I hate myself

I cannot look at myself without wanting to vomit. I dont want to eat at all but I have to in order to convince my family I'm fine, I want to cut all the time but I can't because of my family. All of this is because feel and look so fat, even though I work out and eat healthy. I say im fat but it's really too much muscle and i know this, but I still look huge.

All I want is to get smaller. I love how small ladies always look so good in everything and they don't have huge thighs like me. I literally don't want to wear anything but baggy clothing and I never want to go out of the house because I am so ashamed of my body. Now please don't tell me to just accept my body the way it is when it is absolutely disgusting. What I need are solutions on how to change my body, not how I need to deal with what I have or accept it. I will not accept my body when it can be smaller, thinner, and more beautiful. I am so sick of trying to do things the healthy way and seeing no results, so I might as well just starve myself. I need solutions because in order to fix my mind, I need to fix my body first. I've been going through this long enough to know what I need to do but that I can't do it on my own. Please help me

Hello, best to see your Dr and explain what you are felling, you are not alone, many feel this way it's called Depression. Just be honest how you feel and your Dr will help you and recommend a good path for you, you will feel better knowing you are getting the right help, it will take time but you will be on the right path and feel good about yourself again, I know I have been where you're at. Hope is right around the corner. Good luck   

Hi I diagree with you as I think you need to fix your mind first then you wouldn't think your body is disgusting.  These are the negative thoughts and feelings which are typical of depressive thinking. 

We can always be smaller,  thinner or more beautiful but where do you draw the line?  Do you do it before you get so thin when you turn sideways you can't be seen?   I think whatever size or how beautiful you will never be happy with what you have got and there will always be a reason to hide yourself away. 

One of my sisters is too thin and has a slighly bumpy nose.  She has spent her life as a recluse because of these.  They are her excuse to hide from the world.  She has wasted most of her life like that so please don't end up like her.

Oh and I bet you are the only person who thinks you are ugly and fat too!   Have others called you names?   You are calling yourself these names and no one else is. 

I know you probably won't want to hear this but I will tell the truth as I see it from my own experiences.  See your doctor and get help for your depression and anxiety.

Hello my friend mike helped me with exactly this problem you know he loved his fitness lol he told me to think of my body as a fire if you put logs onto a fire that has low flames the logs will never catch fire the secret to a good fire is the twigs so to keep your metabolism burning you should eat very small and very often it seems silly really like you are eating more often every two hours he make me have an apple or something then one proper meal a day the weight fell off me and it stayed off I only exercise once a week if he were here he would help you with this I know it

hey...i can totally understand how you feel and believe me I am not going to say to you to just change your mindset and think positive bla bla bla. I know it hurts when you others beautiful around you but if you want to make that change, you gotta stay strong and hard working towards the goal you want to achieve. You said that you are ready to starve yourself, please dont do that because it will definately not help you. You must set goals how much to exercise and how much to eat. Eat your breakfast, lunch and dinner at proper time but in very little amount but dont skip it. Never sleep after eating, atleast have two hours gap prior to sleeping. If you are consuming coffee/tea...stop it and replace it with green tea. calculate your calorie intake and make sure to exercise no matter how painful it is. all the best

Try limiting your eating portions and spread them out throughout the day. Also keep in mind that it's not so much how much you eat, but also what you eat. I would suggest avoiding foods that contain a lot of fat content and sugars. Limit your carbs, and maintain a good intake of protein. Don't completely cut out carbs from your diet, your body still needs fuel. Ensure you also fulfill your vitamin and mineral requirements, as a lot of them are excreted when you exercise. Starving yourself will put your body is a more worse state than before; mentally and physically. It will have the opposite effect you seek and focus on storing fat harder.

It is a slow gradual process, do not be discouraged. As long as you limit your food intake less than what you are normally used to, you should see minor differences within a month. Exercise will help speed up the process, but it is possible to still lose weight without it. It just comes down to what you eat.

well you atre lining up for anorexia arent you? were you every abused incidentally? so much self hatred and I really know what that is like, I feel toxic and tainted unworthy etc, giving helps and I am glad if I can anyway. if there is a way you could do a chalk outlike of yourself following arund your body closely if you know what I mean. Look at it and see if that person looks as fat as you think you are for a start.

The way you despise yourself ok who has made you feel despised have you not lived up to being what your parents wanted? Its so hard I know but you have got to keep saying to yourself I have the right to be a person on this earth the same as anyone, and do look at programmes on tele about overeaters and look around you and compare yourself not to the thing ones but the multitude of self confident fat ones, who dont see to think twice about how they look or are. Get someone to draw a picture of you, also draw one of yourself, you dont have to be an artist just as near as you can. it is interesting to se ehow differently they see you.

 I haver never met a  girl or woman who thinks they are physically alright. I have skinny legs ostrich ankles hate them and my feet are deformed. have you got those things? I have such high arches and the bone in the ball of my feet protrudes and can hurt when I walk, my big toe sticks up and cant go down and my toes curl under. I had a broken nose when I was 10 and six operations over the years then some years ago my horse reared and wacked my one the nose with her head and my nose has remained crooked every since. Yet you know with makeup I willsay people have said I am so good looking and so lucky!!!!! I got very slim, everyone said too skinny a bag of bones, yet I ate normally. after children I normalised as one does. Now at 70 I am about a stone and half unmovably overweight.

MY daughter is incredibly good looking liz taylor style perfect hour glass figure but she was always going on about too big bum and fat thights that only she could see. One of my sons was skin and bones and a selective eater, turned to weight lifting went up to 14 stone is now 17stone, he hated himself too once. He is heavily built up and is proud of himself. My other one had what he called overshot lower teeth because his fathers side had big chins and it carrie dthrough, he got reallt depressedand said he was ugly and got round shouldered and demoralised. But he got promotion  slowly succeeded. his boss was a tall your woman and very clever. They became attached he changed he is now married to her and she things othing or his looks or the fact she is three inches taller, she is also very good looking.

 So all three of my kids and me have had body dysmorphic disorder.

I would think you are very depressed and that apart from realising you are I am sure fine as anyoe can be physically you need to do some compareing and realise even if you were fat you could still ahve a very adoring partner.

Did you feel your parents loved you I mean reallyt not them just saying it

Did you feel you were the right sex

Do you feel you were the wrong person in any way , not the person they wanted and you maybe have internalised their feelings.

 Do you think tha tpeople who may have ade you have such low self esteeem are fantastic people perfect in every way and therefire can justify judging?

 and also with the depression you need effective meds.

Hey you how you feeling

So ok sam has already covered the best way to approach this although I don't remember putting to so flatly but the answer is in there somewhere lol

The reason most diets don't work is because they tell you to supplement your diet with complan stuff like that like weight watcher shakes which are great and work a little however when you drop the shake and return to life as normal the weight comes back instantly real grim right

The way your body works is your metabolism needs to burn off the calories so calorie control is always a must find out what your calorie intake should be and stick to it per day

Now instead of having three meals a day your going to have to have one evening meal and lots of little snacks fruit etc stay away from carbs such as pasta potato pretty much anything white

I say white for weight lol

Dependant on the time your awake the snacks should be evenly spaced out and should consist of 5 per day never eat after 8pm as your body starts to slow down some for example

8am bowl of cereal ( non sugary like cornflakes)

10am a pear ( one on its own)

12 noon handful of salad ( or a fruit pot)

2pm two ritva with lot fat spendable cheese

4pm an apple

6pm a nice cooked meal no pasta or carbs ham and eggs

You won't need to snack between snacks obviously and in two weeks you'll see the weight start to drop off

Give it ago for faster results go walking cycling anything is good as long as your sweating if possible get yourself into a gym if you need a programme to start you off or you want a diet plan for a week pm me we will talk about what you like and don't like and I'll sort a good plan out for you if you are comfortable discussing your height and weight and age I can sort you an exercise plan out to

Thinking of you mike

Thank you so much for your reply, I will definitely try eating the way you've suggested! I was wondering though since I wake up at 7:30, exercise fasted, and go for a walk how should the eating schedule be planned out for the day? I also do yoga, pilates and HIIT, do you think those are good for losing fat?

Thank you - Erin

Hello, thank you for your reply.

I am actually on antidepressants at the moment and have been for about a year although I have relapsed into a more depressive state.

As for your questions yes, I do feel like my parents love me. They are very supportive and are helping me all the way. They never have set incredibly high standards for me and have never abused me in any way, they often tell me theyre proud of me. They also are in fact are the ones who disagree with me on being fat.

I never felt like I was the wrong sex.

As for the question about anyone making me have low self-esteem, the only person who did that is me. You see, i am a perfectionist and I am the one who sets high standards for myself. When i don't meet my standards I get disappointed therefore leading me to be very unhappy because I am incapable of being perfect. Nobody is perfect, I understand that, but I still strive for that perfection.

I hope this answers your questions

Thanks

Erin

Hi sparrow I'm not sure I understand your question regarding the meals you do you mean because you shouldn't exercise on a full tummy? If so that's true however we are not filing your tummy that's the point small and often keeps the Hunger away but does not bloat and therefore your not exerciseing on a full tummy your keeping the acids in your stomach active so when you eat the caliories burn off faster like if I add potatoes to a cook pot with cold water add heat them they go stodgy the starch doesn't cook out and your left with gloopy mash

However if you hear the water first then add the potatoe it cooks much faster and doesn't turn gloopy try that out at home it's a little experiment for you you'll see the difference

Your tummy is the pot of water if you keep it boiling then the food burns off easier faster and you get all the minerals and vitamins

Yes any exercise is great for you both physically and mentally sparrow so keep those things up I'd be tempted to maybe go for a brisk walk every two days or so time permitting of course get a sweat on and work hard at the walk if you cheat on the walk you only cheat yourself so push yourself a little if that's not what you meant by the question please don't hesitate to read it

Thinking if you

Mike

Re-ask it lol sorry

Please remember sparrow portion control is paramount to success here to a good way to think about portion control is your tummy is about the size of your fist that's all so I've stipulated a few portion sizes there in my first message however cereal you tip from a box a good way to combat that is use a cup a stardard coffee mug as a measuring device is fine you get one cup lol evening meals I'm. It concerned about with portion so don't you be either your pots at its hottest by this point just stay away as much as possible from carbs Hun you'll be fine