Hello, I'm 18, I've had anxiety since I was a child but it got so much more severe when I had a stroke 4 and a half years ago. Recently (I'd say the past 6 months or so perhaps?) I've been thinking about death a lot. I constantly feel like I'm going to die and it's really scaring me. I'm especially anxious about dying in my sleep and having heart attacks/strokes. I've got to a point where it's taking over my life and I'm constantly thinking "what if this day is my last" or "what if I have a stroke/heart attack or collapse and die here?" or "what if I have cancer and I don't know it?". It doesn't really help that, when I get anxious, I get dizzy and I have shortness of breath, a racing heart and chest pain. I've always been overly worried about illness but recently it's been getting worse and worse, to the point where if I even just hear a TV show like Ambulance or other show about illnesses, injuries or hospitals in the background, I think about "what if something like what was happening on that show happened to me" for days or weeks afterwards. I'm also really anxious around what feels like everything. I'm absolutely terrified of getting in a car accident or getting hit by a car to the point where the thought of getting in the driver's seat or walking next to a road makes me panic. I can't go on trains by myself for the fear of falling on the track or getting hit. I get anxious that the house's boiler is going to start leaking carbon monoxide and I and my family will die. It feels like if the chance of death or injury is anything more than 0, my brain always tells me it's near 100%. It's super inconvenient so does anybody have any advice or something on how to manage this sort of thing? Logically speaking I know I most likely won't die but it doesn't stop the thoughts and feelings from being there all the time.
One thing you said was that your brain is telling you it’s near 100% chance. That is the key. Your thoughts are telling you that but thoughts that are negative or not based on fact or reality. They are only based on fear and what if thinking.
i did this for over 30 years! And guess what? Nothing bad ever happened. I wasted all of those years with what if thinking for absolutely nothing. I cannot get back one of those days. I could have spent those days enjoying my life and I did not. Please don’t do this to yourself it’s absolutely not worth it.
i had to retrain my brain. I did get counseling which I suggest that you also do. It helped a lot . you see, when you keep allowing your brain to go to the negative you are training it to do that. So it will automatically go to the negative and to the fear. That’s very unhealthy. it’s a very miserable way to live!
i finally got to the point where I could not live like that anymore. I just decided I was going to take charge of my thoughts.
i actually started conquering fear by facing some things about life. Yes we are all going to die and yes some people die sooner than others. Life isn’t fair but that’s the way it is. nobody is promised tomorrow, However the odds of dying early are very low. The odds are way in your favor that you will live a long time.
i had a choice. I could either sit around worrying about everything in life, what if thinking, feeling horrible or I could except certain facts and go about my life doing things that make me happy. I want to enjoy my life for as long as I can. I’m not wasting another day with fear. every morning I wake up I tell myself what I am grateful for. I go outside and enjoy the beauty of nature, animals, etc. There is so much to be grateful for. Enjoy it!
get on YouTube and search for talks on anxiety or meditations for anxiety. There’s lots of help on there.
get Busy and do some things that you enjoy. Don’t be in your head all the time.
be determined to have a good life. When you get a negative thought, realize that it’s not a part of you it’s just a thought that is meaningless. Watch it drift off and disappear. As soon as you get another negative thought you switch to something positive and happy. Be relentless. Believe me, you will feel a lot better doing that.
LIVE YOUR LIFE!!
@mya63264 Thanks for sharing this. It has helped me to find out I’m not the only one who thinks this way. I had cancer over 10 years ago. It was removed and never came back, but I’m always scared it will. I’ve always been anxious about it coming back or thinking I’m going to die every time I feel ill.
I had these feelings under control, but recently I had a burnout from work/life and I’ve had physical repercussions. Much like you I get the dizziness, chest discomfort and heart rate increase. On top of that I get nausea and a light feeling like I’m going to throw up. I’ve done many tests and now doctors think it’s anxiety. Part of my brain agrees with them but the other part still thinks I’m dying or have something horrible. I started seeing a psychologist and tried changing my mindset and I saw great improvement. But then other things happened and I fell back in this bad thinking loop. It’s really hard to get out of especially when external stressors are constant. I do see a psychologist and it seems I feel better after I speak to her, but she’s not there everyday so you need to find a way to cope.
I feel much better listening to your story and writing this and have some hope. @jan34534 Thank you for you response as well, as I feel I will have that same regret if I let my anxiety take over. It really crept up on me and this burnout has been a nightmare. I just want the nausea to go away so I can eat, exercise and get my life back.
I find that being over stimulated with TV, phone and computer increases the anxiety. So far, reading and deep breathing has been helpful, but again I need a mental shift to get out of these loops as they happen all day long.