I am going to pass out from being so scared

Mental health
1

Hey. Im Emma. Im 18.

 Ive got pains in my stomach and ribs. Its pressure and burning. It started in February. I woke up in the middle of the night. Blurry vision, diarrhea, vomiting white chunks of something, stomach literally hurting so much I couldnt move. It went away in the evening. I was just left with said pressure. Till now.

I went to my doc. She is very sweet and sent me to get all of the tests possible. I got blood work two times - everything you can think of, it has been tested. Just tumor markers were not . Nothing wrong found. She thought i have helicobacter pylori but the second test have shown that its also negative. I have sonography done. Nothing abnormal at all. Urine test. Nothing. She, just to be sure, wants me to go to get another blood test. Final one.

I have trouble sleeping. This is my sleep routine - I wake up at 2 in the morning.. wake up at 5.. fall asleep at 8.. again wake up at 11.. now, if I just think about it.. the only thing that would not be visible from blood tests is literally cancer. My worst fear did just came true? Am I going to die without experiencing anything from the worst disorder known to mankind? Am I going to send my family to depression and sadness, break their hearts? I am so afraid of that im in my bed shaking and im considering calling the ambulance. Im so done.

Nothing sends me to peace. My doc said i have got nothing to be afraid of, she said she is sure its nothing serious but I should get all the tests done.. she says if I will still feel unwell after a few weeks, I should go get an endoscopy. How can she know I dont have cancer? Im just too scared. Not for the endoscopy itself but just the result. Im 100% positive im terminally ill.

My life quality is so low.. nothing helps. She says its just my brain but i do feel real ass pain. What would you do?

2

 I absolutely do believe you are feeling true pain. However, when anxiety sets in our brain tends to go negative and then fear sets in,  then  we convince ourselves we have something terrible. I did that for many years and I wasted those years when I could've been enjoying them. 

 you said you were 100% convinced you have cancer.  The fear has convinced you that is so.   "What if " thinking  is not based on fact. It is also not based on reality. It is basically fearful, negative thoughts fleeting around in our mind.

 You really don't have typical symptoms of cancer.  None of your tests that have been done suggest cancer. Everything is in your favor.  Your doctor said you have nothing to worry about. Very often doctors run tests to give the patient peace of mind., even though the doctor is convinced the test will come out normal. 

 all those questions you asked are working you up and making you more anxious. .

 cancer is not typical for someone of your age. You need to relax and take some slow deep breath's.  There could be many other explanations for your symptoms  no not serious. Let the doctors do their job and trust in their judgment because they have a lot of experience. 

 listen to some YouTube meditations for anxiety or negative thinking. They will help you relax and slow down a bit. And listen to some for sleeping.

 I truly do believe you are going to be just fine. ❤️😁🌸

3

 Also listen to a meditation to calm down called 10 minute breathing meditation. Found on YouTube 

4

Thank you, your response made me worry a bit less. I have never tried meditation, I am always convinced that my mind is just unable to relax and its going to do more harm than good. But It is worth the try. Going to do so tommorow. Thank you.

5

I thought the same thing Emma. I thought nothing could calm down my mind.

 but through mindfulness, I found out thatthere is a different perspective  to everything, especially our fears.  A more realistic way of viewing our fears.  That helps bring peace of mind so you can live a happy life 

6

Hello Emma,

just as jan34534 states, I too believe that you are experiencing real pain, not only physically but also emotionally and as jan stated;

"The fear has convinced you that is so.   "What if " thinking  is not based on fact. It is also not based on reality. It is basically fearful, negative thoughts fleeting around in our mind."

It saddens me that someone as young as yourself should find yourself in this situation, trying to get through what is obviously a very difficult emotional time, yet appearing not to have. even the resemblence of support from the available services within your community. Pain caused by whatever reason should be examined along with the emtional complications that it can bring, GP's often forget that even tho the tests they arrange come back as negative, people who are experiencing pain will continue to look for a cause, frequently their mind will tend towards the more serious possibile causes of that pain. You stated that you are "100% positive im terminally ill" even tho none of the tests indicate anything wrong, you have also stated that the doctor has tested you for several things e.g. helicobacter pylori yet even tho nothing is showing there are more tests planned if required even one more blood test just to make sure. From a purely psychological point of view, especially when we are feeling low or anxious, our thought process goes like this.....I have a lot of pain and feel rotten, I have had tests but nothing showed, I'm still feeling pain and unwell so it must be something else, another test shows up as negative and another and another, our brain then goes bloody hell what is wrong with me if they can't find it, it must be more serious than I thought and in your case your brain, in all likelyhood subconsciously at first has jumped to cancer. Now the cause or reason behind this jump would be one of a thousand or more possiblities e.g. something your subconscious recalled from the TV or a story you heard about. What I am trying to say is that, firstly you are not going mad or imagining the pain, it is all real to you. Again as jan stated the chances of it being cancer are very remote, oh and on that cancer does show up in a blood test.

There are many sites on the internet which I would recommend you look at, however I would highly recommend you start here https://www.mind.org.uk/ they also have a helpline available during weekdays whereby you can discuss your problems and will help you find local organisations with which you can get the support you need.

In any event I would try not to focus on the cancer as it is very unlikely but try focusing on replacing the negative thought with something more positive...e.g. I think I have cancer, the likelyhood of cancer at my age is very remote, cancer shows up in tests, have had the tests and they are negative, likelyhood is I dont have cancer, I would also try slow deep breathing as you go through it. Now that is a very rough and basic example but I hope you see what I am getting at, also it is very very important that you do not try to go through all this on your own, we all of us, those on this forum and those that are not, need support during times like this. I would say it is as essential as the tests you are having. If you dont think you can talk to anyone at home or your friends you always message me if you wish or use the forums.

Anyway I'm wishing you all the best and if I can help at all please don't hesitate even it's just to help you find worthwhile sites.

Take care

Craig

7

I had all that done with my first bought of anxiety and depression. I swore I was dying. They check me out from the rear and also down the throat. Removed my tonsils and widened my esophagus. I ended up on a tranquilizer called seroquel and I ended up sleeping a lot until the other depressions meds kicked in. If you have a job where you are able to take some time off, I would think about doing that, because these drugs will make you sleepy and lethargic but necessary.  Nexeum will help the stomach problems, lexapro, celexa, Effexor will help with everything else. But they can take up to 4 to 6 weeks to start working. Meantime, try to eat soup. See a therapist and don't expect quick results. You only get so much time with a therapist and may take a couple months to start to feel better. A couple years until you are yourself again. Just a warning. After three years, I took myself off my meds because I was just tired of going to refill scripts and tired of therapy. I felt better and just stopped everything. But once you go off them the emotions, any emotions, flood you like a rush. The drugs desensitized me for so long, once I went off them emotions from movies and songs just flooded me with emotional overload. I don't recommend going off your meds. But doctors are there to help you but also there to make money, and will continue to see you to prolong their own agendas. At least that's how it seemed to me. I hope this helps you

8

Thanks to everybody for your answers, i really am thankful. No matter what I do I just cannot abandon the feeling i have got cancer. My stomach is like on fire, it hurts when i press on it. I tried the meditation but i just couldnt let go as I expected. I still felt the pain and sitting still and focusing on my body just made it worse. I probably need some practice. I think what would work to calm myself is someone explaining to me, medically, why there is no or low possibility for me to have cancer. When I was a kid, my intestine literally popped and I had to go to operation and because of that i suffered from chronic constipation till I was like 12.(tmi) I, for some reason, always pushed the poop back inside me. This stopped when puberty hit. Now im afraid im paying the dues for that and cancer is here. Since i dont have infections, crohns disease and so on.. what is left? Ulcer or cancer. Thats what internet told me its not visible at all in blood tests. I am so over this. Im confused what is wrong.. i dont know 😒

9

Oh and I went for another blood test today. And again i have to wait for 14 days. I cannot wait anymore. Im so anxious

10

Hi Emma ànxiety feeds on fear and you have convinced yourself you have cancer and you are dying.l am not going to give you any reassurance as it doesn't work for health anxiety.Your doctor is just covering all the bases and l have no doubt everything will come back clear.You really must get help for your health anxiety eg therapy etc.Anxiety does make you feel very ill physically and mentally.You really need help to overcome it.Keep practicing meditation and breathing techniques even if you don't think it is working.

11

While you wait for your test results why not ask your doctor for a script for xanex, kalonipin, or adavan to help with the anxiety? 

12

I actually asked her for something like that to help me sleep at least (its 4:32pm and im awake again) and she refused to give it to me. I dont know why