hi, I am trying to work up the nerve to go with the surgery. Been so scared. My husband will be the one helping watch our little ones while I undergo the operation. I have 3 large internal stage 3/4 hems and a tight sphincter. How long should he plan to take off to help me before I will be able to resume normal routine of caring for our kids? When with the pain be manageable?
Hi Barb
Honestly i thought id be only down for a week or two as the doc said.. Well im now on my 7th week 44 days today.
Still having painful bm. And pain last for hours after. Plus still have hemroids...
Every one is different. Many recover within two weeks. Some not so lucky like me.. And i am in fairly good health for my age. But this obviously does not matter.
Just be sure to take a fiber supplement daily actually start now.. I take Re Store A Lax. No taste no grit..n drink 2 to 3 liters of water a day.. This will keep stool soft..
Be sure to have epson salts for sitz bath n buy some diaper rash cream.. I just bought some as the prescription creams im using dont seem to ease the pain or itch as well as the diaper creams do. I have Zinncofax.. Works good so far.
Good luck n word of advise.
If your hemmies are not painful just put up with them.
This pain is horrible.. And your in for a slow long recovery..
Wish i had seen this forum before i went ahead with it and I personally wouldn't have done it.
Too late now for me though..
Good luck. Heal fast n get plenty of rest.
I took just under 2 weeks off work and to be honest , I could have done with at least another week . My husband took 5 days off ( our children are grown up ) and I'm glad he did . I'm 5 weeks post surgery today and even though I feel so much better than I did a few weeks ago , I'm still on that slow road to recovery . To be honest , if you're not in that much pain and they don't bother you , don't go through with the surgery . I've had external haemorrhoids and skin tags for years and had one flare up this year so decided to go and see someone about them as they were thrombosed. By the time my surgery date came around 2 months later they had settled down and were no bother . This recovery has been so much worse than any of the problems I had before and if I had known just how I would be after surgery , I would never have had it done . I still have pain , burning , itching , aching post bowel movements that last for hours after and it seems I still have a couple of small haemorrhoids and an open area that I believe was where the large skin tag was . I wish you all the best if you go ahead and a speedy and comfortable recovery
Go for Laser Surgery it will be less painful and recover quickly otherwise traditional surgery might take 1 month al least all depends on bowel movements.
Hi - ive Just hadn’t two internal removed and a large external Skin Tag with stitches. I’m now on day 12 and I am still having help look after a 3 yr old. I can manage for a few hours with her at home if she can play by herself or watch a film, but I can’t sit on the floor with her and sitting at the table is uncomfortable as our dining chairs are wooden.
I’d say give yourself at least two weeks before you’re caring for young children again by yourself.
I would recommend the surgery though, it’s unbelievably painful (the first two poo’s were like giving birth again, then after that it was like a freight train of razor blades and now it’s just small razor blades which are dulling each day) but it does improve and the end result will be loads better. As long as you are sensible with what you eat and can spend the first week lying down to rest with a regular bath.
Days 3-6 are the worst coz you start to poo again after being cleared out for surgery but there’s been a definite turning point since day 8 and now it’s a gradual daily improvement over time.
Good luck, I hope it works out for you.
I just had my surgery 6 days ago. My husband only took off 5 days including surgery day, so only 4 days after surgery. Yesterday was my first day alone with all 3 of my kids. You (thankfully) were sick that they couldn't go to school, because I was in no position to drive. And my husband had to leave work early to come home and help me. I managed on my own for most of the day, but I barely remember it because I was in and out of consciousness. And by 4pm I was shaking in pain because I hadn't taken a narcotic the whole time. My doctor told me by 1 week I should be able to resume my normal routine. And I just don't see that happening. While recovery hasn't been as bad as I expected reading here, it certainly is worst than what my surgeon said. And honestly I feel like a pre-requisite to do the surgery in someone, they should have to do it and deal with recovery. Because I was not prepared by my doctor for this crap.
How long should your husband take off wth a kid at home. 2-3 weeks is possible. No less than two weeks.
I am so sorry for what you have been through! What was it like prior to surgery? Did you develop new hemorrhoids or did the doctor not remove them all???
My hemorrhoids have been painful and it is hard to stand for any long length of time! I also get spasms and I THINK that is from the hemorrhoids but I havent been sure. I tried a Pelvic Floor Therapist and she said I was tight but the problem hasn't resolved.
Thanks for sharing that info. I am so torn and SCARED! Were all of your hemorrhoids external? What do you do for pain after your bowel movements now?
Did you do laser surgery? I have looked and looked- all the colon-rectal surgeons here in PA seem to use the traditional method. I am not sure if there are doctors in PA that do the laser for hemorrhoidectomy's? Do you have any other info about it? I saw the one place in Arizona but I didn't know if it was legit or a hoax.
Thanks for the info!! I am glad you are passed the worst!! I have had the bandings done for the internals and I thought that was painful and kept me up at night so I am just really worried. But these internal hems have been altering my life so much- I can hardly stand long, forget day trips with the family, even grocery shopping for an hour is so painful and by the end I am hardly able to walk to my car. What were your hems like before hand?
i Just hope if I go with the surgery it will solve the problem. I have spasms I think and sometimes if I stand too long I feel like I need to have a bowel movement even if I dont- and then if I sit I feel better. I am 33. This is ridiculous and I need my life back! I want to enjoy life!
Thanks for your advice. I am so sorry for what you are going through. How bad were your hems before hand? I sure hope you are past the worst. I have seen SO many colon rectal surgeons- most of them act like the surgery is nothing. The one I am seeing now wants me to try to keep banding to try to improve them- but I have done over 6 bandings! And My symptoms have not improved. I am glad the recovery hasn't been as bad as your read. These forums are horrific and I feel like I have no idea how I am going to get through this!!
I had same issues as me4444
These new roids came two weeks after. I went to walk in clinic first week to get more meds. Doc there had a look said he did a good job. Then went to emerg two weeks later as meds were not helping with pain..
They also said he did a good job. Third week back in emerg with pain 24/7 like I've never felt in my life.. Doc there couldn't touch me.. I was so swollen n had hemrroids plus skin tags come about.. Still have then today going on 7 weeks today. Very painful. Need more meds so will see family doc today and appt to see surgeon on Thursday.. I have no idea where the pain is initially coming from. But its not getting any better. I don't think im healed inside yet as well. How can one heal when they have a bm daily..
Plz reconsider this. Try the baby cream to see if they settle down n do sitz baths 2 to 3 times daily..
I feel your pain and from this experience it did not go so well with me.. A lot of pain n suffering more so now then before i had this surgery.
Take care and I pray you get through this.
Yes I did 2 weeks ago. I am from India, so I am not sure where to find but you can google. I will says pain was minimal or no only during BM and if you take stool softener than it will be very less.
Wow they sound bad. Mine were nowhere near that bad. My main issue was the Skin Tag, it was about the size of my thumb and squashy like a marshmallow between my butt cheeks. It made hygiene impossible and I felt constantly sore and itchy, plus I could feel it’s squashiness when sitting. I didn’t have any of the pain that you describe.
If it’s that bad for you, I would say get the surgery done. If you’re mentally prepared for the pain and physically prepared (there’s some great tips on here like frozen nappies to ease swelling, use salt or tea tree oil in the bath, eat mainly soup and fruit etc) then you’ll get through it and at least there will be an end in sight.
I still have an open wound but I can see that once it’s healed and I’m less sore, then the problem will have gone for me.
Everyone had a different experience and there are lots of horror stories out there, I was really scared about how it would be and I’ve not found it as bad as expected. So don’t think that the only way is a horrible experience, hopefully I am an example of a positive experience and yes it was painful but it’s getting better. Bear in mind that people won’t be likely to share their experience if it wasn’t worth moaning about so if it’s good they’re unlikely to share it on a forum.
I’m 34 so I know how you feel. You need your life back and to enjoy time with your family. I’ve gained loads of weight through being unable to exercise due to this and other gynae probs I had after birth which have been operated on also. Now it’s all done, I’m almost back to pre-birth normal and SO looking forward to shifting the weight and getting my life back. Do it, you deserve to enjoy life.
My hems were bad only a few days or a week out of every other month. Very painful even when not on the toilet, lots of bleeding and pain. So they were pretty bad when they flared.
I finally pooped this morning. And the pain during and after was by far worst than anything I have ever felt. (And I've had 3 csections). But within a couple of hours I'm feeling a lot better. I have only taken Motrin, no narcotics, and I'm barely in pain. So I'll say it gets better. My husband had to come home during my poop session. But he returned to work. Today makes exactly one week, and while I still feel like I have at least 2-3 weeks of healing to feel even slightly normal. Today feels like I'm out of the darkness.
Thank you so much for the encouragement. How are you feeling today and how did you make it through Thanksgiving?
Has it continued to improve for you? How are you the past few days? I was wondering too if your hems were internal or external?
Go for Laser surgery it is less painful there will be pain only during BM. It's almost 3 weeks now after my laser surgery. And it is painful only during BM and that depends how hard your stool is.
Thankfully I am feeling so much better. Once I was able to regulate my poop I am feeling almost normal. I only have pain right before a bowel movement (from the pressure) and during depending on how hard the stool. But mostly after. After I poop the pain is almost unbearable, feels like someone is pouring lava into my hole. I have to immediately get into the bath tub, it's very horrible. But outside of that, I have little to no pain. I do have anal leakage (so gross I know) so I have to wear a pad because it doesn't stop, even though it's not much. It's caused Bacterial infection in my lady parts which also sucks. I'm still barely eating (I think the constipation and then diarrhea caused me to be truamatized.) so I'm trying to get my appetite back.
I had grade 3 internal and external hems. "Quite large" as the doctor put it.
Hi, I’m on day 17 now and feel almost completely normal at rest, sitting is now fine. I’m in the UK so we don’t have Thanksgiving. I got my Dr to sign me off work for another week as I’m still a bit sore and I think that should be plenty. I will have had three weeks off then.
BMs are still sore but not as bad as they were and it’s a little sore for a while after but doesn’t stop me doing anything. I can wear jeans now too which is a bonus.
My main issue now is itching. You know when you have a scab that is healing and it itches...I have that feeling a lot. I guess it’s a good thing as it means the outer wound is healing and the new skin is forming, but my goodness it drives me mad. A wet wipe brings a bit of relief. I’ve also been using this olive oil balm (http://www.hollandandbarrett.com/shop/product/dr-organic-virgin-olive-oil-bio-balm-60086371?skuid=086371&&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_adid=210906234626&utm_adgID=58700002702351962&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIoYbggdzb1wIVS7XtCh1PEQpEEAQYAiABEgIlx_D_BwE) with vitamin c, cocoa butter, arnica etc that I have used on surgery scars before and it seems to be soothing and making the outer wound less raw. I just rub a little in after a shower.
Have you come to a decision about whether to go ahead with it?