I hate a family member. We got along up until I was a teen. I lost it. Started toying with the idea of ending my life. Now, a couple years later, I've accepted it but still can't stand to be around them for prolonged periods of time. But now I feel guilty, very guilty. I know I am a jerk and a selfish one. Can't change though, because I still feel this way. I'm always scared I'll have to be put in a situation of prolonged time with them. It runs my life. I stay in my room, door locked, in isolation. Am I a narcissist?
Hello ,
You would benefit from counselling or CBT to discuss, explore and find a way forward from your feelings.
Ask your Doctor if they can refer you or try a self referral service if you can find a local one.
You will get over this, never ever give up.
Peace 