I feel im loosing it!

Hi all, wonderful to read so many items relating to perimenapause symptoms . Im waiting for a blood test this week to confirm whether thats what i have.

I feel I cant connect with anyone emotionally any more, Im sad and depressed most the time, I get angry at the drop of a hat, I dont wish to be a mum anymore, thought about ending it all for a quieter life! I feel nobody understands how im actually feeling. I have allienated people lately and im worried things might spill over into my work life. Im on school holidays, but a holiday is far from how it feels with a hyperactive non compliant child, I dread this time of the year. Period several weeks late and def not pregnant, feel like im going to get a period I have all the symptoms and the pain but it doesnt come, im bloated constantly and moody constantly it doesnt end.

Ruth

Hi

I am having the same symtoms as you.I just want to be left alone,I spent last night crying but I couldn't tell you what over because I don't know!I have put on over 25 pounds in weight and look like I am 7 months pregnant. People don't understand unless they are going through it themselves. Please have a chat with your doctor about how you feel and remember you are not alone.Love Millie

Dearest Ruth

Have you sought help. Seems like you need Rith time, someone who is totally impartial.

Are you taking any tablet? I was feeling like you and then was put on fluoxetine did a while. I tried a year without being on it for a year. Was doing ok but stress at home caused me to go down hill. My anxiety hit the roof affecting not only me but all of those around me.

I know many people do not want to become dependent on a tablet but you have to ask yourself what is more important here.

I have dealt with depression and anxiety, not only mine but my daughters as well.

Please find the strength to help yourself. You are not alone and we are hear to listen to you and help you, but the first push must come from you.

X

Ruth, I was relieved when I learned that I was in perimenopause because a happy, content person doesn't do a 360 for no reason. Your not alone, and you will find some comfort here with all of who understand♡ post anything, and were here for you! Prayers and Peace to you! Xo

Hi Ruth Im having that type of day as well. Is there maybe a recreation summer class that your child can go to once or twice a week to give both of you a little break? Maybe an art class or craft class....do you have Michaels where you live? They offer things like that. It sounds like you are starting to leave perimenopause and head into menopause. That would be great for you. I will be praying for you today, try and find something comforting to do. Take care!

So many of your symptoms are exactly like mine. Seems like I start to accept and then something new will pop up. On top of all the craziness I have learned to live with over the last 7 years I recently found out I have chronic Afib  am just so tired of all this. What scares me is it may never end!

Hi Natacha

I have had depression over the years on and off, to which i have taken antidepressants but normally i stop taking them after a few weeks as i start to feel better. I know this is wrong and i should stay on them for at least a year the GP said, but im scared i might get addicted to them. It also affects ones sex drive the medication which is a big minus point.

thank you for replying to me

I hope things are going well in your life

Ruth

Ruth 

Hi Colleen

thanks for replying to me

Im sure many women are suffering the effects of either the peri or full on menopause . Ive always had a bit of a short fuse due to way back issues, but the intensity of my moods and lack of empathy almost with my family is quite astounding to me, i can only reflect on this when i am in a neutral mood as i am at the moment, yesterday i was a crazy woman again! husband came back with child from trip out id just washed the floors, middle of hoovering the house, i didnt say hi just get in shoes off keep off the floors! i had to fninsh the job i started without interruption.

Take care Colleen i hope all is well in your life

Ruth

Thank you for your lovely wishes and peace to you to

Hi Becky

Yes daughter does go to clubs when she is in the mood to go! i cant always get her there. Michaels? can you explain  further please. Yes im wondering if i have jumped into the menopause, just waiiting for blood test results to come back. My periods have been all over the place for several years, and ive had crazy PMT for the last 10 years with heavy periods, I just have to wait and see as they say. Being active either in the house or going to the gym or something i find really helps, i do this when i can as life is almost too much to keep doing sometimes without some rest bite of some kind. Husband has  no idea he just thinks ive gone crazy, but he knows ive had trouble with my cycle for years. Best of wishes to you Becky hope all is well. Thanks for replying to me

Ruth

Hi Cass

I know chronic pain can be awfull to deal with on a daily basis, I can empathise with you on this one, life emotionally can be so cutting and throw so much negative stuff at you , you wonder if it will ever end. I do look at others and think why are they sailing through life so easily? and i cant work it out. However negativity i know is bad it drags us back from moving forward in our lives, so im trying to stay positive when i can! I find having enough energy very challenging i think its more emotionally based than physical, but things dont get done do they unless the women take the captains position in the house. I cant stand mess it drags me down and messes with my brain, i have to keep some type of order and control to stay focused and motivated.

I wish you all the best Cass thanks for replying to me

Ruth

Hi Ruth,

Michaels is a craft store that offers craft classes for children and adults. As far as blood test they dont always give the proper results so dont get worried if the doctor says your not in perimenopause. You know yourself best. Have a great day and take some time to relax I will be praying for you!

Hey Ruth.

Wrong what u r doing.

You need to think that anti depressants are not the enemy. Like you due to the circumstances in my life I had to go on them. I went on fluoxetine and used it for 5 yrs, after my baby boy died. Then I thought it was time to get off them as I felt more in control. I went on St. John's wart and it helped as well.

Then got off them too.

Unfortunately life is constantly throwing things at you that are hard to be able to deal with.

We women are strong and try to be in control, but every superhero needs a boost.

People with a health issue will become reliant on something. Mental health is a health issue and the only way you can deal with it is by looking after it. I have a friend who is bipolar and she took a while to accept that she had to be on the meds. When she would come off them she would say hey! Look I'm ok. But believe me she would go on a rampage.

The fact that you are not only dealing with depression alone at our age by not taking them you are not doing yourself any favours.

Menopause/Peru menopause takes a massive toll on you. Like pregnancy your hormones are all over the place and after it as well.

Look I am not advocating for people

To take tablets but sometimes due to the circumstances in your life, menopause, family life, relationships, work and so on it becomes unbarable to be able yo think straight.

In regards to the sex drive, that is down to menopause as well. Perimenopause kills your libido. I stayed 6 yrs with no action due to it. Once I became fully menopausal my libido came back. Also because I met my yummy man. Like u in September last year I went cold turkey and came off fluoxetine. At first felt great but then work, kids' issues, problems witty sciatica, stomach issues began to mount again and I went down hill. But this time it was anxiety and there isn't anything worse than feeling anxiety. Anxiety also comes from menopause. I remember my mum suffering as I was and I said no way. Went to the GP and she prescribed me citalopram. Small does but does the trick.

Afraid of becoming addicted to something is hard, but people are addicted to something in some sort of way. Alcohol, chocolate, fags, eating, sports, video games....

As I said perimenopause is the worse part of the journey, menopause a bit calmer nonetheless the circumstances in your lie aggravate how you feel and sometimes u don't even need circumstances, you just fall

Into a pit. You go on meds come off the circle starts again.

If you have on and off depression it will

Continue on and off, like a switch something will trigger it off and boom! Back I the pit.

Believe me no amount of shopping, great family life, job, etc.... Will work to switch it off. Depression is like a black cloud that is constantly over your head. Like a black cloud when the son comes out it fades and u feel better with the sun on your face, but it is always in the background. Only you can find a away to deal with it. Like your GP said give it a chance, or find an alternative to help yourself.

You have to think of your well being, because if you are on and off ok things around you will be the same.

I had a friend and my sister who were dead against it. But circumstances made them seek help and they are both on something and they just caved in.

Unfortunately we live in a reality where crap happens day in day out and we carry more than we can. The stresses we need to deal with are overwhelming. Driving is stressful, loads of idiots on the road. People at work stress you out, kids etc... I am on 20 mg of citalopram and it is the only tablet I take nowadays. Sex drive dries out with menopause but it comes back.

Give it a try if you really see that you can't cope. Your sanity and well being is worth it.

Hi Natacha

thank you for your lengthy reply and im sorry for the loss

of your son it must have been an extremely difficult time for you and your family xxx

ling right for roughly 19years, I went to see the GP before about Thyroid function, border line test results this was several years ago. Had blood test results back today they confirm that I have to see GP regarding thyroid function which I can only assume is low and i will have to be on daily life medication for, seeing gp in september. Ive been doing DR google! today and i have every symptom it mentions! including depression , which i believe my GP should have kept an eye on considering the results several years ago. I am quite annoyed i was not monitored more closely by the GP. ANother effect of the underactive thyroid is heavy or irregluar periods to which ive had for ages, so everything is making a lot of sense to me now, so its not as i thought the menopause no markers for this found, I still have no period nearly 3 weeks late now!

I will go on medication for depression if the GP thinks it will help, as i need to get out of the cycle which you desribed earlier ie build up of things then boom you feel rock bottom again!

My family have taken so much stress off me lately im glad there is something actually wrong with  me so to speak! ie the marker found on the blood test .I will wait and see what the GP has to say and take it from there.

I will get the help i need to stay focused and calm

take care and thanks for taking the time to reply to me

Ruth

Hi Becky

TY for explaining Michaels to me I got the prelimary results today blood test results its my thyroid ! which was border line several years ago. I have every symptom linked with it as i asked DR google today! Im a tad annoyed the GP didnt keep an eye on me more closely post the first test i had done.

Im going to see the GP early september. Still no sign of my period but this is in line with thyroid issues too, so im not overly worried now. Just glad they actually found something 'wrong' so to speak.  

NO marker for menopause as yet, but i def know im going through the peri at present.

take care Becky thank you for reply

Ruth  

I started synthroid last week, and feeling good. The synthroid could take months to become effective, so maybe my hormones are behaving???I'm far from normal, but not really down the past few days. I'm sure this will come to an abrupt end soon

Hi Colleen, Im so glad to hear that you are feeling better Have a great day

Hi Millie

not sure if i informed you but the blood test came back as an underactive thyroid with no markers for the menopause, but i know i have been suffering the peri for a numnber of years now. going back in sept hopefully to start some medication. I too have gained so much weight particularly under the boobs down to bottom of belly some days i look like im carrying twins! get a blood test Millie see whats going on

take care

Ruth

Hi Colleen

i think the meds can take months to be effective in some women and they need to get the dosage correct. According to the side effects of the meds I already have all the symptoms listed! im hoping the medication when i get it will counter act them. Im sure you will settle down soon and feel more 'normal ' again.I havn't felt normal for years! prob due to this thyroid thing which the GP didnt keep an eye on years ago, as it was border line then!

Take care

Ruth

Hi

I'm due to have a blood test next week.At least you know whats wrong.All the best.