. I can't imagine what it's like for her
I agree, but I can't say that to my Mum. That will probably make it worse, I'll have to just hope she realises that she tried and that is better than nothing.