Hypnagogic Hallucinations How can my mind be so cruel???

Signs and symptoms
1

It's 9pm and already I'm feeling panicky and emotional about going to sleep.

To my knowledge over the past 12 years I have suffered varying degrees of \"night activity\" at differing levels of consciousness and at different times of the night. Usually every other night and anything from sitting upright in bed for a few seconds before lying back down and going to sleep again, shouting, chatting, crying; to getting out of bed and wandering round the house unlocking doors and switching on lights.

However, I've had about 5 cases of extreme night terrors which I now believe to be hypnagogic hallucinations. These always happen not long after going to bed or not long before wakening up. They are, without doubt, the most terrifying of experiences and take weeks to come to terms with.

The most recent one was on Thursday night not long after I went to sleep. I always have my eyes open when they happen and have the ability to take in the details of the room about me. It's just that there are always additional details which my mind seems to trick me into believing are as real as the furniture.

On Thursday night I opened my eyes to see two shadowy figures, male, at the end of my bed, standing there looking at me. I was so scared and unable to ration that it was a dream state, I was sure they would rape or murder me, that I screamed twice which was enough to raise my levels of consciousness enough for the figures to just disappear. I know I screamed because my throat is still sore, fortunately for my boyfriend he wasn't there at the time. My fear was so extreme and I was so distressed that three days later I'm still carrying the emotional anguish.

The worst experience of extreme night terror that I've had was when I woke when morning, again my eyes were open and there was someone sitting on my bed with their legs across my body, I could feel the pressure of their body. They had a balaclava on (so no facial detail again as in the last case) but I conversated with the person who I believed was my boyfriend and he told me he was a terrorist and threatened that he'd kill me if I told anyone. After some time, maybe three minutes, my fear must have peaked enough to raise my consciousness levels and he just disappeared. I was left staring at the curtains. It was so traumatic that I still carry the emotional distress and can remember every detail of it 10 years later. Strange, I can't even remember things I did a couple of weeks ago but this etched in my memory like a death. The conversation I had was not auditory, I know it was constructed within my mind, but at the time I couldn't reason that out, it felt so real.

I have to seek help on this but I don't want to have to take drugs and that seems to be the preferred route by medical practitioners

2

Hi there Kate1

I too have and still do experience night terrors.

I mainly experience someone or rather something lay on top of me pinning my hands down as I try and kick them off me.

My eyes are defintely open :shock: I can see around the room quite clearly well before my door opens and this thing attacks me.

Once I tried to get out of the bed before it came, convinced as to where I lay, I stepped out of the bed only to hit a wall.

Then as i lay back it attacked me.

Melbi x

3

Hey Kate1,

I know exactly how you feel about your hallucinations. I've been suffering from them for about 6 years. I find that I experience them when I am stressed. I have alway been one for repressing and blocking my emotions and anything traumatic and I think this is one of the ways they show themselves. I first started getting them when I was about 15 and my parents were getting divorced. I thought I was seeing ghosts. They weren't so scary then, as strange as that sounds. I saw a girl with long hair covering her face (much like that one out of The Ring, but it was before that came out) get into my bed beside me, a tall man at the end of my bed and various things running out of the walls. I was pretty relaxed about it though and didn't notice the sleep paralysis. They stopped for a while but these last couple of years they have returned with a vengance.

The first time I saw them again, I saw a man and a woman beside my bed, they were arguing, though the conversation was in my head and the woman threw her mobile phone at the guys head. I realised this couldn't be ghosts (what ghost has a mobile?) and I panicked and tried to move, but found I couldn't. I couldn't even scream, although I tried my best. Eventually I manged to come round enough that they disappeared. I've also seen a man with a utility belt walking up and down beside my bed. I knew I was 'awake' though because I could hear my sister tapping on the computer in the next room. With out a doubt the most terrifying experience I have ever had, and it still sickens me that my mind can come up with it was the most recent. I became aware that there were two demon like men in my room. One was pinning my shoulders down and the other was sat astride my legs. I panicked, but then remembered that it was my imagination, so I tried to relax. I then had the awful feeling that these demon men were going to rape me. I was doing my best to stay calm and concentrate on waking up but when I looked down and saw that the man on my legs had this bizzarre sharp penis and I completely lost it. I swear I could actually feel him raping me and such was my panick and terror that for the first time I manged to wrench myself out of the paralysis and sit up. They disappeared of course.

From what I can gather, this isn't that uncommon, people just don't like talking about it. I certainly didn't, I manged to tell one of my friends but felt ashamed and embarrassed. I think this is where ther legends of succubus' and incubus' come from.

I have found that falling asleep on your back increases your chances of hallucinating, try to sleep on your side. Also, if you find yourself paralysed, try to blink rapidly, slowly you'll regain control of the rest of your body. I definitely suffer more when I am sleep deprived, (I also suffer from insomnia when I'm stressed) have been drinking alot or been taking drugs.

I have found that they can be linked to a lack of seretonin levels in the brain and antidepressants can help, although I have never tried them. Unfortunately depression, which is essentially low levels of seretonin in the brain, runs in my family so I don't think I can avoid them altogether but I have been able to control them to some degree.

Sorry for the long post, but I hope this helps a little.

4

I’ve had similar experiences, some a little different for about ten years. Back in child hood I have various sleeping problems that disappeared in my teens.

Presently I notice if I am tired and go to sleep I can feel myself as if being pulled in to sleep. I can while being partly awake feel a paralysis come over my legs and up my body. The first I was aware of this ever happening I woke up some 4hrs into my sleep to find I had not woke up and was being pinned down by what seemed like a force. I tried pushing, shouting but could not do either until through doing this I worked my way out the dream into a fully wakened state.

I believe the paralysis is to do with the brain causing the body to be paralysed so as to prevent injury during sleep. This was my first key learning point that help me.

At first I thought this to be some sort of demon then through my experiences I realised that what was coming into my head shaped what happened. The aim for me is to catch my thoughts quickly and be aware of what’s happening before it snowballs into a terrifying experience.

This awareness didn’t come overnight. I often found myself scared to go to sleep and I think this made it worse.

Now I'm very aware that this happens to me but sometimes catches me unaware and can be very frightening until I get my head around it or I fortunately wake up. It seems at times I can have some control over it. Dipping my toe in and out of the water so to speak though this is only at times when I’m just going to sleep.

Actually in reading your experiences it has made me re-live ones I’ve forgotten about. I tore some of this out another page I wrote since my experiences are like your own.

Things like figure sitting at end of bed and moving up over my body, or someone sitting across my body, and aware of presence but thankfully less of the visual, though I do remember closing my eyes deliberately in one episode because I was too scared. I believe the feeling of someone sitting over me is to do with the human bodies state of paralysis and how your dreaming mind interprets this.

I realised I could have a certain control over the experience when I once thought what if it was a woman. Need I say any more.

Jet lag, new environment and totally dark rooms can also cause me problems.

I realised I had to face it straight on after which doesn't make it any less frightening. Try to reason your way out of it. The time has come now that usually when I wake up in the state I realise it in seconds what it is and can wake up calmly. That usually isn't a 100%.

I hope this helps.

5

Is there some sort of cure for this!

I too have all these experiences and its geting to the stage un bearable to sleep at night!

Sometimes sleeping with a tiny light on stops these nightmares occuring but find it extremley embarssing at a older age having to sleep with a light on!!

I would not like to take anti depressents, I wonder if this has anything to do with any emotional illness which anyone has, stress mabey?

Nat

6

Natalie,

Don't feel bad about having to use a light, I do too (and I'm 57). I find it helps me to wake up more quickly and realize that I'm having an HH. Now I wouldn't want to sleep without it. Whatever works, huh?

7

Its absolutely fasinating to me that everyone has such similar experiences with this...

Right down to what is actually being hallucinated.

I wonder why spiders are so common, even if the person isnt particularly afraid of spiders.

8

I can relate entirely to all the experiences listed above. Definitely a new environment, differnet sleeping position, eating at night or sleeping eexhausted have effected my dreams. I'm trying to sleep on my right side now, i dont eat after 7pm and I drink exactly 1 coffee a day and then lots of cammomile during the day to keep me calm. I was recommended to speak to a therapist who explained to me that it could be stress induced or due to depression (solution was meds or therapy sessions) I spoke to an endocrinologist thinking it could be my hormones who explained that low sugars cause night mares so could be a possible reason too. All I know is, I wish there was more research in the subject becuase I have gotten hurt several times and now I'm pregnant and worried that the next dream could hurt me and my baby. (Not to forget hitting my husband a few times too) My husband does catch me pretty quickly and tries to wake me up but i'll fight him becuase i dont recognise who he is and asssume he's "the monster" attacking me. I started sleeping with a light on becuase in the dark it would take me longer to recognise my husband. OVerall aside from the physical pain i go through the emotional anguish lasts longer. I just wish someone could tell me what I can do becuase I feel defeated by an imaginary monster.

9

Kate, it's helpful to hear someone so vividly and sincerely describe what I had been experiencing for the last 6+ years.   My hallucinations or "thinking" voices are NOT EVEN CLOSE to the terror you experience.  Occasionly I  will have vivid audio nightmares like you, but the vast majority are just routine, every day conversations

My girlfriend passed away from a blood clot just last June. only 29 years old.  I often "thought" I heard a knock on door and my girlfriend saying it's me and I will resond w/ hi or whatever and open door.  Obviously there is no one at the door.  These hallucinations are occuring less frequently, but it is one way to remember her ... (RIP Sweetie).

Thank you, 

Quentin

10

Shadow people, and feeling and/or seeing someone sitting on you are very in HH when you have narcolepsy. I've had sleep paralysis since I was a child, but it only used to happen about once a week then. Noone had heard of narcolepsy, and since I told my mom I felt an evil presence and I couldn't move or scream, she agreed that it was indeed evil spirits. I didn't sleep in my own bed until I was 8.

I was diagnosed at 47. My night terrors and SP had gotten so bad I had it every time, and I mean every time I tried to fall asleep I had them. I got to where I might sleep an hour a night in 10 minute jags. I was speaking sleep deprived I began having seizures with them which really scared me and led me on my journey to diagnosis. I learned that my "attacs" during the daytime were cateplexy.

I now take Effexor, and it takes my sleep paralysis away by a good 95%. It's heaven for me.it doesn't take all the other stuff of narcolepsy away, but I'll take not having sleep paralysis! There's a med called xyrem that's supposed to be the very best for narcolepsy, but I take narcotics for chronic pain so I can't use them. I sure hope you find some relief.