I feel worn out

Mental health
1

As the title says...I feel worn out. For the last three months, I've been having trouble sleeping. Even on nights I get 6-8 hours sleep, I feel tired the next day. And when I'm tired, I get very irritable. I also get insecure. 

Sometimes when I walk down the street, I feel like people are staring at me. I don't know why they do, but I've caught a few people staring at me. I know that being tall does attract attention...but some of them looked like they were looking in disgust. I find it hard to start conversations with people I don't know well. I even have problems starting conversations with family!! 

I seem to be able to push my thoughts to one side during the day..but then when I lie in bed, they come flooding in. They're not all bad, but there are a few that scare me. My suicidal thoughts are back. They seem to come and go, I've been to counselling for them, but hated it and ended up lying about how I felt to get out of it. They seem to be worse on days where I'm really insecure.

In a burst of unusual self confidence earlier...I bought a gym membership and organised to train with a personal trainer for a month. I have no idea what I was thinking. I know that exercise does help, but im scared that I'll end up hurting myself.

I haven't told anyone about how I feel in public. Or about how I'm not sleeping. I have no idea how to even bring it up. 

Should I go back to my gp?? I don't know if I have anyone I trust enough to tell. 

Any replies are much appreciated,

Thanks, Jack

2

Hi jack57270

We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologies for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.

If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The Samaritans offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.

Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet here: https://patient.info/health/dealing-with-suicidal-thoughts, which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need.

If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you're going through and will be able to help.

Kindest regards

Patient

3

If you are having any suicidal thoughts at all,please go to your doctor. Xx

4

 I think it would be a good idea to go back to the therapist and be totally honest so he or she can provide the support and resources that you need to. It's always so much better to have support and someone you can talk to you rather than bottle it all up inside.  You can trust a therapist because they must keep everything confidential by law. Get the help you need so you can live your life with peace of mind and happiness. 

 keep seeing the therapist even when you start to feel a little better. It's very important  to your recovery. 

5

 Tell the therapist everything! Everything you said on this site. About walking down the street and how that makes you feel, about not sleeping, and how you can't trust anybody, about suicidal thoughts, and laying in bed with all kinds of thoughts. 

Believe me, therapists see this every single day and they have the tools to help you. That is their job and that's what they're there for.

 remember they have to keep all information private and confidential by law. So don't hold anything back because that's the only way they can help you. You'll be so glad you did when you start to feel better. 🙂

6

Hi Jack,

Go back to your doctors and get something to help you sleep.

I suffer chronic anxiety and my meds caused insomnia.

Zopiclone 7.5mg is helpful but if you want an off the shelf sleep remedy try Nytol.

7

Hi Jack go back to your doctor and tell him exactly how you are feeling.He may suggest medication however you also need to see a therapist to deal with your anxiety and low self esteem.Talking is necessary as when you hold everything inside it manifests itself in some form.Trust me there isn't anything you could say that they haven't heard before.Go to You Tube and find relaxation for insomnia and try listening to that when you are in bed.