I feel like I am reaching breaking point

Mental health
1

Hello.

I just need some kind words and advice.

I lost my job on Thursday. Afterwards, I had a breakdown while driving home - it ended up with an ambulance being called and I had to be seen by a psychiatric team.

I am still struggling to come to terms with this, but I now feel like everything is getting on top of me. I have constant headaches, my shoulders and neck are so stiff, I am struggling with my insecurities, and I feel like screaming and hitting myself.

My other half is out with his friends today, and won't be back until later. He asked me to come over so I will be there when he gets home, but I am teetotal and dislike drinking and the effect it has on people (bad experience in past).

I've suddenly gotten the urge to just never see him again, and have now told him as much. He is aware of my issues, but it isn't fair on him anymore.

I know this is probably my depression, anxiety, insecurities all mixing together and creating a distructive cocktail, but I hate feeling like this and wonder if there is anything I can do to make it stop?

I've tried councelling, medication (I am on medication now), exercise, but nothing seems ot work. I have this pent up frustration and I just want to hate myself and make everyone go away and it really is starting to reach breaking point.

I am pushing friends and family away, I don't feel like I deserve to be treated nicely and have kindness or help. I don't want to be this person anymore but I can't seem to change because my emotions get so intense.

If anyone has any advise, please share it. Anything that can make this get better.

 

2

Hi Kage,

its difficult to know what to say, no one can understand except you the pain you are going through, you read so many people on here that are desperate for help.

i dont really know what to say but I thought if I at least say hello you might realise that At least someone has heard you. The only advice  i can say is to try and talk with someone, maybe if you cant talk to your immediate family then perhaps soneone on here. It sounds trite but I think many people underate talking thinking it does no good. I think we all have to offload,meven if it seems that it will do no good. Others dont often have the abswers but just openeding up and offloading can sometimes be a comfort and often, if people listen then you can sometimes see things in a different light.

dont give up with people especially your friends. Maybe sometimes its not easy to talk to them... I dont know. Sorry if this doesnt sound like much help, just dont want you thinking you are on your own .

3

I agree with blushplums.  Good luck and start loving yourself.

4

Perhaps "talking" to other sufferers on this forum will help to ease your frustrations, and persuade you that you are not alone in feeling how you do. All I can advise is to give the medication a chance, and reach out wherever you can for support. I do know how you feel. When my daughter and I were both suffering from depression, we formed a "club" together and my son made us badges. It was called DAWGAs which stood for Depressives Against the World. Go Away! It cheered us a little at the time! Also remember that depression has it's ups and downs. You won't always feel so bad.

5

Thank you. Reading this has helped immensely!

6

Thats nice Kage i really hope that you can keep talking. Please feel free to chat if you would like to. Take care,

chris x

7

Hi there

I'd just like to add my voice to say that you have been heard, I don't have answers, just love and prayers.  I'm bipolar and at my worst was hospitaised in a psychiatric unit for five weeks.  The meds really helped but it took a long time for them to find a combo that worked.  What really kept me going was friends, one in particular, who visited me every day in hospital.  Perhaps try not to push yours away, they can be a strong support and source of love.

I send you my very best wishes and remember, you do deserve the love and companionaship peoople give you, you are a special person

Lizzie