i'll try and keep short but i opted out of visiting a relative today, which i have otherwise done so every sunday for a number of years, quite often out of guilt and a feeling of being expected to. Anyway, I have had a rough week with being unwell along with other anxieties so really wanted just to relax and recover this weekend, so suggested visiting on another day. This was met with silence so now i feel awful about it. Am i being selfish or overthinking it?
you are absolutely NOT being selfish! You have been generously giving your time every week for years to your relative.
thats way more than most people do. now you just needed to relax and recover. they should understand and not take you for granted. its ok to say no. dont feel guilty, youve done nothing wrong. its time to take care of you!
no, not selfish at all. your relative might feel quite desperate but they cannot expect you to constantly be the hero. That’s not fair to you. one hard lesson I learned raising a special needs child is I need to come first or I cannot begin to properly care for my child. sometimes you need to come first or you literally cannot help someone else!!
No you’re definitely not being selfish! Sometimes these routines need to have a change as in changing the day from time to time or sometimes just popping in to other times staying for a couple of hours. Enjoy your weekend to yourself …
thank you. i would like to clarify they are able bodied and not living alone, so there is no dependency on me or anything like that.
thats all the more reason for you to spend alone time when you need to.
All the more reason Luke to shake it up a bit, change days and times to suit you as well as them, it does feel a bit strange at first but in the long run it takes that anxiety away from you and remember that nothing stays the same 