How to help my partner to stop drinking . It is killing our relationship!

My partner has not been working since first lock-down, and every night I come from work i find out he’s been drinking. On top of this, he would have a bottle of wine out ready for dinner. Another bottle is hidden in the boiler cupboard.

I met him 7 years ago and we have a wonderful daughter together. He has always been drinking but now not only it’s excessive , he has become very argumentative. He has become an narcissist, and a bully. He will instigate an argument the moment I walk in through the door, as he knows far well, it will upset me and I will go upstairs in the bedroom. This enables him to have a house to himself and drink to oblivion until he has nothing left to drink.

If I decide to stay downstairs so I do not enable him, he takes a bottle and goes ad drinks in the bedroom.

I have walked out of the relationship many time so he can change. I can’t do this any more! I am exhausted by the drama this is causing me, the endless arguments which our daughter is now witnessing and finally, I am falling out of love from all the nasty things he says to upset me.

When I approached his parents, they recommended that i go gentle on him as he needs all the love he can get, but what about me and our child? Am I being unreasonable? Then his dad took him home with him for a few years, made decisions how to go about it and I was not involved in any of the decisions.

I want to help him and save our family. Any tips or recommendations? Many thanks in advance.

Hello Cancy. He has no intention of stopping the drinking and he is not listening to you or anybody else. I was drinking heavily and my wife nearly walked out on me 8 years ago. i stopped 31st dec 2012 exactly. 8 years but i wanted to! I cannot see what more you can do since you already walked out many times. My twins were 16 months old and i was killing myself but wanted to see them grow up! You need a miracle. Best regards Robin