I found out my bf gave me herpes in March. I was devastated. I’m still learning to cope. I still struggle with feeling that there will not be much opportunity for a full life after this. Although I stayed with him my relationship has gotten worse. I try not to resent him, but I do. I acknowledge my fault in it but still. He’s continued to cheat on me at least twice I know of. It hurts me so much, but I fear if I leave then what? No one will want to be with me once I tell them. We even had an argument in which he almost slapped me. I’m afraid he’s becoming more aggressive. He’s grabbed my arm pretty tight before and when I told him not to ever do that again he apologized. But I dont care. I’ve never put up with things like this before, and it hurts my self esteem to look at myself like this. Putting up with such bad treatment because I’m afraid there won’t be anything else. When I do build myself up to say I have to go even if it means being alone I still end up with, yeah right, i might as well stay.
There’s a friend that has expressed his interest in me. He knows of my relationship, but has also seen the bad in it. He always tells me how amazing he thinks I am, but I just think “yeah bc you dont know”. I would be too afraid to ever tell him the truth. I feel stuck with a bad guy. Is this going to be my life. I’ve always tried to do things “right” and push past the bad guys, but now I feel like I will have to settle.
No matter what we cant stay in a toxic abusive relationship of any kind. I agree to feel resentful and mostly because he isnt even trying to be smart and safe . I always wonder if i know about two then is there more ? He can expose you to something else regardless in the process . If he was a good guy then I think continuing your relationship would be fine . Unfortunately he isnt loyal and he isnt being a gentlemen with you by almost slapping you then graduating to manhandling you . I dont think we should be where we arent happy , loved , respected , and safe . Your not bound to him . It be better to find a nice/loyal guy with hsv then date the meAN/disloyal guy with hsv . I know it makes things more complicated with the stigma but I read lots of guys without hsv are okay with it . The stigma sucks . Most have mouth hsv and even many without symptoms, same goes for genitals hsv. How easy we can all get it is also and without knowing it . Everyone scared to get it may already have it too . Just leave and take some time for you , you still deserve better . Break up in public place or over the phone to stay safe .