I've read so much on this forum over the last year... what stands out is that most of us feel awful, are hyper at 2am, are hurting and anxious, tetchy and forgetful, overweight and finding exercise near impossible, so I thought a little light humour might help. Feel free to add more...
EXERCISES FOR PEOPLE OVER 50 ... and good information for future use for those who have not yet reached the half century mark.
Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side.
With a 5-lb potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from
your sides and hold them there as long as you can.
Try to reach a full minute, and then relax. Each day you'll find that you
can hold this position for just a bit longer.
After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato sacks. Then try 50-lb.
potato sacks and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb
potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a
full minute. (I'm at this level)
After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks.
(very suitable for pmr patients!)
An elderly gent was invited to an old friend's
home for dinner one evening.
He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every
request to his wife with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc.
The couple had been married almost 60 years and,
clearly, they were still very much in love.
While the wife was in the kitchen , the man leaned
over to his host, 'I think it's wonderful that after all these
years, you still call your wife those loving pet names'.
The old man hung his head. 'I have to tell you
the truth,' he said, 'Her name slipped my mind about
10 years ago and I'm too scared to ask the old biddy
what it is'
There's nothing worse than a doctor's receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients.
An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded doctor's waiting room. As he approached the desk, the receptionist said, \"Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?\"
\"There's something wrong with my penis,\" he replied. The receptionist became irritated and said, \"You shouldn't come into a crowded doctor's waiting room and say things like that.\"
\"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you,\" he said.
The receptionist replied, \"You've obviously caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and then discussed the problem further with the doctor in private.\"
The man replied, \"You shouldn't ask people things in a room full of others, if the answer could embarrass anyone.\"
The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.
The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, \"Yes,\"
\"There's something wrong with my ear,\" he stated.
The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. \"And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?\"
\"I can't piss out of it,\" the man replied.
The waiting room erupted.
Shebob, Nefret, Green Granny... are you smiling?