So I was diagnosed with genital hsv1 three months ago . It still brings me down sometimes but im learning to love myself again . Basically ive been talking to this guy during this time but we never engaged in anything . About three weeks ago he fingered me and i didnt tell him . I asked experts (doctors and nurses) and my friends they said i didnt have to disclose it because the minimal risk and stigma . stats show its not a chance getting it that way . he attempted to give oral but i didnt let it happen . Days later we planned on actually doing it and this was the time i told him . He’s now uninterested physically because he felt i told him to late and the trust isnt there . yet i was trying to make sure i trusted him before i told him . how should i go about it next time ? did i mess this up?
i would ask if he gets cold sores first? he might say yeah but have HSV2 orally then just as easily infect you!
if he already has HSV1 then he already had the virus! so transmittion possible!
ive never got close enough since being diognosed with HSV1 i feel sad all the time!
but if i were i would say before having sex in worried about STIs my friend recived oral from a guy who had coldsores now hes given them to her down there and im worried the same will happen to me - do you get coldsores? if yeah nothing to worry about but remeber he may have HSV2 orally!!! such a tricky virus and i bet more people have it than they let on!
no he doesnt have anything. he got tested before and was negative . i only have it hsv1 genitally . Hes upset because i didnt tell him before he fingered me .
I wouldnt say you messed up, but i think the part you messed up at was letting him finger you when you didnt tell him, even if theres minimal risk, he still deserved to know at that point in my opinion