I suffer from major depression and have for the last 5 years. This has in turn led to the determination of certain relationships, but now it's come between me and my ex. The long story short is I felt like she deserved so much more than I could be due to my depression. She still loves me as I do her but the thought of being back with her riddles me with anxiety and guilt because I worry about when I'm depressed, making me feel guilty and anxious again for burdening her.
My question is this - has anyone got any advice, specifically those who have had counselling? I haven't had it before and I don't know what to expect from it but if anyone could give me advice on how they deal with similar feelings or how their counsellor recommends they deal with similar feelings that'd be helpful.
Ash
Ash you have got to focus on your well being and find happiness in your existance. Take advantage of your life and look at the pretty stuff like the sky and trees. it's easy, just look away and find a new object to focus on.
Eric..
Ash, we all join into partnerships based on likes and needs not dislikes and don't needs thus, if a person joins you they must have an idea what to expect.
Eric
at 35 years old I was court ordered to attend open full blown group therapy for five years every Monday night. If the judge diddnt tell me to go I would not have. Oddly enough the same year, "2005" I started college, earneed my GED and continued college for six years earning two degrees and 200 college credits. I'm now 46 and educated!
I spent more than the first half of my life trying to keep relationships going and trying to not be alone. Today, I enjoy my time alone but I'm icolating too much and need to get outside more.
Hi Ash
Youve already taken a massive step by agreeing to counselling. If someone loves you so much you will never ever be a burden, love is unconditional. I am not a professional I can only share what I have been through, my husband of 30 years has changed beyond belief he has left myself and our kids, this is as a result of work, pressure stress and bullying at work, he acknowledges this as the problem but it has torn what was once a happy family apart, he feels immense guilt but this guilt is because he knows what he has done. We have all tried to encourage him to get counselling but nothing any of us can do, he has to admit he has a probelm and so far is burying his head in the sand and focussing on other things as a distraction. Distractions don't work, things can't be continually swept under the carpet, his counsellor even told him to stop using work as a distraction but instead he keeps putting things in boxes like the person who has bullied him, putting all his emotions behind shutters hoping they will go away, sadly they don't we all have at some point to face our fears. I've had anxiety and agrophobia myself so spend 24 years on Seroxat, at the height of my anxiety I wanted someone to kill me so I would never had to experience an anxiety attack again. With the right help, which included counselling and being with a group of people experiencing what I was going through I managed to get off Seroxat and am now better, in fact I am now the one who is now the strongest. I felt like a burden to my family but wihtout their love and support would not have got through this so this is another reason I'm holding out for my husband he didn't abandon me and we have both said we have never wanted anyone else. Please don't think you are a burden you need love and support from those close to you it is only you who can get yourself the help. Take care. J
What happened five years ago Ash?
If your girlfriend knows about your depression and is willing to stand by and help you then i think it is a good idea, having someone who loves you for you is a big help. I had councelling and although my counciller was lovely i didnt feel it worked fo me, however therapies seem to work better as i find they have a way of wording things to make you talk. I also have alot of guilt as i feel i ruin my bfs life, but we speak about things alot more and he just wants to help me get better and having his full support means so much to me. Good luck x