I am 21 old full time student and working in two places. I am working on zero hours contracts and constantlly worry that I wont get enough hours and therefore will not be able to pay my bills. Infact I constantlly worry for everything, exept exams maybe. But I find myself thinking all the time. Even though I do my jobs for months and I have got previous experience everyday before work I worry that I will do or not something I will mess up and they will sack me. I've got so much ambition when it comes to my career but at the same time i feel like I will never succeed because I am not good enough. I have no friends or anyone I can talk with. For whatever reason I don't want to talk to my familly infact i find them really annoying. I live with my boyfriend and yes we lough and he makes me happy but he is extremelly irresponsible and there is nothing I can rely for on him which makes me think that this is a mistake. On top of this I gained weight that makes me extremelly unhappy but no matter what I do it seems I cant lose it. Some days it is better I am happy or if I am lucky I feel nothing but others like today I just want to stay in bed hide and cry all day. I feel so horrible and useless and ugly and fat that I literally don't see point in keep living. I feel like failure and no matter what I do or how many success I may have in other people's eyes I feel like I haven't achieve anything and that I will always be miserable which makes me think that it's pointless to keep going and just hope not to wake up tomorrow. It is like I hear two voices in my head one telling me I can do everything I want and the other reminding me the past and the failures thinking 'whatever, what's the point, doesn't worth it anyway'... I don;t know what do anymore I am sick of crying all the time...
Hi, I think you need to go and see your gp. He should be able to help you either with medication or counselling. It sounds like you're depressed. A lot of people on here knows exactly how that feels, me included. You sound a bright young thing.
I don't think that is an option. First I dont feel comfortable speaking especially with a stranger even though I know that is their job as pretty much I do it myself. Also, 2 times I find the courage to book an appoitment with the counselling in uni and both times it got messed one time the time of the appointment and dthe date and the other the place, and as I was suicidal then you can imagine how disaapointing it was. Also, I work in mental health and I will have to disclose to my employer if I get diagnosed with depression or whatever which can cost me my job. So this definitelly is not an option. Not to mention that I feel like no one will understand as all that I have always faced from family, friends or even my partner 'you have no reason to be sad', 'cheer up' and blah blah, but that is not something going on from yesterday or months but ups and downs, especially downs since I was 14...
Sorry to hear all that it must be awful no help from your parent thats strange !
I think its time for you to talk to your GP and demand help now ! You have to start to believe in your self and set some goals,if your boy friend is not willing to help you dump him. Join up with other groups so that you can meet more people and start to exercise to loose wieght. Regain your confidence and look into the mirrow and tell yor self that you are good and also you must love you self. I know money is tight but you must dress smartly and look your best. Stand tal and look at people not away from them, you will start to glow with confidence.
I got divorced many years ago and i was in a hell of a state, i joined up wit parents without partners and a woman said to me do i love my self i said no iam a male, guest what idid that and i change very quickly and i started to believe that i was a good person and it work for me.
Though i do struggle a bit only because of my health and loosing my bussiness that we had, but we still get through it all, my children have move on plus all my grandkids as well, but thats all part of life !
Cheer up you wwill get there,start a new Life.
Best wishes Alex xxx
Thank you for the advice, but I already started new life when I left home my parents, friends, relationship and came to UK to pursue career. I am unconfident in myself thats true but others don't see me that way. I will put a smile on my face go smash my presentation or whatever and then then worry about it and sleep over it all day ad night for a week when no one can see me.
Yes my weight bother me but I don't leave people know about that, my prblems is this constant worry that sometimes is so exsessive that cause me to fail and that sometimes I have the self- believ and then 3 days later I will bedepressed not wantng to do anything hoping to die... My boyfriend can't understand how I feel but that is not a reason to dump him....I can't really explain the way I feel...
I am happy but I am not.. I am constantly worrying about money and work and hours how I will survive next month... and it seems that nothing that I do puts me even a step closer to where I want to be in career path wich makes me feel horrible...