Please bare with me as I explain this the best I can, I feel really lost and trapped like sometimes I cant think literally. Iv got both ocd and anxiety disorder and I feel like im failing myself, 2 years ago, I was able to do tasks properly without having to think, now my mind either goes blank or overthinks, I ussd to be able to absorb info pretty quick, be on the alert and just understand things normally, now I feel like my brain activity is sooo slow, I sometimes switch of cuz I go completely blank, this is really upsetting me cuz I want to go to university to study, but I feel like im the dumbest in the class and I have no idea what im doimg, im basically winging it, I dont want to, but I dont know whats going on, I have a passion for sciene, but my minds tricking me saying im not supposed to be here, I tend to have selective hearing when the lecturer is speaking. Know one understands, I was never like this before, I dont know what to do, my minds trynna convince me to jump out the window, I literally feel brain dead, in lessons my mind just goes, if you died right now, itll be fine, ur brain dead anyway, I keep crying in class cuz its all overbearing, and I dont want people to think im attention seeking, I just dont know whats going on, I feel like my brains rewired and just completely been switched into somthin else, I get pains in my head, like a tight, pressured sensation, I wanna get ran over but the other part of me is saying no, my therapy sessions are useless and pointless, Im really gone, she (the therapist) says that I shouldnt pay too much thought to the intrusive thoughts, I dont know how though, she doesnt really help me much , and I dont feel comfortable talking to her anymore, theres not much I can do as therapy is kinda hard to get and im basically stuck with the one that I got so itll be a waste of time changing, I do give up on life, I really cant go on, im too exhausted, tired and lost, I just need help asap. Everyone in lesson now seems to understand things, im stuck behind, its hindering my goals I have prepared in life as I need to listen and understand for my assignments. Idk.
Hi Nicole, I am so sorry that you are suffering with such anxiety and depression. You should visit your family doctor or a psychiatrist. Medication may be the best way to go for you. You sound like you are having a terribly difficult time concentrating which is causing more anxiety about school. A family doctor or psychiatrist can work on prescribing the right medication for you. If you do not trust your therapist then you should really work on finding another one, even if it is difficult. Also maybe try You Tube and find some mindfulness videos. You can get better, but it will take time and work. I wish you all the best. (((Hugs)))
Oh Nicole, I am so so sorry. School is so difficult with anxiety and depression. I’m in grad school now (for counseling lol), and I feel like I’m falling behind already. I don’t have much advice to offer, just wanted to let you know there’s someone else out here too. I just lay in bed and cry most of the day and text my mom. Then I go to my job working at a mental health personal care home and wondering when they’ll finally put me in an institution. It’s really miserable. I hope you and your counselor can work something out. Do you have a doctor who could prescribe medication?
Hi Nicole. This is so awful. I am going through something similar to you at the moment. I also have what I can only describe as a voice in my head telling me that everything I'm doing is not real and that it's pointless to eat, to go about my day to play and interact with my own children and my partner and family.
I can have moments in the day where I'm thinking more clearly but then in the evenings it happens again. I am however on medication and have been for 6 weeks. So I have had better days. I am also in therapy and find a lot of comfort from that and being around my family. Also I am going to try to go to bed a little earlier because sleep can help a lot to rest our minds. My advice to you would be to get to your doctor and get diagnosed then take it from there. Medication isn't for everyone there may be other options.
Good luck. Always here if you need to chat.