I read so many posts about hot flashes moods irritatability . is ANYBODY else completed debilitated with fatigue and the darkest depression ???
Why do I feel like I’m the only one going through this ?
Who else has gone to bed whilst it’s still light outside ? I have for 5 months !
Who else has considered ending it all?
Hot flashes are NOTHING compared to this .
Yeah I had it bad , it seems to stop after 6 months .. So look for it to end about then, maybe a month or so more of it , if you've gotten past 5 so far, should start to lift next month..
I have been through this phase 3 times during last 5 years. I am in middle of third one. But the intensity and negative thought are in down hill at the moment. I am completely with you. Please write this on a paper "It shall pass" and put in on your wall. Be strong and keep writing. Lots of love.
Hi Lori,
I completely understand where you are coming from. The deep depression of perimenopause has absolutely floored me! I have NEVER experienced anything like this in my entire life, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone!
I have been going through this for the last year. I am almost 50, and my periods are really seeming like they are starting to peter out, so I am praying that I am near the end of all of this.
I am a business owner, an athlete, and a real go getter, but I feel like a shell of my former self. It is almost as though I have died, but then I see myself emerge once again. I hold onto any times when I feel well, but it is so hard when the debilitating depression hits again.
Just know that so many women are suffering, just as you are, and we are all just doing the best that we can to get through this awful, hideous time in our lives.
If all that was required was strength and perseverance, I would have beaten this by now, I can assure you. This hormonal assault is so difficult to understand, fix, fight, or whatever else you are trying to do.
I would take ANY physical complaint over this depression! I have felt completely detached from others, from myself, and from my life. It has been scary beyond belief. My only consolation is that I have massive support from my boyfriend, my mother, and some dear and close friends. Without them, I don't know where I would be.
Please feel free to private message me. I know, from my perspective, that it truly helps to communicate with someone who absolutely gets it.
I remember in a previous post when you stated that women having to go through this ordeal is a crime. I couldn't agree more with you.
Sending you support and understanding.
Bev
Lori
you are not the only one for sure we are in the 25% but you're not the only one I'm there with you so is Bev and the other ladies.
Completely understand what you're going through and it may be a couple of phases of it part 1 part 2 part 3 but it can't be constantly down that's just not morally or cosmically Fair.
I'm with you.
Xoxoxo
I am.
I've now been going through it for around 3 years and I'm 46.
It's horrible and I am a completely different person. I hate it but I have to try and carry on for the sake of my children mainly... I am hoping one day I'll regain my former self a little.
AJ. 😔x
Hi Lori, You know me already on here as always complaining about being tired and dizzy. I am exhausted at a cellular level too...can be in the middle of something and have to stop immediately because I think I am going to drop. The, my anxiety kicks in and I get dizzy, off balanced. I go to bed some nights and am shocked when my eyes open the next day. Not yawning tired though... I do not sleep all day. I do the housework, get the kids and pets situated and retreat up to my room and read, etc. At 41, I feel lazy and guilty, wish I could do more, but I physically cannot right now. All the other parents are doing stuff and going places, why the hell am I suffering so much? It bothers me because I was always going a mile a minute. Mind you, I have been on an AD for 3 months. I’m better, not great though. we should start the metoo thing, like all these celebrities. I know you are feeling in the dumps lately, please do not let it eat you up. Keep posting to vent your feelings...you may just be helping someone else who is responding to you 😉. I wish we all lived closer...can you just imagine the support group we would have.
I have been there. I take HRT and it really helped me along with an anti-depressant. I am 62 years old, I have been on it since 50 years old. The benefit of a better quality of life outweighed any risks for me.
I have! I still fight the deep dark depression and death thoughts that everything is killing me, Plus I am now 61 and all I think is old old hopeless no good for nothing , too old for anyone to hire me , to old for family espically your adult children to care anything about you! It's a lonely and end world for old folks like myself ! It's like I'm NO GOOD for nothing now it all down hill dark and gloomy and suffering is all you will get or have crying and fighting is all we have on our side BUT the battle to too hard and over powering I guess I'll have to learn to ride the waves and see which one wipes me out!
Yes I tried BHRT for 2 months it did help a little with the fatigue but did nothing for my mood so came off a week ago . It was giving me acne and made me very bloated .I’m giving it another week and if I don’t feel better and the mood thing is nothing to do with the BHRT then I’ll go back on it .
Ah thank you lou! Yes getting through each day when you don’t feel in control of your body is so tough .... it’s like all of a sudden you are not YOU ... like you’re a different person . And I don’t like this different person 😖
Proud of you for getting all your family and house in order ... I too try to keep up but it’s like your dragging a massive boulder around all day ... this sucks !
Yes at 52 and recently divorced don’t work no kids just a little cat ... thinking so negatively and wondering ... what is next ?
I want so badly to feel normal again and get my mind back . All we can do is hope 🙏🏻
Oh thank you gypsy ! Yes it started about 7 months ago whereby I couldn’t get out of bed felt spaced out and so lethargic then 5 months ago completely crashed .
Ok so I have one month to go .... yeah !!
I’m going to believe you as it’s the only hope I have right now .
Yes trying to remain optimistic praying a lot and just barely getting through each day ... completely alone . I’ll never forget this time in my life .... going to get the paper out right now and do that! Power of positive thinking !
Hi Bev
So glad you have good support around you ... I think part of my problem too is being completely alone day in and day out ... I have to stay really strong .
Even when I do go out with friends I feel spacey like I’m not completely present .
Being alone hasn’t bothered me in the past but now .... boy it’s tough.
If I can get through this ....like you I’m a strong person but I think ‘this’ can and has destroyed the strongest and most positive women .
Hopefully we can come back better than ever knowing the worst is over . And yes I went through this at 41 my first crash . I got through it with time .. but you get sick of fighting it ! It’s exhausting !
I hear you! Feel like I have cement legs walking up the stairs. I love to read and do it a lot these days. My favorite author wrote a book last year. It is about all of the women in the world coming down with a “ disease” that hits and causes them to sleep. They are in cocoons and if they are disturbed...all hell breaks loose. Basically, how would the world operate without women. I’m ordering it...cannot wait to read it. I think unknowingly he is writing about menopause 😀
Hang in there I can tell you there is a light at the end of the tunnel I still go through ups and down sometimes and some of the symptoms all of what you just explained and more I went through the night sweats then I would freeze to death I went through the burning tongue I went through dry eyes dry mouth dry nose I went through the stomach flopping around as if I had a baby kicking around in there I went through anxiety panic attacks depression I had times I didn't want to leave the house I didn't want to be around people I felt doomed like something was going to happen all the time I went through sleepless nights I went through the dryness of the private part up and down weight loss my shoulders aching my elbows my wrist I developed bursitis carpal tunnel you name it I think I've experienced it hang in there majority of the symptoms to go away mines will peek out every now and again but I'll get up and get to moving around get myself busy praying for all of us
I always considered myself to be a very strong person. Had a bad childhood, alcoholic father, valium addicted mother married multiple times, lots of strep throats as a child, bad mono that I was hospitalized for as a teen, lost all of my hair from alopecia at age 17, had meningitis in my early 20s, lyme disease twice, hard childbirth with complications, but nothing, and I mean nothing, has knocked me on my arse as bad as perimeno. It hit me out of the blue. If you read any of my posts back from two years ago you will see that I asked the same thing as you, I didn't think anyone could be suffering as bad as me. I really thought I was checking out. I lost 30 pounds, was a shaking skinny sickly woman with so many symptoms it was unreal. You wouldn't believe it if I named everything I went through. The only thing that kept me somewhat sane was knowing that others were going through the same thing as me. I think some of us just get hit with everything, while some get a few things, but all experiencing symptoms that are making our lives miserable enough. I'm still not completely back to who I used to be, I probably never will be, it has been that life altering for me, but I'm determined to stay on this forum and give some encouragement to others to hang in there.
There are many women who had the exact same symptoms as you, but have gotten better and don't post as much here anymore, but I know they are out there. Please know that we all understand!
XOXO
Wow Monique you’ve been through so much ! Can’t believe you’re still standing !
The little things don’t bother me too much ... I’ve had the sweating flashes dry eyes ringing in ears . Can handle all of that .
I just feel like I’ve lost my spirit .. which I’m sure many women on here feel that way too.
All I think when I wake up ... is how many hours until I can close the curtains again and go to bed . I’ve watched so much tv seen everything twice or thrice ..... helped me get through this though . It’s a lonely old road .
Well that would be a solution to all of this ! Put us in cocoons until we feel better and things have leveled out .
We should as women be treasured not left to waste away like this . We should have help on every corner of every street. It’s all a crapshoot ... hopefully there will be a cure for this so the young women of today dont have to go through this .