Hello
I am a 25 year old woman who never had a long-term/serious relationship. I used to push the good guys away. And, the ones who I had feelings to, ended up breaking my heart everytime. The last relationship i had ( 3 years ago ) was the most heartbreaking for me, because i was in love and it turned out he couldn't love me the same. Since then, I couldn't have feelings for anyone again. After 2 years of being single, I met this amazing guy who's now my bf. He really cares about me and is really into me, however, I am not sure of my feelings towards him. I care about him as a person but I don't think im attracted to him or has the same feelings he has towards me . I am with him because he's a great companion,a great partner and I believe he's perfect for me. He brings positivity to my life. He's my best friend who I can tell him everything and he's always there for me. I just don't understand why I can't love him. Sometimes, i feel i should break up with him soon so that I won't hurt him later , but I convince myself that oneday my feelings will change. I really don't know what to do about that. I dont wana hurt his feelings and i dont wana lose him either, because i really got used to his existence in my life. Nothing is really exciting me anymore. I feel my heart has became rigid over the years and i m not sure what to do about that.
I hope you could help me understand my situation
thank you
I think that you have put up a barrier and just to scared to take it down. So you body is blocking anything you could be feeling for your boyfriend, try to let your guard down, yes you could get hurt but what if he is the one, only way you will find out us letting whatever is going to happen, happen x
Hello Arya,
I think you have put barriers up because you have been hurt in the past and you are afraid of getting hurt again.
The thing is that not all men are the same. Try not to over analyse things and let your partner in, do not be afraid. Your partner sounds like a treasure, just think if you let your guard down and try to be care free about this you may find out that he is the love of your life and truly is the right one.
Good luck, I hope it all goes well for you both.
Warm regards
Tina
Definitely guarded, councelling is great for these sort of things.
You don't have to be "in love" to love someone.
N
what is it about you that pushes bfs away. What do you think makes this happen.
Richard
Hi there, I was in a similar situation 4 years ago I was with him for a long time and thought we were mutually in love with eachother but unfortunately he turned out to be a bit of a frog...he humiliated me by dumping me publically on facebook...not cool and for a while it hardened me because I wouldn't even look at any man, i had them all tarnished with the same brush.
Luckily for me I met a wonderful man, who was the opposite of this guy and doubted for a while if it would work because he was thoughful, caring and has stuck with me through some tough things, unlike the other guy, it was only then I let the barriers down because I trusted this man who 3 years later is my best friend, my companion and soulmate.
You obviously have trust issues as your feelings have been hurt by this previous person but just remember you are worthy of love and to be loved by this man. Don't let a bad experience block your feelings.
Maybe try something like allocating a day during the week for a date night...that way you can start fresh again and find out fun things about eachother, building trust, taking down the barriers slowly and doing fun things together such as having great food, watching movies, massages whatever your into etc
I really hope this helps x
do not show your emotions, once you start showing, u would see an opposite person, he would care less n u ll end up with a heart break. u want this to last? then control ur emotions n show Only how much is needed at that specific time.
Stop thinking things over so much and get on with enjoying life - the good, the bad, and the marvellous. Life is not about being happy all the time. Time to mature up.