Hi guys, I'd like to start with saying that this is my first ever time writing to a forum and also please consider that English is not my mother tongue so excuse me if I'm all over the place and make no sense. Three years ago, when I was 17, I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression and I was on meds for a while. I'd like to think that I did a pretty good job in terms of overcoming my fears and shutting the voices in my head but after all those years my anxiety relapsed. I was trying my best to hold myself and my anxious thoughts so that I could act like I'm mentally healthy but I failed because of a couple of reasons that I don't feel comfortable enough to share. Today I had an attack right before my German Speaking Exam (it was crucial, expensive and I ruined everything) and locked myself into the bathroom of the place that I took the exam. (Should I mention that I missed the speaking exam and failed on the whole test?) There's another exam in two months that I can take but first I need to talk to my mom about it so I can get help from a professional but the exam itself is already stressful enough. My mom is my best supporter and she helped me a lot three years ago but I know how sad she was and I don't want her to feel in that way ever again, especially after my little brother being diagnosed with epilepsy. She always says that I'm strong and I can do anything whenever I want and that I'm mentally healthy and I like how she thinks about me and I don't want to let her down. I seriously don't know what to do and I need some tips. I'd appreciate it a lot if you could just help me on that. p.s: I feel like I should mention another thing which is what makes this situation harder for me. I work with a company that will help me study abroad and I also have a teacher who has done everything she can to help me study abroad. Talking to my mom about my mental health and the exam situation means that these people will know about my anxiety and it really feels uncomfortable.
I think the best you can do for yourself is get some professional help with your anxiety. Speak with a counselor or therapist because they can help you learn how to manage all of this. Don’t be ashamed of having anxiety. It’s not your fault. Millions of people suffer with this. It’s the number one reason why people talk to counselors. They know how to help.it doesn’t matter who knows about your anxiety. Don’t worry about what other people think just take care of yourself. Anxiety is so common anyway. Just get the help that you need and support. take care