boy howdy! I’ve had 4 kids and this recovery is A LOT like postpartum. Only I had NO IDEA I would hurt this much so I didn’t plan for it.
I should preface I had a single external hemorrhoid removed. I was sedated and given anesthesia. I remember nothing after they starting wheeling me towards the OR. the hemorrhoid was a fair size, maybe an inch long, and it had been dangling around for several years. The last time I had a stomach bug and diarrhea, it was swollen and excruciatingly painful. that’s when I decided it had to go.
I’m also 32, in case you’re wondering.
After I woke up in the recovery room, the nurse went over some details with me. one of which was “The notes say resume a regular diet. Really? huh. well ok then”
Should have been a red flag but I’m optimistic. At this point I still thought this would be like removing a skin tag. No big deal.
So I went and ate tacos and came home. I was a little sore.
But that night I COULDN’T SLEEP because I was in such pain. It turns out that I use my butt for everything! Everything puts pressure on the buttthole. laying down. laying on your side standing up. sitting down. EVERYTHING. No relief. It was bad.
The next day I checked my notes and lo and behold there was a prescription for Hydrocodone-Acetaminaphen. vicodin.
Yay. I will feel great now! I get the prescription (still pretty miserable but hopeful that it would be over soon) and I pop a pill. Take 1 every 4 hours.
Still it was a bad night but at least Ibslept some. I woke up twice to take more vicodin. It didn’t cut it but at least I could sleep if I had it.
The next day I took 600mg Ibuprofen (I’m pretty afraid of prescription narcotic med addiction. it’s a real thing and I’d like to avoid it) and I felt pretty good. a little research later revealed that sometimes mixing acetaminophen and ibuprophen worked wonders. (IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING IF YOU SHOULD TRY IT WITHOUT MEDICAL ADVICE NO YOU SHOULD NOT. COME ON! DON’T TAKE PILL ADVICE FROM A WEB FORUM GEE WHIZ)
I felt great until the urge came.
oh my gosh.
Pooping through an area that has been stitched back together is horrible.
You know what I didn’t do the prior 2 days? Read the stupid post op notes. The second page actually read “Start with jello and soup. take a stool softener.”
I did neither. I ate tacos the first day. In my defense, neither the nurse nor the surgeon said “You’re going to want to stick to liquids and mushy foods and pop Docusate 3 times a day from now on”. NOPE NOBODY MENTIONED THAT. And guess what else? NARCOTICS CAUSE CONSTIPATION. My pain meds were actually causing me MORE pain.
Again, I should have read the notes all the way through. But seriously. If they can tell me to wash my whole body with dial soap twice at the office, again in the pre op notes, have a nurse call and make sure I “did a scrub” the night before and morning of the surgery to make sure AND ask during pre op then you would think they would think about some more post op advice and review the suggestions.
I’m on day 4 now. It was harrowing. I did finally have a BM after 2 docusate pills and an enema. YES I HAD TO take a bottle of saline and squirt it up my butt and even then it was a VERY PAINFUL EXPERIENCE. I have always believed in Jesus Christ but I haven’t prayed that much over a situation since there was a death in my family. I am not joking about this. It was bad.
Now I am recovering and probably going to eat nothing much until my anus is healed. It was really horrible.
Moral of this story is: take off more time than you think you need for the surgery, enlist help from family, don’t eat just drink fluids, take stool softeners.
I wouldn’t say that this surgery was a mistake at this point. I think with better attention to my diet I will heal in a few more days. I’m already off the vicodin and I can sleep through the night. I just never want to poop again.