My depression had continued to become worse and worse over the past few months. Almost nothing brings me joy or even makes me not feel disgusting. I cry when I take myself away from all distractions like TV or magazines or music. So I sit and do nothing, hoping that the thoughts will go away, and I hate myself for it. I just make everyone sad or angry when I’m in a mood, which is most of the time. I don’t think I’ll do it. A teenage suicide seems like something that should never happen to anybody. But the urge makes me feel like I’ll explode, and like I can’t trust myself. I’ve never understood how people could kill themselves until now. I’m sorry.
Hi namesreallypip,
We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologise for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.
If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The Samaritans offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.
Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet here: Dealing with Suicidal Thoughts: Where to get help, which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need.
If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you’re going through and will be able to help.
If you are based outside of the UK.
The Samaritans is a UK based charity, but they also have suggestions for how you can access help in other countries.
Please have a look at this page https://www.befrienders.org/directory
Patient
Just curious. How are you doing? That was 2020 and a time to remember.
I just care.
- J