Hi can anybody help me I feel so low and sad that I don't want to be here anymore can you tell me if this is the drug isn't working or is it just me I've lost my mum and my dad and my nephew in the last four years and the doc says that it's not the tablets it's just that I'm grieving but im not so sure anymore
please help Nicky
Nicola please stick with it girl. I know grief is really pain please stay with it richard
It does work Nicole. I been on it a over a year and has change my whole feeling that I don't sink to the basement of despair .anymore
How do you explain it to the people around you when they just think your being really miserable all the time and how long does this pain take before it subsides
Nicky, there are no magic pills to take away the pain or grief of depression. I really wish there was. In my experience, I feel the same feelings on mirtazapine, but feel more rational in my thoughts. I still feel pain, emotions of every kind. It is just more manageable. I hope this helps. I wish my pain would go away but it never will. We just have to try our best to think things through. We are pressured to be perfect and cope with things but we have to just be ourselves and accept that things are tough. Life is not perfect and never will be for anybody. x
Grief can take several years to subside, acute grief can stay with you much longer. Being in pain isn't the same as being miserable, but can seem that way to others. Grief makes you look back and never forward so I guess you lose hope in that sense. You need things to look forward to even if they may seem trivial. Keeping a diary helps so you can see positive things you've done recently however small (getting up, going for a walk, listening to the radio). The pain will lessen but you just can't force it, be aware of it, but try not to fight it. It will get easier.
Hi Nicola,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss, you are going through so much, please ask god to come into your life and lift you up. I dont know if you are a christian or not, but i know when i lost my mum i went through depression and its painful process. Please ask Jesus to come into your life and do a Sinners Prayer for salvation and Jesus will help you and you will feel better, please have hope, your god loves you and he will be your father. God bless you.
Hi Nicola
you must be really struggling as I'm sure most would if it had happened to them. The tablets should help,how long have you been on them? They took about 3 weeks to work for me. Do you see a councillor to talk with, if not I would advise you do. Grieving us a slow hard road, hope you get through this,try to get through.
Thanks Debbie this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do aswell as dealing with depression and anxiety I also have all this grief to cope with I'm seeing a private counsellor every week at the moment and she's brilliant I've been on 45mg mirtzapine now for about two months after they were upped from 30 mg but I just wish my heart would stop breaking x
Hello, from what you've written regarding the recently passing of close family, you could well b grieving which is natural. Perhaps your dose might need increasing, perhaps. Have you asked for counseling?
Hi Sara yes I have counselling every week and according to the doc I'm on the highest dose on the tablets so she just says that im grieving and the tablet will only work so much x
Hi Nicola
I tried sending you a message but I don't thnk it got sent as it was pale grey in colour.
you're grieving just now. When someone does, you're kept busy and the adrenaline is flowing as there is the funeral, lawyers and lots of pele phoning. You're working on automatic pilot and don't have a lot of time to think. People also tend to make more of,a fuss of you and contact you more tha. Dual right after the finer, with phone calls and invitations but gradually that stops and things get,back to normal and the. Our mind hs time to think and it suddenly dawns on you that they're not coming back and there's this terrible void. Some people cope by talking about those they've lost, whilst others find that upsetting.
ou're bound to miss them and there's this big hole in yor life. If you didn't miss them, that would mean they meant nothing to you, which is just not true. Although you can't see them, because they loved you, they're watching over you.
I'm on 45 mg too and its working so far, just scared the body will get used to hit and I will hit the brick wall again. Glad you've got counselling, talking will help. Hold on in there xx
Hi Nicola
i sent it by mistake as I hadn't quite finished. The antidepressants will take 4-6 weeks to have any effect.it may be that, like me, the GP hasn't given you th one that's right for you, or the dose may need to be increased. You need to go back to your GPwho may refer you to a psychiatrist where you have time to talk to someone.
there's no point in saying to you that eventually you will have happy memories because you're in a nightmare just now but what you need is help. Also have a look on the internet/you tube about grief counselling.
best wishes
nessie
sod what others think. your hurt and bereaving you need to be selfish and look after you. You need some one to counsel you thru this trauma not people calling you miserable. People are so quick to judge. Pablo makes some great ideas about diarying everything too so you can remember the good times
Thanks at least I think I know I'm not going crazy I miss my family so much everyday my sister and my brother have just got on with their lives like as if nothing has happened but they never put their life on hold for four years like I did when my father died after six days with pancreatic cancer and then my found out she had ovary cancer and I between putting my mother through all the treatment I lost my nephew who was 21 who just dropped dead in the street and this was my sisters son who died 23 years ago in her sleep that I never really got over . They say God only gives you as much as you can take but losing my mum a year after losing my nephew was just to much and I ended up having a nervous breakdown and I'm still struggling now x
thanks Sara that means a lot
Im just putting this out here , but 45mg Mirtazapine made me more depressed and suicidal. I am not suggesting this is happening to you but its defiently worth keep your symptoms logged with doctor. I know another person Dondon 3 is also have some challenges with it too.
Its always worth giving it a chance but not to the dtriment of your well being.
Thanks Jimmy I though about dropping my tablets to 30 mg cause they may be masking the grieving process I will defo ask the doctor this week
So sorry you feel like this. How long have you been on the?