Hi soon I'll go to another psychiatric clinic where they'll have to do all those tests with me again and maybe this time over do find that I have ADD and put me on meds, but my mom says even if, that it's not a problem cos we'll search for another specialist who can diagnose me AND prescribe me meds... But right now I find it so hard to cope. I have suicidal thoughts and feelings, the last meds we tried out didn't work (Seroquel) I'm in a psychiatric ward where I feel pretty much treated like a pig ("I don't care if you take your meds or not, it's my responsibility to give them to ya") I have pretty much no friends, I mean, there are some people but still.. I am just realising stuff about my last exam, for example that he actually kinda raped me once, I feel so out of it, like I cannot communicate with people, even the few people I have, I feel a bit alienated from them and I don't know what to do. Things don't feel really fun to me. I would very much skip this part to the part where I get meds and they work, but even that is not a given, maybe they won't work, maybe I don't have ADD and will just continue staying in wards. My life is on halt now, I haven't gone to school for more than a month since my nervous breakdown and since then only the thought of going back (which I no longer think) sends me to hyperventilation.. So I have to do something else for now, learn some job or sth but I don't know what I wanna and can do, also I have kind of a fear of peope now, it's not very rational...So it feels like I'm barely surviving, even if there's some hope it doesn't feel like it can get me through these days.. I feel tired...do you have any suggestions...?
Hi hikiaru
We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologies for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.
If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The Samaritans offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.
Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet here: Dealing with Suicidal Thoughts: Where to get help, which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need.
If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you’re going through and will be able to help.
Kindest regards
Patient
I do email the Samaritans regularly. I don’t really feel comfortable with speaking right now.