Hey, i am a female living in switzerland 24, i wrote a blog here in the forum but i doesnt work so i hope this will be up 
As i said i am from switzerland so my english will
Be bad! Please dont judge
So, i wanna tell u my story living with mental health disorder because i need someone to talk, help and people who have the same...
I am now in therapy since a view weeks i just started i knew bevore that i have panic disorder anxiety disorder, we found out that i have DP/DR as well (depersionalisation/ derealisation)
Maby i suffer from PTSD, dissociation and OCD..?
So i suffer 4 years and 2 years ago (after a traumatic event that i cant talk about because i cant remember , well just a little) i have started body symtomes 24/7
Dizzines, head pressure, tinnitus with a whooooshing pulsaiting sound, muscle twitches, visionproblems, and and and
Last week i felt fine! Mentaly and everything since 3 days i feel like crap. I feel so weak my arms are so heavy, weak and numb, i cant breathe i make breathing exercise since hours but i dosnt work. I feel like theres no air coming in when i am breathing in.
I feel faint . Sometimes i have this droping sensation like the floo is droping . I also have this in my chest an head its a droping feeling like i am sitting in a airplaine that flies through a airhole?!
When i lay down my anxiety will be worse sometimes i feel like my spin swings from left to right... things are moving in front of me but they dont
I only have a fast heartbeat when i have my period most of the time i have the opposit of ir a low heartbeat and low blood pressure i know low blodpressure is not a bad thing but it scares me! I feeling like i am fainting!
I have this weird feelings in my brain , like foog , woozines , and somethimes it gives me a hit? Dont know ive anybody can understand that hit feeling in the brain.
I checked everything by many doctors all came out fine! And i know i have mental healt issues but i cant belive. I try so hard but i cant
I have so many things... migraine, with and whitout aura... we dont know ive i have seizures because sometimes i have this weird seizure like whatever that happens to me... in this moments i have auras end then i hear a loud noice and my brain is going crazy... maby paychogenic seizure?? Does anybody know something about this seizures?
As i said i have had a traumatic event since then i am so different
I feel so sorry for my boyfriend because sometimes when he speaks to me i dont listen or hear... i knew when it happens so i alwasy said " sorry i didnt listen" hes not mad but i feel so sorry...
I have this thought, pictures of random things in my head making no sence and it freaks me out.
Sometimes i have thoughs like i am going crazy or hurting my self or my loved ones like my boyfriend or my cats
I WOULD NEVER HURT THEM!!! I love animals and i am a carring person but there is always a what if
WHAT IF THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF A BIGGER MENTAL HEALTH ISSUE LIKE SCHIZOFRENIA
WHAT IF U ARE A BAD PERSON DEEP INSIDE
WHAT IF THAT IS TRUE WHAT U ARE THINKING
WHAT KF U ARE LOOSING CONTROL
Jd eulskevvrlxhfbrbsms d bla bla bla
I am so afraid of going crazy or schizofrenic or whatever... i am SO AFRAID...
I cant wait to have a diagnosis but i know i will not belive it !! I try so hard to belive my therapist but i cant..
Worst thing is i cant take medication (has to do with my trauma ) i am SOOOO afraid of medication i know it is funny!!! I am afraid of taking my vitamins so afraid that when i take them i will have a full blown panicattac....
I feel like something is wrong with me. My brain , my body...
Because some symtomes comes only in special times of the month... i only have this kind of seizures when i have my ovarial...
I dont know what i have, i feel so weak , dizzy, weird feelings in the back of my head right now...
I hope u understand i would love to write with somebody...
Do u feel the same thing...
Do u have good weeks /days and the next morning everything is bad?
DP/DR is such a grose thing to me i feel like i am in space i am not here i look in the mirror and i see myself but i dont feel its like myself...
I live in a dream. Sometimes when i am in a place that i really know good i have this feeling of "it looks so different" Sometimes i am afraid of my boyfriend because he looks like normaly bute different dont know how to tell u...
I am afraid of everything and i hope i will get better... can i get better whitout medication??
Thank u so much i feel so sorry for this messed up all over the place , bad written english post but i hope u understand...
Greetings