I hate this now really I know not end of the world

Sexual health
1

Hi

Just a bit of a rant. Met this guy on this site and he been texting and calling almost daily and not looking for anything serious but at times I do get lonely. This guy wants to meet me but feel I be wasting his time because he may run away. I know I may see him and may not even go there with him but obviously he does. To be honest I want something casual but don't want to tell him and I know I got too.

Tonight he was being sweet but said I got to tell you something and you may run away. I then hear them words from him mouth that if someone has ebola or HIV and I know what we have is not as bad as that. But had to hang up and now wondering just not bother meet him. We both just wanting fun. He does seem nice but I completely shut down. I just feel like I should meet him. He sounds like he wants more too.

Before this I would of met a guy by now just fear of telling him now. But feel my instincts are right he too much like my ex or from same place but talking to him I am beginning to like him. Just telling him would not be great.

2

Do what is best for you hun its hard I now but if he likes you and U feel there can be more just go on one date and see how u both feel if he likes u enough he will understand and another thing hun bit akk men are like ex's I now cause I've had 3 sh*tty relationships and I always use to think all men are the same I wish u all the best x

3

Hun, I completely am lost on what he said to you. Arw you saying he said he does have HIV or did he say that someone w HIV or Ebola are deal breakers for him? Please clarify, so I can give advice

If that is what your gut is telling you, then RUN! Listen to your woman's intuition. So many woman ignore it and we choose to fall in love it just w the potential a man has or that we envision him to be, rather than who he is. I have been able to figure out before needing to disclose, that I was not a good match w someone and/or they wouldn't accept it. Herpes definitely has forced hormones from being physically attracted to someone, take the back seat and not over look red flags... Because I can no longer be driven by list and that's how you need to look at this. You've been posting since I first came on this forum and it is the same story w yiu and guys. That ia a red flag. You need to take a time out for yourself until you learn you are just as worthy of having love w heroes, as you were before it. You had many dysfunctional behaviors w men and insecurity problems before herpes... Don't you see? It's not herpes, heroes just puts a magnifying glass on what was already there and we use it to further validate that voice in our head, that we are not worthy, we are not good enough, etc. This is YOU doing this to yourself, not the herpes. The virus could give two s**** if you are lonely, if you have a self esteem problem or you're insecure. It is a virus that exists just to exist... This is you doing this and using herpes to validate those inner demons to say: yep.. It's true. I am not good enough, I am not lovable and I should just quit now, because I will always be rejected. This was the same thing yiu feared w before herowsw. Time to focus on loving yourself. Why would you Falk in love w someone and give that to someone else first, before you give it to yourself. Focus your energy on therapy to learn to move tiu, w herpes and all, before investing what little love there is inside you, yo another person. When we do not love ourselves and someone leaves us, rejects us or abandons us, we now have lost our validation and are left an empty shell, because we relied on another to give to us, what we should have been giving to ourselves the entire time. You focus on boys a lot Scorpio and have since the first time you came on here. A man in your life doesb jot validate you. YOU have to validate yiurself. When you get to that point, you are not going to fear telling someone and quite honestly, you're being forced because of herpes to listen to your gut, instead of your loneliness, which has led you to make bad decision's in the past. This is your silver lining having herpes & that is to break your dysfunctional cycle w men who use you and throw you aside. So look at this like a blessing in disguise, because I think you needed an intervention of sorts, even one like this and if that's what it took to get you to learn to listen to your gut and make better choices, then so be it.

4

Hi feelbroken,

He said he would run away if someone had ebola or HIV.Then says but I know you don't have it.

I'm shocked everything you said is right about me. GH has stopped me making more bad choices.

I was with my son's father made me feel l was nothing.So been on this bad path. It made look at myself and say not surprising I got this. I am a lot better now and focusing on myself and my son.

So going to tell this guy I don't want to talk to him..laptop slow

5

Well HIV and Ebola are much different than a harmless virus that pops up w a bump or a few here and there. You're talking about diseases that would kill you. You guys haven't even met in person, you are putting the cart before the horse. Wait till you even see if there is chemistry between you two before you start worrying. I have a friend who her current bf said that heroes was a deal breaker and 3 months later, he said he didn't care, she was worth the risk and they've been together since September now. You have to stop protecting your insecurities onto others, I know this is easier said than done, as I do the exact same thing.

You need to put breaks on things. You're already talking about going there w someone you've not met in person. Slow your roll. If he's worth anything, he will not be pushing you for sex so soon and you already hinted at him not wanting anything. If you want casual sex then fine. You can give him the following statistic to put him at ease. The transmission risk for female to male, having sex 2-3xs a week for a year, abstaining from sex during symptoms are as follows:

- no condom or daily medications: 4%

- use of condoms or daily medication: 2%

- use of both condoms and medications: 1%

Also, the use of a female condom covers the outside lab is, thereby providing more protection than a male condom. Reports are that it is more pleasurable for both the male and female. The female condom is thinner, heats up w thrusting and the ring on the outside provides clitorial stimulation.

Do not blame yourself for getting this. I went over two yrs no sex and has it once and got this. Dies that mean I deserve it? A virgin lost d on here yesterday that she got herpes. A wife of 30yrs got genital heroes as well from oral sex w her husband. Do they deserve it? No. Did they get it from sleeping around? Nope. Kt unfortunately happens to the best of this and it stinks, I know. You and I both had constant symptoms and only in the last couple months has mine done a 180 and things are better for me. Ad the saying goes: Sh*t happens.... And sh*t happened to us, but I van assure you that I'd pick herpes any day, over my chronic depression if I had a choice of the two.

Yes, I've made bad choices w men too. I tend to pick emotionally unavailable sociopathic narcissists. Because of the intensity and volatility between me and that type of person, it creates a strong dysfunctional connection, because when things are good, they're amazing for the short time it lasts and sex is crazy passionate... I met a man back I'm Jan that I have this type of dysfunction w and I believe had I not had herpes, I'd jumped full on w him quickly and when it ended at some point, it left me more broken than I am now from the last relationship yrs ago. So yes, there is a silver lining to be seen in everything, including herpes.

You deserve love and respect Scorpio, but do you see? We both keep being attracted to the sane type and attracting the same type of man that has done a lot of damage to us. Let this be your saving grace, because I think the emotional damage inflicted by a bad person, is more devastated and has much greater and life long consequences, than herpes will ever have on us.