hi there, I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t explain my whole situation cause it would be too long but basically I had a bad accident. This have given me a hardcore disability chronic pain and chronic everything like depression , anxiety, hopelessness, etc. my life is over and there is no point to it. I just exist and obtain food and have to stay in isolation most of the time. I cannot let anyone into my life because of the symptoms and what this does to me. The really crappy thing about it is that I am 99.9 percent sure that it can’t be fixed. So everyday I suffer and think about living like I do now for say the next 30 years or so until I die and I just cannot even imagine spanning that much time with this disability and all these symptoms and living in isolation. There is no way that I can do that. But here I am still for now. But I really feel like my time is coming to an end sooner than later. If anybody has any ideas please let me know and I hope anyone else who is suffering can get better.
Hi Charlie i am so sorry to hear what happened to you it must be devastating , as you said you do not want to tell the whole story it will take so long , well when i joined this forum with my story i told it and was surprised how many people got back to me and how it changed my life, so i feel if i tell you a little bit about me and what i have been through and still think life is worth living i hope will to, i was not wanted as a baby, not my mums fault she just was not that way, i got no love and all my parents did was fight, i got lots of love from my dad but the household was a nightmare, i could have no friends growing up, and found it hard to mix with people, i got badly bullied at school where i just wanted to die, i told no one, i could not wait to leave, i left home at 17, thinking the world would be a great place, i had to work 3 jobs to support myself , and put me through the job i wanted, i was abused my men , which led to eating disorders , then i got severe migraines which i have over 30yrs and no longer can do my dream job, and with the eating dis orders i got severe ibs, and when i thought my life could not get any worse i got a brain tumour, but after all that and trying to take my life 3 times and adding to that just being diagnosed with bdd, which is a disease where you can not stand to look in the mirror without disgust, iam here today i survived and i am so glad i did, life is wonderful now , i beat cancer, iam on medication for my depression and anxiety, and i am speaking to a counsellor for the abuse, and i just take one day at a time, so please DO NOT GIVE UP IF I CAN GO THROUGH 30YRS OF IT AND STILL WANT TO BE HERE SO CAN YOU, there are plenty of people who can help you do not be afraid to ask, the reason it took me so long to get help is because i kept quiet, do not, say how you feel find people in the same boat hear there stories , the web is a great place to information, and this forum is a great help to, i find it and it helped me big time, take care, and i am here, if you need to talk any time, god bless x
You and me both. I have no hope, motivation or strength. I've been there before. Talk to me. I'll talk to you.
Hi Charlie
So sorry to hear about your accident I can’t even imagine what you must be going through but I do feel for you and the impact it’s having on your life no one deserves that.
Have you been referred to a pain management clinic? Are your Doctors supportive? Please don’t give up xx
Please do not give up.
Like you said , you do not feel able to tell your whole story. As another person commented .. when you feel ready .. talk to people about your situation and find people who understand. On forums etc. This will help a lot.
You say you have disabilities which sound like they are physical but hard to comment as you have not told your full story.
You were put on earth for a reason. Life is a gift.
Depression is an emotion where you are 'stuck' in an unhappy place. You need to find a way to move forward . And find solutions. Your depression has made you think that ending everything is your solution but NO .. depression is a liar. There are many other solutions. Suicide is a permanent decision that you can never ever take back or change.
Things will take time to improve but they will. You need to find ways to adjust to your new situation . You have been so brave so far so don't give up!!
Get all the support you can.
Little steps at a time.
You seem intelligent and eloquent in your writing so I am sure you have a lot to give the world. You may not be able to do the same hobbies you enjoyed before but with strength you can find new hobbies.
Do you enjoy reading , writing, creating? Think of all the possibilities of exciting new things you can do.
Look what Stephen Hawkins achieved in his life of being severely disabled.
I think you should also pray to god and start believing in a higher power and that god is looking after you and all will be well.
I am sorry if you find any part of this message patronising as it was not meant to be and I fully understand you are going through a majorly tough and difficult time and YOU are a truly amazing person. You can handle whatever life throws at you . Your have the power !!
Well if you want to have that attitude then talk to people who want to give up and do not bother asking for help
Hi Sam, Sherri, and jay babes, thanks for responding and and caring. I really appreciate your good thoughts. I posted on here cause I am at the end of my rope. So I will tell you some basics but ru to keep it short and to the point even though it’s embarrassing as hell. So I damaged my pudendal nerve which is the nerve that runs off of your tailbone’s and up through your paraneum and through your balls and to your penis or if you are female then the vagina. It controls all bathroom and sexual function. I also tore tissue and or si ligament some to. I have this constant tearing and pain with sitting and instability that never goes away for 3 years now. Can’t go on trips or do anything active cause everything makes it worse. Barely sit through reasraurants. I also tore my hip labrum and damaged my hip and cartilede bad which I had a major surgery for it a year and a half ago. The hip is way better than it was but still have chronic pain with weight barring and si joint pain. Breathing problems as well because my right side has no support anymore so it kind of collapses down putting pressure in my diaphragm and heart. There are a ton more symptoms but you get the idead. So being ripped up the center of your body along with all the other give me a hardcore psychological problem. No more girls or dating or even feeling comfortable around them or in public. So unless magic falls from the sky I will never have another girlfriend again. I loved girls they can be so pretty. When I see One I just want to cry and kill myself. I also can’t stand looking st myself in mirror anymore like one of you said. I miss my old life with a passion and have nightmares about it and don’t get hardly any sleep. I have made it almost 3 yes now but don’t know how much longer I can hold on cause there appears to be no fix for it. The majority of the mainstream medical community will denie that this even exists cause it doesn’t show up in any test and I have already pursued it to the fullest. So I don’t know anymore.
Hi am sorry to barge in your conversation but i am so glad you said what you said i got in touch with charlie and told him my story and told him there is hope and not to give up and some replied to me telling me what i said was a load of nonsense it made me so angry, no one should tell you give up and there is no hope, it is cruel he said what i said is unrealistic, i have been through hell and back and i still thick life is worth living, and i hope charlie would want to get the help he needs, so i hope you do not mind me sending you this, it gave me faith in what i do, i love helping people and so do most of the people that joined this forum
Hi sam i am so sorry i did not realise you were getting in touch with charlie , your message came straight after a horrible message i got for trying to help charlie and what that person said really upset and angered me, and i thought you were agreeing with him, i hope you are ok and its great with what you have been through that you want to help others
Hi Charlie you really have gone through the mill ,i can not say i know how you feel being a woman but ti was me who told you my story, and all what i went through all i do know is what it is like to live in constant pain every day , i have had to learn to live with it and adapt my life around it, it has not been easy all the things i love to do i cant not but there are other things i find i can do, i feel there is help for you ,my mum has constant pain in her back and legs , she was told she would end up in a wheelchair she had a major op, cost my dad lots of money has the waiting list was to long and sorry to say it did not work, my mum got so down, but she is a fighter and kept going to the hospital till they were sick of the sight of my mum and dad she got treat and belongs to a pain management clinic , it has been great ,she is 81 and no wheelchair, so please charlie i believe there is some one out there who can help you, i hate seeing people suffer, and i hate you to give up, and just keeping talking to us , some one on here may have a solution, take care please keep in touch
Hi jay babes
I’m a bit lost has someone been horrible to you and Charlie? How awful hope your both ok x
Charlie, I urge you not to think about suicide. Just makes it worse! I have felt like that myself -- I am 73 with no spouse, children or grandchildren. I suffer from occasional black depression. What's the point of going on? I've thought that many times. But right now, I am in a much better space, thanks to a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) weekly workshop. I am slowly learning to think more positively about myself after a traumatic event when I was 19. Right now, where I live, it's summer and the weather is lovely. I have started swimming in the local pool again, and just got back from a short trip to a little fishing village on an island not too far away from where I live, in Vancouver, Canada. I have reconnected with an old friend, and today a new friend called and asked me for coffee.
IT WILL GET BETTER! Please believe me.
Hi jaybabes, I couldn't believe what was said! If I feel upset by what people say I normally try to be polite, except in the case of my counsellor whose head I sadly bit off! I feel dreadful for having done that but I was exceptionally cross! I hope you are ok, these responses often get sent to the wrong person.
Hi Charlie, no wonder you feel so rubbish, I didn't realise how tough your life was, but why should you hide from life. My friend has multi difficulties and she copes, she has cerebral palsy. I have a double health difficulty and 2 learning difficulties too. I have had recently when I haven't wanted to live through being so sad. Hang on in there if you can and please speak to someone.
Hey Charlie, I am so sorry that you are in such pain. But don't give up. Amazing things are happening in the medical field. I also have constant pain from a stroke and fibromyalgia. Its hard, but we can't give up because we don't really know what the future holds. Medical breakthrough are happening around the world and one of them just might have our name on it.
Hi Sherri yes they have , i sent a lovely message to charlie reassuring him that life is worth living after i told him my story and what i had and still are going through, and this horrible person told me my response was rubbish and unrealistic, and i should keep my thoughts and help to myself , and i was a joke, and he only has not said horrible things to me , i found out he had said alot of nasty things to other people so i had to do something about it, someone got in touch with me to apologise, very lovely of them and they reported them and got me to do the same, i got in touch with you because you were lovely to charlie and he needed it and we both got back to him at the same time, and we do not need people like that on this forum , this has been a god send for me since i joined up only one month ago x
That is ok Sam we all have our off days , and if you can express what you feel to your counsellor then who can you let steam off too, i am sure they understood its their job, and they know hat you are going through, that is why it is called talking therapy, and you know it was not you because you felt dreadful afterwards, i am ok now after that horrible remark, plus so many people have been in touch saying how nasty they was and how lovely i was, and they reported it, nice to know people care
Thank you for your reassurance, I'll see about going back though, I have my doctor contacting me later. I am really not happy. I'll see what she says.
Hi Mina, thanks for caring cause ther aren’t too many people in this world that care. This world is a competition and I have lost unfortunately. I hate to hear about your conditions. I hope you can get better and we can live a normal life. I just can’t see any hope anymore and it’s hard to keep going in this isolation with all these symptoms keeping me here. I can’t stand not having any contact with girls anymore. When I look at a pretty girl that I would have been interested in in my old life I have to fight off the anger and I want to put my head down and cry and then die. I am so angry all the time and I hate who I have become because of this. Sorry for the long msg. How is your life now and when how long have you had your problems ?
Hi Sam sorry to hear that i hope you have better luck with your doctor , will be thinking of you , if you need to talk i am here for you