I have been depressed for 4 years since my partner of 20 years finished with me out of the blue I had a bit of depression at the time but not much .she was my life and step kids ever since can't move on.been living with my parents all this but at the moment staying with best friend for 3 weeks first 2 weeks I was a bit of my old self but last 4 days I am worst than ever .thinking of the 24/7 feel my life is over don't want to die but can't cope like this no more I am having talk throughs and on Meds but my head is filled with my .past I miss it so much .it was all I. Wanted I am.very very scared like I said don't want to die but can't cope life .do anyone else feel the same .
Nige
You need to talk out your problems, four years is a long time especially if you had become attached to the Step Kids.
Twenty years is a long time to be with someone and living with your Parents for four years may not have been the best way of moving on. The problem you seem to have now is living with a close friend.
We do not know how old you are, or the age you were when the relationship failed and that would give us some idea of your age and the reasons you failed to Marry. Generally a Relationship of twenty years has been no less an obligation than being married for twenty years. You need is some ways to grieve the loss of a family you had an input with.
You mention you are taking medications and you are also having Talking Therapy. This, CBT should help you approach your sadness and loss and move you on to a better place, coming to terms and addressing the dead end you find yourself in needs rectification with the help of your therapist. It does work given time however both medication and CBT will not work on their own. It is imperative you begin to start up your life again.
Either try attending various activities where you will meet new people that are much the same as you. Where you will meet people of both sexes that have many types of interest the same as yours
Look in the local papers and your GP Surgery may have a list of organisations you could join into.
I was a member of a Mental Health Day Centre, I became involved as an information officer and I would mix with people and make friends there. I also had a dog that went with me and would sit on my knee and that would help people come in and see the dog, the dog actually was an introduction the the centre and help people with their concerns.
BOB
Hi bob thanks for reply 51 when it happen 55 now. The thing is I have been out and about the last few weeks but I still can't get on with out my past and can't take much more I am like a little kid scared to death I am going to die cos it's been to long and I am not strong and I am mental in the head.
You poor bugger, I am so sorry she left you after so long! You need time to rebuild your life, after 4 years she will be doing what do you think? Enjoying her life, without thinking about you! Don't give her a thought, concentrate on rebuilding her life, get your life back on track and access to any kids that are yours. Fight for them and when it gets too tough see someone and let them know it hurts because it's going to. Good luck, you'll need it!
You have grieved on this problem long enough Nige, Consider your ex-Partner She has now moved on and sad to say at fifty five you need to consider your needs and get out of this dead end you find yourself in.
Do you feel there is any chance of a reconciliation ?. If not you are not helping yourself and when we enter mid fifties, in my case sixty eight we really need to consider what our needs are and consider what to do next.
I am really stuck with working out diversions, doing things or hobbies with others. Join Walking Groups, I was a keen Latin Ballroom Dancer when younger in our group there was people like me at twenty/and late fifties and I was out three nights a week dancing. Before I met my Wife I would hill walk, whatever, take on an interest and move on with other like minded people.
Remember your Ex has moved on, so you need to look after your own interests
BOB