Hi,
I'm 25 yo and i graduated with a master's degree almost 2 years ago. Before i even graduated, realized the course that i studied wasn't what I wanted to do especially that it involves socializing, as well as pushing sales. The reason why i wanted to take the master's course was that i thought i could delay my time to work, as well as to live in a foreign country which i hoped i could become more bold in life. But I didnt really change drastically...
The discipline that I major in is sports which i initially loved becoz i liked to go to the gym and worked out. But i realized it was all about myself and once i got injured (still injured), i felt like i didnt even like to be involved in sports anymore. Moreover, being a fitness coach (the only thing i think im good at) involves a lot of social interactions as well as doing sales. I really dont like to do sales, in the sense that when people start saying no, i would just back off. I think you get the idea.
For the past 7 months before July, i was working as a waiter and again due to social anxiety, i hated it so much. The only thing that kept me going was the money and the urge to buy stuff. Like every now and then, I would shop online and do many upgrades for my computer or get a new phone etc. I would also sell them at a cheaper price which i regret so badly.
Just 1 month ago, I quit the job and now im not doing anything. I know i have to get at least a part time job becoz although i still have enough money to cover my living, it will get dry up eventually (i'd say in 5 months time). But now, i dont wanna work due to being scolded and having to deal with people in general.
Not to mention, i still havent figured out what i want in life, and i'm doing nothing meaningful atm. Its just about watching shows, playing games, eating, sleeping and repeat the same thing which i truly enjoy but feel like im a loser and that my future is bleak. I really wanna do something related to computer but i'm afraid that it will be a tough road to go through since i dont have a degree. Doing sports is the easiest route but i'm not interested in it anymore.
Even when i said that i was interested in computer, i just feel like there's not enough motivation for me to self learn. I could read a page about cyber security and then go back to watching a movie and then play games for the rest of my day. Ah man, sometimes i just feel like closing my eyes and night and never wake up again. I just want a painless ending.