i feel i cant snap out of it

Mental health
1

im 30, i had to leave abroad for a few years for work purposes. a couple of months ago the docs told me my ovaries are not working any more and im infertile.  i tried with hormones to see if i can freeze eggs , but it didnt happen. during that time, my mum was diagnosed with cancer. had surgery, and now will undergo a few rounds of chemo. 

the doc gave me antidepressants but they make my stomach feel horrible. and ive taken so many meds the past few weeks, im not feeling good about it. ive decided to ask my job to give me a few months off, i doubt they will. so i can stay and help my parents. i wish i could stay here forever but there are no jobs...

also, my dads sister keeps reminding me what a failure i am and what a waste of space i am (i am adopted) and instead of lending us money i should go and get a second and third job to help my parents because i 'owe my life to them'

its been 2 months now its all been going on, and ive lost the will to live. i dont see anything positive about my life. my appetite has decreased, i dont go out...im a mess. its all too complicated at the moment and my life seems to be at a pause status. i cant make any decision and it all seems to become worse day by day.

2

live abroad*

3

I am so sorry you have to go through this. Are you alone or do you have friends?? Good idea to ask for leave for a few months to help your mum. Are you close?? I can’t believe the words of your dads sister. People can be so so unkind. I would suggest some counseling as you have some big decisions up ahead.  Don’t believe what some bitter aunt is saying to you , you are not a waste of space!!! Sending you Love and blessings 

4

im kind of alone at the moment. my best friend just had a baby, my other good friend is 8 months pregnant and my other good friend just got engaged and moved to the other side of the city and his gf doesnt really allow him to leave house often lol. im not in the mood to even leave my room, let alone go out. i was bubbly and funny and now i just burst out crying when i leave the house. i went to a christening the other day and had to leave because i started crying. im seeing a therapist but you know...this takes time. once per week is nothing. my job is 4 hours by plane away. so..im either going to lose that job or will need to leave during my mums chemo. they wont give me more than 2 months off.